The Butcher of Gadobhra

Rolly, Ozzy, Ben, and Suzette all found themselves floating in a grey void, and the same message was given to each of them.

[Your entire party has died. If this were Dungeons and Dragons, we'd call it a Total Party Kill (TPK), and your Dungeon Master would level up. But here, we just call it Saturday.

As always, when you die, you have options for the next few hours:

-Browse the Global Data Net for information. (Costing you 1 Silver Piece, taken from any bonus you have earned from your employer.)

Play vintage video games. (We'll pick the ones you excel at so you can feel like a winner.)

-Review your notifications, your death, rant, and plan your revenge.

Since your entire party died, you have the option of moving to a common area to talk with your group members. Please Choose, or just sit here for four hours.]

Not surprisingly, all four chose the group option. They found themselves seated on comfortable old leather chairs in a brightly lit room. The windows showed snow-covered mountains, but there was no door. A bar stood in one corner, a data center in another. Snacks were placed on a table. Rolly headed for the snacks and Ben for the bar.

Ben was disappointed when Ozzy showed up. “Damn, I was hoping you could guys would kill the damned thing.”

Ozzy smiled, “Oh, we got him. Good team effort. He also got me. His spell drained the last of my life after I killed him.”

Rolly was hitting the snack table hard, taking advantage of the better food. "What a shit show that was. That damn wolf tore through us like we were toddlers, and we could barely deal with a bunny skeleton." The next words Rolly got out were ignored as he talked while chewing. After filling a plate with deviled eggs, cheese dip, bread, and slices of cake, he plopped back into a chair. "Or rather, I was useless. Ozzy waded into those undead critters like a pit bull on speed. How the hell did you do that?"

"I'm a Butcher. I chop bones and hack meat for 12 hours a day and have special skills for it—pretty much my only skills. It doesn't work on live stuff. All my messages said I had a default weapon when I fought the live rabbits, but the dead ones were different. It was just like I was hacking up sedge beasts. No effort at all."

"And then you started throwing tree trunks." Ben opened a bottle of wine and offered Suzette a glass. Ozzy waved off his offer.

"That's a bit different. I told you about the Caber tossing. Like in the Scottish games? I tossed a log at a sedge beast that was trying to kill me and got a message that I’d learned a new Primary Weapon Skill that needs a log at least 12 feet long and over 100 lbs. as the weapon. The fething wolf did 240 points of damage with that fear spell and was tearing you guys up. I got a bit desperate. Sorry about that, Rolly; I really wasn't aiming for you."

"No worries. Your aim sucked. I calculated the trajectory and saw you were going to miss, so I grabbed Mr. Wolf and made sure he got hit, which meant I got hit. Not your fault. But how did you get so damned strong?"

"Okay, I don't feel bad then. I even got 100 experience points for killing you," Ozzy smiled. As for strength, I've picked up 3 points of STR from work, and I've got 3 more points from my Heritage."

"You got a100 experience for killing me? You are such a dick. I hate you. Do you know how many hours I've been herding cows around trying to get any experience? I hope one of us gets experience for killing you someday."

Suzette downed her glass of wine and tossed it to Ben. He caught it, refilled it, and handed it back. After another long drink, she said, "Wish granted Rolly. I killed him the other night and got experience for it." The flippant remark didn't hide that she wasn't happy about it.

Rolly laughed, Ozzy was shocked, and Ben was intrigued. "I'd like to hear that story." He was also worried. He and Rolly tended to shrug things off. Suzette could get depressed if something bothered her—killing a friend would do that. Ozzy tended to internalize things. He'd spent years hiding behind the mask of the perfect manservant.

"And I'd love to tell it, but I don't want to screw it all up. I got offered a hidden skill like Ozzy, with a big emphasis on the hidden part. This one is more involved, and I don't think I should talk about it just yet."

"It's Easy enough, Suzy. You tell us what parts you can—keep the rest secret. We've all been in these situations before."

"Thanks; I feel bad keeping secrets from you guys." She leaned forward, looking better. "I've basically got a chance to learn some alchemy and poisons, maybe a bit more. I screwed up trying to heal that wound on Ozzy. The herbs had a poison in them. I got experience from killing him and learned a specialized version of the poisoning skill. Now that I know how to do it right, I've been gathering different poisonous herbs and berries. There are some nasty berries growing near the town. That's where I got the poison I used to slow up the wolf."

"It's also why I was wandering around in the forest and got killed by a monster the other day. It was a horrible fight, and I lost, but even that turned out ok. I got another point of CHA out of it for being Heroic, maybe a type of quest? - which will be coming in handy with my new job. And my ears are so much cooler now." She flipped her hair back to illustrate her new look.

"Hmm, Heritage, hidden skills, Boss Monsters. I suggest we spend this time-out catching each other up on what we feel comfortable telling." Ben was pacing now. The other three smiled. When Ben started pacing back and forth, he smelled mysteries and hidden games of death and deceit. Sometimes, they were even real. "Ok, let's check our notifications, then go over skills, levels, stats, heritage, etc. and see if we can put a plan together. It would sure be nice if we could just share the notifications we got."

“Oh, you can do that, Ben. I noticed the other day. It gets boring sitting in a meadow waiting for animals to get stuck in thickets. Just click on the small box in the bottom right corner, and it will share with your group.” Rolly sat up suddenly." Hey, shouldn't we have gotten more messages? We did kill the bastard, right?"

"Haven't you been asking for a summary now and then, Rolly? The game saves them all. Just ask for one. Let's all go through our messages, share what we'd like to share, and then compare notes." Ozzy leaned back and closed his eyes.

[Your group has destroyed Chartok the Necro Wolf, a level 6 Elite Boss monster.

Your group has earned the following:

-Vanquishing Boss Creatures gives several rewards, including Enhancement Points, Boss Experience, and Loot Chests.

-Each member of your party has earned 500 Boss experience for this encounter. Boss experience may be applied to any of your skills. As normal, you will also receive matching experience in the stats those skills are associated with. (Note that the penalties for Tertiary and Secondary skills do not apply to Boss Experience.)

-Each party member has earned 15 Enhancement Points.

-A Tier 1 Loot Chest has appeared at the location where you killed Chartok the Necro Wolf. Each of you may open the chest once to pull out random loot. Only your party may open the chest for the next seven days. If no one opens the chest in the next seven days’ time, the next person to open the chest will receive the loot, and the chest will disappear.]

Rolly was the first to talk. "LOOT CHEST! Ok, the first thing we do when we get out of here is head back and grab the loot!!"

"So, what conclusions can we draw from all of this?" Ben had taken a piece of charcoal from the fire and was preparing to write on one of the walls. "I think number one is that we are unskilled with weapons and armor, and the system wants to keep us that way."

"Not the system - ACME. I think that's important to remember. The system was set up for players. ACME has screwed with our characters to get the most work out of us and keep us from gaining skills. They don't want their workforce slipping its leash." The others nodded when Ozzy said this. The not-so-subtle mood control, things Billy had said, and their own experiences all confirmed this.

"Not all weapons, though. Suzette is tossing darts, Ozzy is tossing tree trunks and hacking undead." Ben added to his list 'some weapons work.'

Rolly spoke up. "Different categories. I think we have two things going on. The first is these 'hidden Primary skills.' Both Ozzy and Suzy got one from doing something very niche and by accident. I think there are more of those skills out there, but they won't be easy to find. And darts and cleavers aren't weapons - they are tools. Ozzy needs cleavers to butcher, but they are a default weapon. He can only hurt things because of a synergy with his skills. Darts are just a tool used in a pub game, which is why Suzette could toss them at the wolf. They do next to no damage; it's the synergy with her poison skill that will make them hurt stuff. I think we all have to look for things like that. Stuff ACME didn't consider as a weapon and that we can turn into a weapon. Or maybe experiment and find more of these hidden Primary skills."

He paused to eat another deviled egg, then continued. "And along with that, we need to grind out some stats to make ourselves stronger. Ozzy mentioned getting 5 experience points in CON from eating sedge beast meat. I think we need to do that every day at lunchtime. It will suck, but getting some poison resistance and a point of CON will make it worth it in the long run. The first couple of points aren't too bad to earn. I’ve gathered all the information I can from a dozen people besides ourselves. Gaining 50 experience points in a skill gets you to Rank 1 in that skill and will give you a +1 in that stat. Rank 2 is at 150. If you have more than one skill for a stat, it will go up faster. We should all be grinding out what we can. Every stat point will help."

Ben ticked off several points on his fingers. "So, while we work this week and get ready for another excursion, we should keep some things in mind.

1. ACME is screwing us. We need to look for loopholes.

2. Default weapons suck. Find tools that work as weapons or odd weapons they forgot to blacklist.

3. Experiment and find new Primary skills.

4. Grind stats.”

"What's an Enhancement Point, Rolly?" Suzette had scrolled through the messages again and saw the reward.

"I have no clue other than you can use them to increase your maximum stat level per Tier. Maybe there’s info in the system?"

They all started shouting commands.

"Help Enhancements?"

"Help Spending Enhancement points."

"Help List Enhancements."

The last command brought up a glowing blue box in front of each of them, with a long list with hundreds of entries that Ben shared with his friends.

Enhancements Page 1 of 10

Increase Health 1 +50 points to health score Cost: 2

Increase Health 2 +100 points to health score Cost: 5

Increase Health 3 +250 points to health score Cost: 10

Massive Multiply STR x2, +500 Health, 2x Height, 8x Mass. Cost: 15

Gigantic Multiply Health x2, +2000 Health, 2x Height, 8x Mass,

+100 mitigation. Terrifying Aura (Massive required.) Cost: 35

Identification 1 Levels 1-5 Cost: 3

Identification 2 Levels 6-10 Cost: 5

Take to the Skies Grants Wings Cost: 5/2

Monkeying Around Prehensile Tail Cost: 5/1

Devilishly Handsome Barbed Tail Cost: 5/1

Attack from Behind Massive Tail Cost: 5

Faster with 4. (or 6 or 8) Extra sets of legs Cost: 5/2

Armed to the Teeth Extra set of arms Cost: 5

Double Header Extra head Cost: 5

Minion Costs Note: Where there are two costs listed, the second refers to the cost for a minion. Example: 4/1

It went on and on for pages, showing more and more bizarre options. Ozzy scanned the list quickly, “This doesn’t seem right. Some of this stuff looks like mutations out of a horror movie or stuff you'd use to build creatures.”

Rolly was going through the pages as fast as he could, “Who cares? There’s enough stuff in this list that you could become a dragon, or close to it. Who wouldn’t want to be a huge stompy, fire-breathing monster?"

Suzette was looking at the list of skills but then brought their attention back to the experience. "This is important. Read the description again: We can put that 500 experience anywhere, without taking the hit from tertiary and secondary skills. That represents half a level, but more importantly, we can put it where we need it. I have skills for DEX, AGI, CHR, and INT, but you three are more limited. Ozzy, do you have anything that isn't STR?"

"Yeah, sort of. I can eat poisoned meat to raise CON, and fix broken tools to get DEX. Both at 5 points. I see your point. Putting the 500 experience into those gains me a couple of stat points in each."

Rolly disagreed. "Pick the more important stat and put 350 in that one and 150 in the other. If you do 250 each, bother are at Rank 2. But with break points at 150 and 350, you can squeeze out an extra point."

The Butcher nodded his head, "And I need the CON. My STR is too high for my muscles, bad enough that the system gives me not-subtle-hints."

“A good point. We need to consider experience points as well as this list of strange abilities.” Ben grabbed another bottle of wine and poured a round of drinks. “Let’s look at this list carefully, especially you, Rolly. Memorize as much of it as possible, just in case we can only access the list here. And then we go on a spending spree.”