Chapter 49
The Violets marched weakly through the narrow alleyways.
The Violets stumbled forward, searching the bleak gray landscape. Some Clones dragged their swords or spears along the ground. They looked like a bunch of reserves.
The sound of metal scraping against the floor made everyone’s ears ache, but no one seemed to care.
“So frustrating…”
Clone 71 unconsciously reached to take off her mask.
The masks we wore only had eye holes, and after wearing them for a while, they became suffocating.
The temperature of the underground prison was cooler compared to the outside, so we weren’t sweating, but not being able to take off the mask for hours made it itchy and hard to breathe.
Nearby, Clone 14 grabbed the hand of 71, who was trying to pull up her mask to her chin.
“What are you doing? Did you forget the rule about hiding your face outside?”
“This is a dungeon! No one is watching!”
As the two continued their scuffle, the Clones around them shot them a look, and they returned to their places.
These days, our hunting looked like this. Moving mechanically, fighting, getting hurt, dying, and being resurrected.
In the process, it felt like something within us was being chipped away. Just like when wood is cut and sawdust flies, or when stones are carved and dust falls, my ambition and passion within were disappearing.
Was it because I was tired?
While I could disperse the pain, I couldn’t disperse the fatigue. Not feeling pain and having vitality were matters belonging to different realms.
This led to arguments. We used to hardly bicker like this among ourselves.
Due to this issue, we would periodically swap consciousness with those waiting in a Violet Network or others in different areas. It was to prevent mental exhaustion.
Yet, for some time now, the motivation switch inside of me had been long turned off.
A Violet at the front spotted an object the size of a person moving among the ruins. It was a Monster walking on two legs and was twice the size of an adult male.
“Ah, monster spotted.”
“What type?”
“It’s a Growler. What do we do?”
“Do we really have to go up close and fight? Let’s just shoot it down.”
The Violets moved in unison, quietly surrounding it. They sheathed their swords and spears and pulled out their crossbows.
In silent coordination, they moved to their positions and aimed at the monster. The butt of the stock was braced against their shoulders, and their fingers rested on the triggers. They aligned the shining red dot in the center of the rectangular sight with the center of the monster’s body.
They infused magical power into the bolts. Unlike with swords, they weren’t as used to this, so it took a little time. The bolts glowed with red magical energy.
The moment everyone’s thoughts synchronized, the triggers were pulled simultaneously. The bowstrings snapped lightly, and over twenty red streaks flew toward the monster.
Whether it heard the sound of the bowstring snapping or not, at the moment we fired, it perked up its wide ears and turned to look at us. But it was already too late to evade.
“Grawaaa!”
The monster’s body was enveloped in an array of shining red beams. In less than a second, the magical energy within the bolts exploded like fireworks. The monster collapsed to the ground, looking like a hedgehog. The Violets pulled the lever under the crossbow to reload and slowly approached the monster’s corpse. Smoke began to rise from where the bolts had struck.
“Ah, now we can’t sell it.”
One of the Clones grumbled. The Growler’s body, swept up in a barrage of fire, was in ruins. Unlike other low-level monsters, its hide could be skinned and sold for a high price. I didn’t know how to skin it, but there was someone at the dungeon entrance who would do it for a fee.
However, with all these holes, it would undoubtedly end up in a grinder.
“What were you doing when I said to shoot?”
“That’s true, but… it’s such a waste…”
The Violets retrieved the bolts. Some had been damaged or broken due to the magical energy. Recycling seemed impossible.
Bored, a few Clones pulled out their swords and poked at the monster’s corpse. Others mindlessly chopped off its head with an axe. Monsters are strange. While alive, they felt as tough as a rock even under concentrated sword strikes, but once dead, they became so mushy.
“What are you doing?”
“Look, the blood is black!”
“It’s not like it’s your first time seeing this. Stop with the useless stuff and let’s go.”
“Are we not taking anything?”
“I don’t know. Let’s just go eat.”
As everyone started to leave, one of the Clones, who had been blankly staring at the Growler’s rolling head, walked over slowly. Then they kicked the head away.
“What are you doing? Hurry up!”
“Uh…”
Watching the head roll around was less fun than expected. I forced a weak laugh and joined the line with an expressionless face as if nothing had happened.
Why am I acting like this?
I was doing strange things I usually wouldn’t.
We made our way to the edge of the empty ruins where there were few people and no monsters.
Tonight’s dinner was Combat Ration. Everyone settled down and pulled on the strings attached to the bags. Steam rose up. When the time was right, we tore open the bags and poured the food into makeshift paper bowls.
“Looks like pasta.”
“Pasta it is.”
I picked up a fork and shoved some pasta into my mouth. It was delicious the first time I ate it, but now it was losing its taste. Maybe it was because I was getting tired of it.
“I don’t want to eat this.”
The others began to throw their food aside one by one.
“How about some beer? We also have vodka and whiskey…”
When someone brought it up, everyone took out the alcoholic drinks they had bought the other day from their inventories and started drinking them. This wasn’t great either.
“It’s tough, but should we just call it a day here?”
“Yeah, let’s do that…”
After carelessly discarding our food, we walked back up to the exit.
After walking for a while, I felt a shaking sensation from far away. The ground was vibrating.
“What is that sound?”
“Probably an armored car or a truck.”
Inside the dungeon, you could often hear trucks coming and going to transport minerals or monster corpses.
But this sound was too loud for a truck. The vibrations got closer.
“Huh? What is that sound?”
“Look over there! Look!”
With a thunderous roar, something massive was seen crossing between the ruins of the buildings. It was getting closer to us.
“Could that be… a Crawler?”
“It seems like it?”
Realizing the situation, we all panicked and started running for our lives. Soon, a gigantic form smashed through the wall and revealed itself. It was a large monster resembling a caterpillar, as tall as a three-story apartment building.
The Crawler, the only mid-level monster in this dungeon, adorned the tutorial as the boss monster. Why was a monster that should have been deep in the canyon here?
We fired bolts at it. The magically-infused bolts flew and bounced off its metal-like glimmering hide without piercing it. Clones 9 and 23 approached with swords.
The Crawler simply stomped on 9 and 23. It felt like we had jumped right in front of its path; we couldn’t do anything.
“Let’s run…”
We dashed out in a panic. The Crawler quickly crossed the canyon, and the dust it stirred up could be seen from where we were.
“How about we rest for a bit…?”
“Yeah, let’s do that…”
From the next day, the dungeon team stopped working and holed up in the dormitory.
We were exhausted.
***
Recently, we were just lying around without doing any assigned tasks. Even the Clones attending classes would quietly slip out after taking attendance.
“Hey! Are you even concentrating?”
While I was swinging my sword in the air, Frederick approached me. Seeing him scan over me, I braced myself for a scolding, but surprisingly, he opened his mouth cautiously.
“Oi, brat. You feeling sick?”
“Huh?”
“You look like a corpse. Do you have any pain?”
Does my appearance really look that bad?
I was feeling lazy, slumped inside the dormitory, when Daphne spoke up from beneath my bed.
“Rugilinn? Are you sleeping?”
“I’m not sleeping.”
“Can I come up then?”
Before I could reply, she climbed up the ladder. Like last time, halfway up the ladder, she gently placed her hand on my head, looking worried.
“Why are you like this?”
“Weren’t you complaining about a headache?”
“No, I’m fine…”
I didn’t have a headache. I just lacked energy. I was bored. I was weary. I didn’t want to move.
“Has something bad happened? Is there anything I can help with? Do you want something to eat…?”
“Just… leave me alone.”
“What? I can’t hear you…”
“Shut up. Go away!”
Why does she keep bothering me like this?
I didn’t want to respond. I buried myself deeper under the blankets.
Through the blankets, I heard her voice, sounding dejected.
“I’m sorry, Rugilinn. I must have bothered you when you were tired. See you tomorrow.”
I heard her footsteps descend the ladder.
Only then did I realize my mistake. What had I said?
I cautiously peered out from under the bed. I met her troubled gaze.
At that moment, looking into those transparent blue eyes, a wave of embarrassment washed over me.
“I’m… sorry for being irritable.”
Hearing my apology, she smiled warmly.
“Sometimes when you’re too tired, it’s easy to get annoyed if someone talks to you. For today, just take a good rest.”
Lying back, I began to think.
I had no reason to be angry, yet I was getting irritated. Why was I like this lately?
We each pondered in silence, not exchanging a single word.
It wasn’t just because we were overworked.
It was like slowly getting wet from a drizzle.
No, it wasn’t just ‘fatigue’ that needed to be described. Why was that? There hadn’t been anything particularly bad…
-…I think I get why we, the others, feel this way.-
Clone 2, who had been lying still, finally spoke up.
-What is it?-
-How many times have we died so far?-
-I don’t know. I never counted…-
How many times have I died? How many times have I been hurt?
Attempting to retrace my thoughts and count, an overwhelming fatigue that couldn’t compare to what I felt now washed over me like a wave. My heart ached.
My arms trembled. My head throbbed. Before I knew it, my whole body was shaking.
Only then did I begin to understand.
I realized I hadn’t forgotten. I couldn’t forget.
-We’re remembering it, though. We didn’t realize it ourselves…-
We couldn’t help but agree with the words someone had shared.
I had died countless times.
In battles with monsters, I had my throat slit, my head blown off, crushed, and holes ripped through my chest. I had even been dragged amidst monsters and had my limbs torn off at times.
Experiencing my stomach being cut open and my insides spilling out, even with pain being dispersed, was bizarre. I had lost limbs more times than I could count.
Since gaining the ability to disperse pain, we had charged in more recklessly, and regardless of skill improvement, the rate of injuries kept increasing. It was because we didn’t feel pain. By this point, losing a finger or toe didn’t even count as injury.
Yet, it seemed to have imprinted itself in our hearts unconsciously.
Had I been breaking down?
Perhaps I had been just burying it away. Although separate from bodily pain, the feeling of a missing limb or blood pouring out quietly sapped my strength, and I didn’t want to recall it.
It was something I had never experienced before possession. For a normal social person, it should have been something they would rarely encounter in their lives.
-To be honest, we had no sense of purpose or will. But by treating our bodies so harshly, we lost motivation.-
-Sigh, should we take a break?-
-Yeah… Honestly, we’ve been too rough on our bodies. Let’s take some time off for now.-
That’s what we should do.
Since I realized I’m not invincible, I need to move my body more carefully. I should die and get hurt less.
Having understood the reason, a solution also emerged.
-For now, let’s skip school, slack off, and live like we’re here for sightseeing!-
-Yeah, now that we’re in a game. There’s no reason to live seriously, right? We’ve got enough money saved up. Let’s have some fun!-
A ray of light appeared in our hearts, shadowed with negativity, as a positive solution emerged.
-Let’s just play from now on! We should buy a game console, and install plenty of computers at home. There are lots of decent games here too!-
-Hehe! Let’s create a PC room!-
Thinking about it, perhaps the reason I was flustered was that I had become a girl.
Would I have thought more positively if I were still myself before possession?
Of course, in my former male life, I had never died or lost limbs.
Still, I proudly lived my life diligently. I was always busy with studies and job hunting.
Unfortunately, I often went straight to rejection after not even passing the document screening.
-Before I was possessed, wasn’t I heading to an interview?-
-Right, I applied for a temporary administrative position to utilize my major.-
Everyone chuckled quietly as they reminisced about the past. Back then, I never imagined I would die hitting an air conditioning unit.
-If I had known it would turn out like this, I should have prepared for the interview half-heartedly.-
-Yeah! Who goes to an interview with a rehearsed greeting? “Hello! I’m applicant number 10…,” Who was it? I can’t remember.-
-Are you an idiot? Applicant number 10…-
-Seriously, that’s our name…-
-Who? What do you mean? Our name is Violet.-
Everybody’s thoughts came to a halt. Suddenly, it slipped from their minds. What?
-Hey, why is everyone silent?-
Unit 1 slowly opened his mouth. Even he seemed caught in confusion.
What was it? Why could I not respond?
No, why was this happening?
The most essential thing seemed to escape my memory.
I recalled my life before the possession vividly.
I remembered what school I attended, what unit I enlisted in, and what I did after graduating. I remembered my likes, and I knew when my birthday was.
But this… I couldn’t remember. It was as if someone erased it.
-Our name is Violet…-
-No, idiot, not that. Our real name! What was it?-
-We’re Violet!-
-No, the name before Violet!-
We screamed in our minds. I couldn’t remember my name.
My name, what was it?
I couldn’t recall my name.
Why? Since when?
I knew I had forgotten something. But I thought it wasn’t a big deal. I remembered everything else.
But I couldn’t recall my name.
I am Violet. Violet’s correct.
But I had also been someone else. A South Korean male in his late twenties. That memory existed. Who was he?
“What was my name?”
Among all the things, I couldn’t remember my name.
Realization struck, and I paused.
Now I understood what I didn’t know.
“Oh…”
When I snapped back to reality, tears spilled from my eyes without me even realizing it.