ALL NOVEL Chapter 50
Late at night, a drunken party was underway in the lodging.
“Ugh…”
I want to get drunk.
I want to get drunk quickly.
I want to forget everything.
If I could, I would want to down bleach just to escape this feeling.
If only I could bleach my heart, turn this suffocating feeling into a pure white canvas and wipe it all clean, I would sell my soul right now.
“Hey… we’re the Violets, right? You are that Violet, aren’t you? You’re Unit 1?”
Unit 2 looked at Unit 1 with bloodshot eyes.
Unfortunately, Unit 1 couldn’t answer that. Unit 1’s memories were also those of the other Violets. I flipped through the pages of my thoughts countless times but simply realized that I couldn’t remember my name.
When did I start forgetting my name? Like discovering I’ve lost my wallet but not knowing where I dropped it.
“Did you forget right after the entrance ceremony?”
“No way.”
“Since the Research Laboratory? I don’t know. When exactly did we forget?”
The moment we realized our forgetfulness, we found ourselves trapped in a box of confusion. Recognizing that we had forgotten our names, a catastrophic suspicion that had been tucked away in a corner of our minds floated silently to the surface of our consciousness.
A suspicion arose among us.
“Are we really the existences we know?”
“What nonsense! We have Unit 1! Unit 1 proves our existence!”
“…Isn’t it just a delusion? We can’t even remember our names.”
“Maybe we just forgot for a bit…”
As Unit 2 trailed off, Unit 45, who had been downing vodka like water, couldn’t contain his anger and slammed the bottle to the ground.
-Clang!
“What the hell are you doing?”
“Forget? You fools! Get a grip! It’s not forgotten. It’s deleted! We tried deep breathing, discussions, and all manner of things, and still nothing comes to mind!”
“If we think of it differently…”
“Stop it! Think differently? From our ID cards to all our old memories, we’ve dug through everything!”
Unit 45 screamed. Some of us hung our heads, while the other clones silently gulped down their drinks. It felt like someone had maliciously brought an eraser to our memories, and our names vanished.
It would have been better if only the names had disappeared. Bitterly, I realized that along the way, several other memories had also vanished. The impressions of people I met over the twenty-plus years had blurred. Good or bad memories were hazy. If memories were a film, someone had maliciously cut it and haphazardly pasted it back together.
Should I consider it lucky that I still remember my parents’ names?
“…The memories of the army are still intact, even in this mess.”
Unit 3 forced a smile. We all managed a weak chuckle before swallowing more alcohol.
Unit 7 slowly opened his mouth.
“I don’t even know when it started. Was it right after the entrance ceremony when I died and came back to awaken a new unique ability? Or was it much earlier, when we were dragged to the Research Laboratory?”
“So you’re saying our existence is that of a bunch of delusional psychos thinking we’re guys? Wow, that’s impressive, and now there’s even a split personality involved.”
“We already concluded that discussion in the first meeting…”
“The assumptions made in the first meeting might need to be reevaluated from the point our memories became unreliable!”
“Aaaaargh!”
The Violets began to stir up a ruckus, each raising their alcohol bottles and cans. Unable to hold it in, my voice burst out.
“Everyone shut up!”
Unit 1, who had been sitting quietly, got up and shouted. After taking some time to calm down, the others finally quieted.
“There must be some other reason. Shall we review some past events? For example, let’s think back to right after we were possessed.”
“We went straight to the Research Laboratory right after being possessed. The goons dragged me away…”
“What happened after entering the Research Laboratory?”
“Well, I was lying down… there was this bright light… ugh!”
The headache I felt when having a nightmare struck me once more. I hurriedly used pain dispersal, but since all the Violets were suffering, it had little effect.
“Ugh… what the hell happened then?”
“I don’t know, those Laplacian bastards must have done something strange to us.”
Once we managed to escape from the pounding pain, we lost our motivation again. We emptied the alcohol left in our inventories and drank it all.
“There’s nothing we can do…”
My vision was spinning. The world was spinning. I felt a bit better. Comfortable. Sleepy…
***
Unit 1 staggered out of the lodging.
“Ugh…”
The effects of the alcohol consumed on an empty stomach were terrible. My stomach twisted uncontrollably, emptying its contents as if protesting.
After emptying my stomach bile in the outside restroom, when I turned back, Kalia was waiting at the door.
“Hey, Violet. I came to talk about what I asked you yesterday… Are you okay?”
“Hi, it’s nothing much…”
Just as I tried to open the door, Kalia grabbed me.
“What do you mean nothing much? Look at you! What… what’s that smell? Did you drink?”
“Hehe… just a bit?”
Kalia sniffed a few times and quickly caught on to my condition. Got caught.
“A bit? It looks like you drank a few bottles. What on earth did you do last night?”
Kalia pulled open the lodging’s main door. The rusty hinges squeaked, and light flooded in, illuminating the mess inside.
The Violets were sprawled out on the floor. Around them, alcohol bottles and beer cans lay strewn everywhere.
Kalia held her head in her hands.
“I’m going crazy. Did you throw some kind of feast?”
“No, I just wanted to drink a little…”
“Violet! Does this look like ‘a little’?”
With her arms crossed and glaring at me, Kalia entered the lodging without a chance for me to protest. She clapped her hands, channeling a bit of magical power. The noise like fireworks echoed inside.
“Alright, alright! Everyone wake up! Get up!”
“Ugh… my head…”
“This is a pigsty… Did you rob a liquor store or something? I know there are a lot of you, but what is this?”
She helped each of us who were staggering to our feet.
“Ugh… my stomach’s weird…”
“My head hurts…”
“I told you not to drink so much!”
The Violets were scolded.
After a while, we finally regained our senses after having a strange drink Kalia brought, which was supposed to cure hangovers. Just one cup, and in less than five minutes, I felt fine again. This is amazing. The technology in this world really feels more advanced than Earth’s.
Under Kalia’s watchful eye, we cleaned up the messy lodging. After finishing everything and having breakfast, we sat down to rest when I could feel her gaze examining us.
Why isn’t she leaving?
She spoke straightforwardly.
“…Violet, I sensed it last time too, but are you unwell? Did something bad happen at the academy?”
“No, nothing bad happened at school. Everything’s fine! I’m just…”
“Liar.”
I slowly tried to back away, but she gently grabbed my shoulder.
“I’ve sensed it since we were in the Research Laboratory; Violet, you show it on your face when you lie. Don’t mumble and just be honest with me. Was something bad at the academy? Did some jerk bully you?”
“That’s not it…”
“Hey, it’s alright. I don’t know who it was, but if it comes to it, I’ll go deal with that jerk myself. I’ll smash him…”
Kalia cracked her knuckles as if to show me. Bright, purplish flames similar to her hair surged from her fists. Seeing that made me want to smile.
“Hehe…”
“What? Why are you laughing?”
“It’s nothing, just grateful.”
We sat on a small sofa inside the lodging storage.
“Really, nothing bad happened at the academy, right? I didn’t expressly say it, but honestly, I was really worried about you at first. I thought you’d get involved with strange people at Awakener Academy or not adapt. You seem to be doing fine now, but…”
“Yes, I’m okay. It’s not because of the school.”
“Really, nothing at the academy happened?”
At her worried gaze, I pondered what to say. I didn’t know how to explain why I felt down, like maybe I had forgotten my real name.
“Just, I was a bit tired. I’ve been busy lately, you know? Hehe…”
“Well, if that’s the case…”
When I smiled and shrugged it off, Kalia’s expression stiffened for a moment before slowly relaxing again.
“Hey, Violet.”
“Yes?”
“I don’t know what’s troubling you. But if it really gets unbearable, or if something is tough, just tell me anytime, okay?”
She smiled slightly as if trying to reassure me.
Suddenly, I felt like doing something.
“Then, could you hug me for a moment?”
When I asked, Kalia hesitated briefly before opening her arms to embrace me. Since she was taller than me, it felt reassuring. Warm.
As I nestled in, the other clones were influenced too.
“Wait! Kalia! Why only hug Unit 1!”
“Me too! Hug me too!”
Other Violets who were watching Unit 1 staggered to their feet and surrounded Kalia. In no time, she was surrounded by us.
“Hey, hey! Violet…! No, what should I even call you guys?”
“Hug me! Hug me!”
“Alright! I’ll hug you all, so line up first.”
After hugging all the dozens of Violets, Kalia finally managed to step out of the lodging.
“…Don’t forget. If you need help, you must tell me. Got it?”
“Got it!”
“I will!”
The scars still remained in my heart, but being enfolded in someone’s arms calmed me down a bit.
Thank you, Kalia.
I can’t say it now, but one day, if I get the chance, I’ll spill everything honestly.