The Night Of The Untraced

Though it had been said in jest, both Seunghee and Muheun were serious. It seemed likely that even Seungtae and Muyeon would have reacted similarly if they’d heard it. After all, they had lived next door to each other since birth, and developing romantic feelings would have been the stranger outcome.In any case, Muheun found Seungjoo’s declaration of wanting to marry him so adorable that he continued to tease him about it afterward. One time, he even filmed a video on his phone where Seungjoo, looking thoroughly unenthused, muttered, “I want to marry hyung.” Watching the video made Muheun laugh, and Seunghee scolded him, as usual.Not long after that, Muheun’s father brought home a stray puppy he had found on the street. Since it was Seungjoo’s first time meeting a dog, he was initially scared of the unfamiliar creature (although he tried to hide it, it was obvious) and couldn’t even touch it. But later, just like Muheun had once treated him, Seungjoo came to adore Seolgi as though it were the most precious thing in the world.In the midst of these small daily events, it wasn’t just the baby Seungjoo who was growing up. Muyeong, who was the same age, Seungtae, Muyeon, and even the eldest children of both families, Seunghee and Muheun, were all maturing. As time passed, they were starting to experience romantic feelings.‘…You’re dating that person?’Then, in their second year of high school, Seunghee got a boyfriend. He was a fellow student at Haeyeon High School, and after falling for Seunghee, who was in the neighboring class, he had confessed to her out of the blue.‘Yeah, he said he thought I was dating you, so he couldn’t approach me.’‘There are still people who misunderstand that?’‘Yeah… It’s exhausting, Muheun.’It wasn’t really surprising. Seunghee was quite popular at school, and many boys hesitated to confess because of Muheun. Even though Muheun wasn’t particularly affectionate, just his presence seemed to intimidate them.‘So, we’re going on a date this weekend.’‘Hmm, I didn’t ask.’It didn’t matter to Muheun. More accurately, it wasn’t that it mattered—it was that he wasn’t interested. The romantic affairs of a friend who was practically family were something he’d rather not know about.However, that weekend, Seunghee took Seungjoo with her on the date. Her boyfriend had been curious about her ten-year-younger brother, but the real problem was that Muheun, who was left behind, suddenly found himself unbearably bored.Muheun had been looking forward to spending the weekend playing with Seungjoo all day. Not that he’d asked Seungjoo’s opinion, but with an eight-year-old, there wasn’t much to do except take Seolgi for a walk with Muyeong. He had been waiting all week for the weekend, only to suddenly have Seungjoo taken away.Muheun ended up walking an overly excited Seolgi twice, helped Muyeong with his homework, and then all three of them bathed together. This was because Seolgi had gotten them all soaked during the bath. As soon as the shower was done, Muyeong fell asleep with Seolgi in his arms. With Muyeon and Seungtae out for the day as well, the large living room felt unusually quiet.So, as the sun began to set, Muheun stood at the front gate, waiting for the two to return. Seunghee wasn’t one to stay out late, so it wasn’t long before he saw her walking down the alley, holding Seungjoo’s hand. Beside her was someone who seemed to be her boyfriend, but Muheun didn’t pay him any attention.‘Seungjoo.’‘Oh? Hyung’s here.’Seungjoo spotted Muheun and immediately ran towards him. The way he scampered was similar to how Seolgi would dart across the yard. Muheun stretched out his arms, waiting for Seungjoo to jump into them, but to his disappointment, Seungjoo stopped just short and stared up at him.‘Hyung, what are you doing here?’‘I was waiting for you, Seungjoo.’Without a care, Muheun grinned and hoisted Seungjoo into the air. Seungjoo struggled for a moment before wrapping his arms around Muheun’s neck with his usual pout. He didn’t seem to like being treated like a little kid, even though he still cried every time Muheun teased him.‘Did you have fun?’‘Hmm… I don’t know. Hyung, did you shower?’‘Yeah, why?’‘You smell nice.’Guess it wasn’t that fun. Muheun thought to himself as he adjusted Seungjoo. He’d grown a lot since before, but he still felt too small and light to Muheun.‘What’s Baek Seolgi doing?’‘Seolgi’s sleeping with Muyeong.’‘And the walk?’‘I already took him.’‘Really? But we were supposed to go together…’While the two chatted, Seunghee was saying goodbye to her boyfriend. The boyfriend kept glancing at Muheun, but Muheun didn’t even look his way. He had no intention of engaging with him—after all, it was Seungjoo he had been waiting for, not Seunghee.‘He barely spoke when he was with my boyfriend, but now look at him…’When Seunghee finally came over, Muheun was busy playfully asking Seungjoo for a kiss. Seungjoo shook his head, making Muheun grin as he pressed his lips against Seungjoo’s chubby cheek. Though he didn’t like giving kisses, Seungjoo didn’t seem to mind receiving them and didn’t push Muheun away.‘Why’d you take such a shy kid with you, anyway?’‘It’s not like I forced him. Seungjoo said he wanted to go too.’‘Still…’If she was going on a date, she should have gone alone. Why was she taking someone else’s little brother without permission? Of course, Seungjoo was technically Seunghee’s brother, not Muheun’s, but it felt just like having his own younger sibling taken away.‘Next time, don’t go and just play with me. Hyung was lonely without our Seungjoo,’ Muheun said, rubbing his nose against Seungjoo’s soft cheeks. The child’s fluffy scent helped calm his mood. After kissing the top of Seungjoo’s head repeatedly, Seunghee scoffed, saying that next time she should take Muyeong instead of Seungjoo.Despite that, Seunghee still took Seungjoo with her to meet friends a few more times afterward. Each time, Muheun waited for Seungjoo in front of the gate, and shortly after those outings, Seunghee would always break up with her boyfriend.When Muheun casually asked if she’d broken up again, Seunghee replied in exasperation.‘It’s because of you.’‘Me?’‘Yeah, you.’Muheun blinked in confusion at the sudden accusation. How had he contributed to Seunghee breaking up with her boyfriend? He wondered if their friendship had caused problems again, but Seunghee sighed dramatically, speaking in a frustrated tone.‘You keep waiting in front of the house, so they think you have a crush on me.’‘…Me, like you?’‘Yeah, you, liking me…’Seunghee’s face looked utterly exhausted, as if she’d been plagued by this for a while. Her expression crumpled with irritation, and her shoulders trembled as though the very idea was unbearable.‘Even if I tell them I’m waiting for my brother, they don’t believe me. Do you know what they say? They ask why a high schooler would spend time playing with such a little kid.’‘Didn’t they want to see Seungjoo too?’‘Exactly. But it turns out they were just pretending to care because he’s my brother.’‘Oh…’If it had just been jealousy, Muheun might have felt a little sorry. But using Seungjoo as an excuse to get close to Seunghee—now that was infuriating. If Seunghee had offered to show him off, that would be one thing, but pretending to be kind while using Seungjoo left a bitter taste in his mouth.‘Why do you date such petty guys?’‘Ugh, that’s why I broke up with them. Even Seungjoo didn’t like them, you know.’Children were always more sensitive to emotions, so Seungjoo had probably picked up on the fact that Seunghee’s boyfriends didn’t genuinely care about him. Seungjoo, who had been showered with plenty of love, wouldn’t have enjoyed spending time with those people.‘Why don’t you just stop dating, like me?’‘Why don’t you stop playing with Seungjoo and start dating? What are you going to do if Seungjoo gets a girlfriend before you?’Muheun responded to the teasing remark with an equally playful retort. He was about to casually say that it wouldn’t matter if Seungjoo got a girlfriend, but suddenly, he felt his vision blur, and his words caught in his throat. As his dark eyes momentarily lost focus, a scene flashed before him like an afterimage.‘……’It was an image of Seungjoo, wearing a school uniform, standing face to face with someone. He looked much taller and more masculine than he did now, gazing down at the other person with an awkward expression. His flushed ears felt strangely out of place, and a wave of discomfort suddenly washed over Muheun.‘Kim Muheun?’‘…Oh.’Muheun snapped back to reality, blinking as he regained his focus. Seunghee was looking at him knowingly, as if she understood.‘Did you see something weird again?’It was a glimpse of the future, something Muheun occasionally experienced. It would come out of nowhere, without any warning, during the most mundane moments of his daily life. These weren’t guaranteed to happen—they were just one of many possible futures.‘Not really…’Muheun drew out his words, frowning slightly. He hadn’t had one of these visions in a while, so he couldn’t understand why such a pointless scene had appeared at that moment. What made him even more uncomfortable was the surge of negative emotions he’d felt in that brief instant.‘If Seungjoo gets a girlfriend, then he gets a girlfriend.’As much as he adored Seungjoo, it was purely as a little brother. If anything, it was a feeling similar to how one would care for their own child. So, Seungjoo getting into a relationship wasn’t something that should bother him. At most, he’d feel a bit lonely if Seungjoo stopped playing with him as much.‘I’m not that kind of overprotective Hyung.’‘What are you talking about? You’re totally like a strict teacher.’Seunghee shot back immediately, even snorting at Muheun. She didn’t seem interested in prying into the future Muheun had seen, as usual. No matter how trivial it was, they both knew that speaking it out loud might jinx it.‘Anyone would think Seungjoo was your child.’‘Right? Maybe I should’ve been the one to have him.’Muheun playfully shrugged in response. It was half a joke, but the other half was surprisingly sincere. Of course, it was the kind of thing that would make their aunt roll her eyes in disbelief.‘By the way, Seunghee.’‘…What, why?’Seunghee frowned at his subtle remark, sensing something ominous. Muheun gave a leisurely smile, his eyes crinkling with amusement.‘Isn’t it about time we stop dating?’They were soon to become third-year high school students, and like most students preparing for university, they had to focus on their college entrance exams. While neither of them came from families where getting into college was crucial, they still had goals, and it wasn’t exactly the right time to be dating.‘You said you’d go to Korea University with me.’They had made a promise when they entered high school to attend Korea University together. The reason was simple: before living extraordinary lives, they wanted to experience normalcy as much as possible. Though Muheun didn’t care much, Seunghee, with her strong competitive spirit, had insisted they aim for the best university.‘You need to raise your grades.’‘Wow, nagging already… Aren’t you safe anyway?’Seunghee’s face scrunched up slightly at Muheun’s blatantly annoying tone. Unlike Muheun, who was comfortably within the top three of their grade, Seunghee barely made it into the top five. Her grades weren’t bad by any means, but she wasn’t as secure as Muheun.‘You’re being ridiculous. Why do you study so hard when you’ll just end up catching ghosts anyway?’‘You’re one to talk.’It seemed ridiculous to criticize each other when they were both working hard despite knowing that their future careers wouldn’t require academic success. As the family’s heir, it was Seunghee’s role to continue the family’s business, which didn’t require any fancy degrees, much like Muheun’s situation.With a groan, Seunghee spoke up, sounding less than confident.‘Hey… Are you thinking of lowering your standards?’‘Do you think I would?’The truth was, he had considered it, but he threw the question back at her, knowing full well Seunghee would be the one unwilling to compromise. The only reason Muheun was studying at all was to go to university with her.Seunghee seemed lost in thought for a while, her expression serious. In that moment, she bore a striking resemblance to Seungjoo. The single-lidded eyes and sharp features were trademarks of the Seo family.After watching her for a while, Muheun saw Seunghee nod with determination.‘Alright, just watch. I’m going to raise my grades.’‘I’m looking forward to it.’She was the type to follow through on any resolution she made, and Muheun knew that well. That was why he had provoked her in the first place. He didn’t care much about university, but before joining the Association, he wanted to create a few more memories.Her declaration to improve her grades wasn’t empty talk; from that day forward, Seunghee devoted herself entirely to studying. By the time their second semester of sophomore year ended, her rank had risen significantly, and they had even discussed which department to apply to. When Seunghee boasted, asking if Muheun hadn’t doubted her, he simply smiled and complimented her determination.And so, they entered their third year of high school.***When Seunghee and Seungtae were born, everyone had said the same thing: neither child would live to see their twentieth birthday. To outsiders, it sounded like a cruel curse, but for the Seo family, it was just an inevitable truth.The family had always been destined for short lives. From the moment they were born, they lived with death looming over them. There had been several accidents during their childhood, and each time, more talismans were stuck to the walls of the house next door. Unbeknownst to them, they always had at least three bodyguards. But as they grew older, their fate seemed to gradually stabilize.When Seunghee turned nineteen, Seungtae eighteen, and their youngest brother Seungjoo turned nine, the shadow that had loomed over Seunghee and Seungtae began to lift. If they could just make it through one more year, Seunghee might escape her cursed fate.The belief was that those who didn’t live past twenty would begin a new life if they crossed that threshold. The curse, passed down for generations, wasn’t perfect, and the Seo family had survived so far because of their sheer will to live.So they believed they could defy fate as well.‘Where are you going?’‘To a movie premiere. You know the one Seungtae kept begging to see.’It was a holiday for Haeyeon High School, and the four students who attended were off for the day. Seungjoo and Muyeong hadn’t come back from elementary school yet, and Seunghee had come over while Muheun was training in the annex.The moment Seunghee mentioned the movie premiere, Muheun knew exactly which movie she was talking about.‘Ah… Did you get tickets?’‘Yeah. I think Seungtae was originally going with Muyeon, but he has something to do at school today.’Muheun remembered hearing that Muyeon had found something strange under a tree at school. He had told him not to touch it and to report it to his parents, but his curiosity must have gotten the better of him. As Muheun debated whether to call him, Seunghee shrugged and added:‘And it’s not like you’re interested in that kind of thing…’She was right. Muheun wasn’t the type to sit through two hours of a movie. He’d watched videos of Seungjoo on repeat, but he had no interest in fabricated stories. Whenever Seunghee cried over a sad movie, Muheun would be the one idly scrolling on his phone, bored out of his mind.‘At first, I asked my friends to go with me, but they all declined because it’s a romance movie. They said, ‘What’s the fun in watching a romance with a bunch of guys?’ But since I wanted to see it too…’Having spent all that time studying without a break, Seunghee seemed excited about this rare outing. Even though Muheun showed little interest, Seunghee continued to share all the details unprompted, as if eager to talk about it.‘So I’m meeting him at the station. Seungtae left early to stop by somewhere.’‘Sounds fun.’‘Wow, I can hear the enthusiasm in your voice,’ Seunghee said with a laugh, lightly punching Muheun’s shoulder. It was a familiar, casual touch, but as soon as Seunghee’s hand made contact, a scene flashed before Muheun’s eyes. Through the hazy vision, he saw Seunghee lying on the ground, surrounded by people.‘…Hey.’Muheun suddenly muttered, grabbing Seunghee’s wrist tightly. The strange sense of unease quickly turned into a feeling of impending danger, gripping Muheun by the neck. Seunghee paused, looking up at Muheun in surprise, their eyes locking.‘Seunghee, you…’But Muheun couldn’t bring himself to say anything more. Just as he tried to speak, a worry he had never been able to shake surged up, stopping him.‘…’What if saying it out loud made it come true? What if the mere mention of it caused something even worse than what he had seen to happen? Maybe if he just left things alone, everything would pass without incident. What if his interference only made things worse?It wasn’t the first time Muheun had seen a future where someone got hurt. Since childhood, he had seen countless futures, most of which had come true. A few, however, had deviated in minor ways, and sometimes, nothing like what he had seen happened at all. In those cases, he would silently breathe a sigh of relief.‘When’s he coming?’Maybe this time too, it was just a future that wouldn’t happen. Maybe his worry was for nothing, and if he just let it be, it would turn out to be an unfounded concern.‘Dunno. Probably before sunset?’‘…Okay.’Muheun forced himself to act natural, releasing Seunghee’s wrist. He hadn’t grabbed too hard, but Seunghee instinctively rubbed the spot where Muheun had held her. Watching that small gesture only made the unease in Muheun’s chest grow stronger.‘You have two tickets?’‘Yeah, two.’Maybe I should just go with her. It wasn’t as though the thought hadn’t crossed Muheun’s mind. He didn’t have a ticket, but he could wait outside while they watched the movie.But he couldn’t bring himself to suggest it. After all, who knew how things might change once he got involved? When he had seen a future where Seungtae got hurt playing basketball, Muheun had casually suggested he play soccer instead, only for an even worse accident to happen. While it hadn’t been entirely Muheun’s fault, he couldn’t say he was blameless either.‘Why? Do you want to come? Aren’t you supposed to pick up the kids later?’Seunghee asked, tilting her head in confusion. She was right—Muheun had promised to pick up Seungjoo and Muryeong after school, even pinky swearing on it with Seungjoo. The kids weren’t exactly counting on him, but if he didn’t go, they would be a little disappointed.‘Muheun.’Seunghee’s voice softened as she looked at Muheun, who remained silent. Seunghee must have sensed something too. Just as Muheun understood Seunghee well, Seunghee knew Muheun. They had never explicitly talked about it, but as his closest friend, Seunghee understood him better than anyone.‘Should I just not go?’‘…’Muheun wanted to say yes, to tell Seunghee not to go anywhere, to stay home for the time being, and to stick close to him wherever they went.But he couldn’t say it. As soon as the words formed in his mind, he thought of Seungtae’s eager face, and of how excited Seunghee had been just a moment ago, talking about the movie she was looking forward to. The outing could easily be canceled with a word from Muheun, but he wasn’t sure it was right to disappoint Seunghee like that.Muheun knew all too well how narrow their world had become, how much they had already given up. Seunghee had never been on a school trip, and after dark, neither of them ever set foot outside. Their lives were already so confined that Muheun couldn’t bear to impose even more restrictions based on an uncertain future.‘…Just be careful. Don’t walk near the road.’Though he hesitated, his answer remained the same. It’ll be fine, he thought. They have talismans with them. They’re with bodyguards, and it’s rare to encounter spirits during the day. The chances of running into one were almost nonexistent. Besides, Seunghee and Seungtae were both cautious people. They’d stick to safe paths.‘Am I a kid? You should be saying that to the little ones.’‘Seungtae’s still a kid to me.’‘Look at his height.’Seunghee grimaced at Muheun’s comment, then pulled out her phone to check the time. It seemed like she was about to leave. She gave Muheun a quick glance before turning around.‘Alright, I’m off then.’With that, Seunghee walked toward the front gate, waving playfully at Muheun before stepping outside. Muheun stood there silently, unable to call out or stop her, watching as the gate closed behind her.That was the last time Muheun saw Seunghee.They said it was an accident. Although I didn’t hear the exact details, I did hear that the ominous energy of an evil spirit lingered thickly at the scene. In broad daylight, no less, on a roadside crowded with people. A future I had desperately hoped would never come to pass had become a reality.In the future Muheun had seen, only Seunghee was there, but in the real-life tragedy, Seungtae was with her. The two of them, who passed away on the same day, never returned to the house with the protective talisman on the door.The tragic news that came out of nowhere turned not just the neighboring house, but even Muheun’s own household upside down.‘Seunghee, Seungtae…’Day and night, the sound of crying could be heard, while some were too stunned to even cry. Even those closely associated with death could not remain composed in the face of the loss of someone dear. The devastation was so unspeakable that no one dared to offer comfort.There was no funeral. They didn’t perform ancestral rites in the first place, and their deaths were far too tragic. Until Seunghee and Seungtae were laid to rest in the grave, their parents did nothing but call out their names endlessly.In the midst of all this, Muheun couldn’t bring himself to do anything. He couldn’t cry like their parents, couldn’t stay by their side like his own parents, couldn’t swallow his tears like Muyeon, and couldn’t grieve quietly like Muryeong and Seungjoo. He just stood there, a step removed, as though he were a stranger, watching everything unfold.‘…’It felt unreal. Every moment seemed to pass in slow motion, as if time had stopped. His mind went blank, and when he closed his eyes, he felt like he was slipping away into nothingness. At some point, even breathing became difficult, though he didn’t feel exactly suffocated.It was like slowly drowning in still water. He didn’t feel pain, but there was a vague sense of suffocation. His stomach churned, his fingertips turned cold, and it wouldn’t have been surprising if he lost his mind just standing there.‘Hyung.’What snapped Muheun out of it was Seungjoo, who had approached silently. Seungjoo, with tear-stained eyes, tugged on Muheun’s sleeve with his small hand and looked up at him. After hesitating for a long time, unsure of what to say, Seungjoo finally spoke.‘…Should I give you a hug?’Though clumsy, it was the exact question Muheun needed at that moment. Amidst everyone consumed by their own grief, no one had been able to offer words of comfort. The words were so precious and heart-wrenching that as soon as Muheun heard them, his composure crumbled.‘Yeah… please hug me.’Muheun knelt down as if he might collapse and tightly embraced the small body. With trembling hands, he wrapped his arms around Seungjoo’s shoulders and buried his face in the boy’s quivering hair. The warm body of the little child seemed to gently thaw Muheun’s frozen body.Though Seungjoo was only nine years old, he was old enough to understand what death meant. The fact that he would never see his brother and sister again must have been a shock to the young Seungjoo as well. Even so, Seungjoo had tried to comfort Muheun because, in the little boy’s eyes, Muheun must have looked dangerously fragile.‘Don’t cry, hyung.’It was actually Seungjoo who was crying, not Muheun. The words ‘don’t cry’ came only after tears had soaked his face. And yet, something about those words caused Muheun’s lips to quiver with emotion.‘Seungjoo… Hyung…’Muheun started to speak, but couldn’t continue for a long time. It wasn’t because Seungjoo was just a little kid, but because Muheun felt like if he said anything more, he too would break down into tears. When he finally managed to speak, his voice was rough and cracked from emotion.‘…Hyung told them to go.’At those blunt words, Seungjoo gave no response. He just sniffled and hugged Muheun’s back tighter. Muheun clenched his eyes shut, pulling Seungjoo closer as he whispered.‘I told them to go, so they went.’I should’ve told them not to go. I should’ve told them to be careful of the road, and not added anything else. I should’ve grabbed Seunghee and pretended I hadn’t seen anything, then called Seungtae back so we could all watch a movie at home.‘Hyung was stupid…’The thoughts that flooded his mind were more emotional than rational. These were things he hadn’t said to anyone, things he couldn’t say to anyone. Even though he knew it was a situation beyond his control, he couldn’t stop blaming himself, wondering if there was really nothing he could have done.‘…I’m sorry.’It wasn’t just an apology to Seungjoo. It was an apology to Seunghee, who he couldn’t hold back, to Seungtae, who shared her fate, and to everyone else who had lost someone dear.‘I’m so sorry, really…’Seungjoo didn’t respond, only tightened his grip on Muheun’s clothes. Though Muheun’s shoulder grew damp, he still couldn’t shed a single tear. The only thing he could do was continue to apologize while holding Seungjoo, trying to comfort him the best he could.‘Muheun.’A few weeks later, the lady from next door came to see Muheun. Since Muheun had been intentionally avoiding the neighbors, it had been a long time since they faced each other. The lady spoke calmly, perhaps sensing something from the way Muheun couldn’t even meet her eyes.‘Did you know, Muheun?’‘…’It was the same question she had asked once before, before Seungjoo was born. As expected, Muheun couldn’t answer, and the lady simply stared at him quietly. Unable to withstand her gaze, Muheun lowered his head, and then a cautious hand reached out to hold his.‘…It’s been hard, hasn’t it?’Her gentle words were not meant to blame Muheun in any way. Despite her own pain, she forced a smile that was as kind and gentle as always. When Muheun remained silent, the lady’s voice softened even more.‘I’m sorry.’Hearing her apology made Muheun feel incredibly ashamed. He hadn’t expected her to blame him, but he also hadn’t imagined she would be so understanding.‘I didn’t think it through.’‘…’‘How hard it must have been for our Muheun.’Perhaps she already knew. Perhaps she understood why Muheun had been avoiding her. Maybe she had even heard from sharp-eyed Seungjoo about what Muheun had said.‘It’s not your fault.’Her tone was firm yet clear, and there was no lie in her gaze. The warmth of her hand was so overwhelming that Muheun had to struggle to suppress the sudden surge of emotion.‘No one is at fault.’She was someone who had already lost many family members. Though she had siblings, she was the only one left. She herself had faced death several times and had only escaped the fate of an early death after she turned twenty.‘That’s just fate.’Fate is something that can easily be changed. It’s the very thing that changes countless times in life. Fate can be swayed by the smallest factors, and even what seems certain can end up wrong.‘So don’t be like that, Muheun.’No one blamed Muheun, but despite that, he couldn’t shake the guilt. It was because of the memories that only he knew, memories that constantly tormented him. Even as he pretended to live a normal life, the thought of ‘What if?’ continuously gnawed at him.Then one day, Seungjoo fell and hurt his knee badly on his way home from school. When Muheun heard that Seungjoo was injured, it felt like the sky was crashing down on him. Even though he knew it wasn’t something to be so anxious about, he still wandered around the alley where Seungjoo had fallen, checking if there were any traces of an evil spirit left behind.Fortunately, it turned out that Seungjoo’s fall was just a simple mistake. Even though Seungjoo promised not to fall again, the uneasy feeling didn’t go away easily. It wasn’t like Seungjoo was too young to walk, but seeing him on his feet made him seem unsteady. Even though Seungjoo wasn’t the type to recklessly run into the road, Muheun couldn’t calm down unless he had him in his arms.‘Seungjoo, come to hyung.’For a while, Muheun obsessively carried Seungjoo around. He knew it was overprotective, but it felt like he would lose his mind if he didn’t do it. Eventually, he had to stop because Seungjoo hated it so much, but if Seungjoo hadn’t protested, he would have done it for years.Of course, Muheun’s obsession didn’t end there. He insisted on taking Seungjoo wherever he went, even when it was just next door. Eventually, Seungjoo, who had been going along with it, became annoyed enough to speak up.‘I can go home by myself.’He seemed upset at being treated like a child, but unfortunately, that wasn’t the real reason. Muheun forced a casual smile, but inside, he was filled with unspeakable anxiety.‘Hyung just wants to spend more time with you, that’s all.’In truth, he couldn’t bear to watch Seungjoo’s back as he walked out the gate. Even knowing that Seungjoo was only going next door, Muheun couldn’t shake the feeling that something terrible would happen if he let him go alone. The slowly closing gate, and the sight of Seungjoo disappearing from view—it all overlapped with the memory of Seunghee from that day.Of course, Muheun didn’t tell anyone all of this. He knew it was an overreaction, and it was ultimately something he had to overcome on his own. Rather than spreading his guilt, it was better to remain as just a slightly eccentric older brother.He didn’t go to college. He hadn’t planned to, and his only motivation, his friend, had passed away. Upon graduation, Muheun became an exorcist affiliated with the association, left his family home as per the family rules, and moved into a dormitory.When he moved unexpectedly, Seungjoo expressed his disappointment, but all Muheun could say was:‘Don’t cry because you miss your brother, Seungjoo.’‘…I don’t cry over things like that.’‘Really? I feel like I might cry because I’ll miss you.’He said it jokingly, but it was nothing but the truth. He felt bad for the rest of his family, but the one he’d miss the most after leaving home would be Seungjoo. The recent closeness they had only deepened the sense of emptiness.Maybe he should have gone to college. That way, he could have stayed by Seungjoo’s side for four more years.He thought about it a few times with a bit of regret, but even then, Muheun didn’t change his decision. Even without considering all the previous reasons, he felt he needed to let go of his unhealthy obsession with Seungjoo. He thought that time would ease his anxiety, but even as the years passed, the sight of Seungjoo still filled him with unease.For the next few months, he was incredibly busy. Despite not yet being assigned to a team, there was no shortage of work, and he often found himself nodding off in the middle of writing talismans because there wasn’t enough time to sleep. It wasn’t until later that Muheun realized the association, impressed by his abilities, had intentionally given him extra work.Not that it mattered. He preferred exhausting himself with work rather than leaving any time for idle thoughts. That’s also why he took on tasks that weren’t necessarily his responsibility when he had a moment to breathe.But not long after, his father, an executive at the association, passed away. It was from overwork, clearly a result of negligence by the association. His mother didn’t share the full details, but since Muheun worked in the same field, he had an idea of what had happened.The association prioritized the safety of the living. But at some point, those in charge became like merchants, blinded by profit, sometimes neglecting precious lives. His father had clearly been harmed trying to clean up after one of their mistakes.‘Muheun, never get used to death.’When his mother said this during a late-night visit to the family home, Muheun didn’t quite understand what she meant. It wasn’t something you said right after someone’s passing, and she had probably consoled his younger siblings with assurances that death wasn’t the end. But why had she said this to him? He couldn’t quite grasp it at the time, though he did understand that her words came from a place of concern.It wasn’t until much later that Muheun understood her words. By then, he had become an official Gwimae hunter, sealing Gwimae and destroying countless evil spirits in the process. It was during one of these missions that a teammate, irritated, muttered:‘If you’re going to die, just die quietly. Why be such a bother…’Muheun didn’t consider himself a saint, so he had no intention of reprimanding his teammate for the complaint. What startled him, however, was that he found himself agreeing with the sentiment.Constantly facing death made you feel like you were becoming something other than human. In the beginning, he felt devastated every time he saw a soul, but somewhere along the way, he stopped feeling anything at all. And when he realized how numb he’d become, a sense of dread crept in, as though he might lose himself.It made him understand why people self-harm. When something breaks or hurts, it finally reminds you that you’re still alive. It makes you realize once again just how terrible death is, forcing you to confront the forgotten horror.But the wounds never lasted long. They would heal within a day, leaving him feeling more monstrous. He couldn’t get drunk, and smoking only provided the briefest relief. His unnaturally healthy body made it difficult to become addicted to anything.So he pierced his ears. And then, he got a tattoo. He needed proof that he was still alive. He felt that only by engraving something permanent would he avoid losing himself. Focusing on the marks on his body allowed him to regain some clarity.But perhaps because of this unstable state of mind, his body began to show abnormal reactions. On nights when the full moon rose, his spiritual energy would go haywire, leaving him in an unstable state. When he entered a heightened state of awareness, his senses sharpened, but he occasionally lost control. It wasn’t uncommon for him to give in to reckless impulses, and there were times when he nearly killed Gwimae instead of sealing them.Sometimes he would act aggressively, though thankfully he had never harmed anyone. He would just wake up in a strange place with no memory of how he got there.Muheun never told his family about the changes he was going through. He didn’t want to make them worry, and he believed he could handle it on his own. Plus, a part of him didn’t want to show them that he was struggling.About a year and a half after joining the association, Muheun finally returned to his family home. He hadn’t seen his siblings since his father passed, so it had been quite some time.He wondered how much they’d grown. The curiosity gnawed at him the entire way home, especially about Seungjoo. The little boy, small and light for his age, had surely grown. Muheun had always thought Seungjoo was lagging behind his peers in height, especially compared to their other siblings, Seunghee and Seungtae, who were tall.When Muheun arrived, he petted Seolgi and waited at the gate for Muryeong and Seungjoo to return. Muryeong had entered college, so she was expected to come home around evening.‘Time’s going by so slowly…’The wait for his siblings felt unnaturally long. He was anxious and restless. After all, even while he was busy working, he would think of Seungjoo from time to time. Having bottled up his longing for so long, he was nearing his limit. Seunghee might’ve joked that Muheun acted as though Seungjoo was his own child.‘Oh? It’s Hyung!’Muryeong, who had sharp eyesight, spotted Muheun from the end of the street and shouted in excitement. As soon as Muheun turned to look, he saw Seungjoo walking beside her, and the sight left him momentarily speechless.‘…Hello.’Muheun would never forget that awkward greeting, or how Seungjoo bowed slightly as if greeting a stranger. Unlike Muryeong, who ran up to him and clung to his waist, Seungjoo kept his distance, fidgeting shyly.‘…’He hadn’t expected Seungjoo to run into his arms, but he didn’t expect such a distant reaction either. Even though he knew that time felt longer for children, Muheun had naively assumed Seungjoo would have remained unchanged. The disappointment was overwhelming, and all he could manage was a strained smile.‘You’ve grown so much, Seungjoo.’When did you get so tall? Muryeong hadn’t changed much, but Seungjoo had shot up in the time they hadn’t seen each other. He was no longer smaller than his peers, and he didn’t rush into Muheun’s arms like he used to. Though still young, Muheun sensed that if he treated Seungjoo like a baby, the boy would truly dislike it.Muheun left the family home after just two days, and for a while after, he focused solely on his work. Of course, he was busy, but to be honest, he also didn’t have the heart to face Seungjoo. Having been the one to leave first, Muheun feared that if they met again, he wouldn’t be able to hide his own feelings of guilt.They say kids grow up quickly, and just like that, Seungjoo shot up in the blink of an eye. Every time Muheun visited the family home, about every six months, Seungjoo’s height would change noticeably.By the time Seungjoo was graduating from elementary school, he was already over 170cm tall and strong enough to carry their younger brother, Muryeong, on his back. The affectionate ‘hyung-ah’ Seungjoo used to call Muheun had turned into a more casual ‘hyung,’ and the informal speech Seungjoo used had gradually shifted to awkward formal language. The once small, potato-like child had grown and was now entering adolescence.Then, when Seungjoo was in his second year of middle school and Muheun was twenty-five, Muheun had covered his wrist with tattoos out of habit, and his left ear now had five piercings.‘Muryeong.’It was the day Muheun visited the family home again, waiting outside the gate for his siblings to come home. Only Muryeong, in a school uniform, returned. Unlike Seungjoo, who had shot up quickly, Muryeong’s growth had slowed down, and he still seemed a bit small for a middle schooler in his second year.‘Where’s Seungjoo?’Muheun wondered why their youngest hadn’t grown as much. Glancing at the empty space beside Muryeong, he casually asked. After all, they had walked home together almost every day since kindergarten. Muheun figured maybe Seungjoo had some school duty, but Muryeong’s answer was unexpected.‘Seungjoo is on a date today.’‘…A date?’‘Yeah, with his girlfriend.’For a moment, Muheun couldn’t comprehend what Muryeong was saying. A date? A girlfriend? He had never once had a conversation about such things with his much younger brother. After a long pause, Muheun realized that the real shock wasn’t about the date itself.‘…Seungjoo has a girlfriend?’ The chapters have been revised, edited, and compressed, and the complete main story has been released for free, as I’m concerned it might be taken down or worse. I didn’t want to disappoint the readers, so I apologize for any inconvenience, and I hope you enjoy reading the complete story! The side stories will be coming soon, so don't worry~