The Night Of The Untraced

Though Seungjoo seemed more mature than his peers, Muheun still felt he wasn’t old enough to be in a relationship. Seungjoo didn’t seem completely like a child, but there was still an air of youth about him—what could he possibly know about having a girlfriend?‘Seungjoo’s really popular. They’ve been dating for about a month now,’ Muryeong casually added.Muheun let out a disbelieving chuckle, but Muryeong didn’t seem to care. He continued, saying that Seungjoo gets confessed to a lot, has many female friends, and so on. As Muheun listened, a memory of something Seunghee once said popped into his head:‘What if Seungjoo gets a girlfriend?’Back then, Muheun had casually responded that if it happens, it happens, and confidently declared he wasn’t the type of older brother to be conservative about such things. Even though he was close to Seungjoo, he had no right to interfere in his brother’s love life. Yet now that it was a reality, he found himself inexplicably annoyed.Mulling over Muryeong’s words, Muheun eventually took their dog, Seolgi, for a walk as the sun began to set. Seungjoo still hadn’t returned, and sitting around idly only filled his mind with unnecessary thoughts. He felt overly petty, so he needed to move around to shake it off.As they rounded the neighborhood and were heading home, Seolgi suddenly sniffed toward the playground. It wasn’t unusual for the dog to stop and sniff during walks, but this time, Seolgi suddenly barked and pulled at the leash.‘What’s wrong, Seolgi? What’s over there?’Seolgi, who couldn’t even see ghosts, was acting strangely, but Muheun didn’t think much of it. They say a dog can learn a thing or two after three years in a Confucian school, but even after growing up in a family of exorcists, Seolgi hadn’t developed spiritual sight.There was no rush, and if Seolgi wanted to go there, there was no reason to refuse. So Muheun slowly followed, letting Seolgi lead the way, wagging her tail enthusiastically.When they reached the playground, Muheun stopped in his tracks upon spotting two students in school uniforms.‘…’A girl was sitting on a swing, and a boy stood in front of her. The girl playfully tugged at the boy’s arm, and the boy bent toward her as if giving in. It was an undeniably sweet and adorable scene. The problem was that the boy’s face looked all too familiar.Just as Muheun hesitated, the boy, sensing someone nearby, turned his head toward them.‘…Hyung?’It was Seungjoo. His monolid eyes, the dark brown pupils, and even his slightly surprised expression—all unmistakably Seungjoo. Seungjoo, looking flustered, quickly straightened up and stammered.‘Hyung, what are you doing here…?’How should Muheun describe the feeling he had at that moment? His mood sank, and he couldn’t even muster a greeting. Seolgi was squirming, trying to get to Seungjoo, but Muheun stood frozen, unable to move.‘Seungjoo, is that someone you know…?’It was a scene Muheun had foreseen back when Seunghee mentioned Seungjoo possibly getting a girlfriend. Seungjoo, in his school uniform, standing face-to-face with a girl. Though he didn’t expect that Seungjoo’s blushing would be from almost getting kissed, he had imagined he would see something like this one day.‘Ah… that’s Kim Muryeong’s Hyung.’Seungjoo awkwardly blocked his girlfriend from view as he answered. Although it was true, Muheun couldn’t shake off the sting he felt from it. Was it the distant tone? Or the sense of unfamiliarity in Seungjoo’s explanation?‘Why are you here, hyung?’ Seungjoo asked again.Once more, Muheun felt an inexplicable pang of disappointment. He was probably just asking why Muheun wasn’t at the association, but the question felt like something you’d ask an unwelcome guest interrupting a date.Of course, he couldn’t let that show, so Muheun forced a casual smile and responded as maturely as possible.‘It’s my day off, so I came home. Is this your girlfriend?’‘Oh! Hello!’The girl stood up to greet him. She was a head shorter than Seungjoo, with a bob that barely reached her chin, and her round eyes gave her a cute, middle schooler-like appearance. Flustered, she introduced herself and then whispered to Seungjoo in a lowered voice.‘If he’s Muryeong’s brother… is that Seolgi?’‘Yeah, it’s Seolgi.’‘Oh my gosh, so cute… Do you think I can pet her?’‘Sure, Seolgi would love it.’Seungjoo replied while glancing at Muheun. Knowing that Muheun had extraordinary hearing, he must have felt a bit awkward talking about it right in front of him. When Muheun tilted his head, pretending not to have heard, Seungjoo awkwardly nudged his girlfriend with his eyes.‘Hyung, she wants to pet Seolgi.’‘Is it okay if I pet her… just once?’It was a polite request, and there was no reason to refuse. As Seungjoo said, Seolgi loved being petted by anyone. When Muheun nodded, giving permission, the girl crouched down excitedly.‘Hey, you’re wearing a skirt…’‘It’s fine. I have gym shorts on underneath.’Their playful bickering sounded just like something kids their age would do. Seeing Seungjoo interact with his girlfriend like this was a first for Muheun. In some ways, Seungjoo seemed like himself, but there was a subtle difference. Though his voice sounded indifferent, there was a hint of a smile in his tone, and when their eyes met, he would bashfully squint.Was this what parents felt like when they saw their grown children? Along with an inexplicable sense of emptiness, a strange feeling settled over Muheun. His heart felt tangled up, his expression kept shifting oddly, and he couldn’t help but wonder when Seungjoo had grown up so much, right before his eyes.He let out a sigh and finally said, ‘Let’s go. You said you had to go to your academy.’After the student had her fill of petting Seolgi, Seungjoo helped his girlfriend up. Though Seolgi whimpered as if not wanting them to leave, Seungjoo just chuckled and patted the dog’s head a couple of times. Then, he glanced at Muheun, awkwardly avoiding his gaze.‘…We’ll get going.’‘….’In that brief exchange, Muheun felt a sinking feeling in his chest. Watching Seungjoo twitch his cheek, grabbing his girlfriend’s wrist and turning away, then walking away from the playground—Muheun’s vision blurred. He couldn’t even clearly watch the two slowly walking away as everything in front of him became fuzzy.He stood there blankly for a long time. Only after they had completely disappeared from sight did he let out a hollow laugh.‘Ha…’It was a sudden realization. Not something he should have noticed from just watching them walk side by side. And yet, the moment it hit him, even Muheun was lost for words. Like glimpsing an inevitable future, the realization crashed into him, leaving him reeling.‘What… is this?’He thought Seungjoo was someone he was meant to protect. But maybe, that wasn’t the case after all. The tangled relationship between him and Seungjoo wasn’t just that of neighbors, like a big brother and little brother. It was something denser, something much deeper—something people might refer to as ‘fate.’ If he had to put a name to it, it was a feeling often described as love.‘…I must be thinking nonsense.’But to Muheun, Seungjoo was like a younger brother—a precious existence who could never be a romantic interest. There was a ten-year age difference between them, after all. How could he even think of Seungjoo, a kid, in that kind of way? Besides, no matter how strongly Muheun might feel some kind of destiny, it didn’t matter if Seungjoo didn’t feel the same.It was obvious. Unlike exorcists, who freely formed relationships regardless of gender, Seungjoo pursued an ordinary, normal life. He had no reason to ever look at another man, much less his older male neighbor, in that way.And so, Muheun decided to ignore the truth he had come to realize. After all, it was something only he knew, and it was a future that would never come to pass. There was no need to change his behavior or approach; he thought it best to just keep things as they were.But a problem arose. Since that day, Muheun became oddly conscious of his relationship with Seungjoo. It wasn’t romantic, but there was a strange uneasiness and a slight sense of urgency. For some reason, even the thought of being physically close to someone else became uncomfortable. For two weeks, he shut himself in his room, avoiding any interaction with others.He even felt strange when he heard that Seungjoo had broken up with his girlfriend. There was a small sense of happiness, but he couldn’t figure out if it was as a protective older brother or something else entirely. It was an utterly irresponsible feeling, knowing full well that he could tie an innocent young man’s life to his own if he wasn’t careful.Deciding he couldn’t let things go on like this, Muheun chose not to visit his family’s home as often. The more he saw Seungjoo, the stronger their intertwined fate would grow. He used work as an excuse, even staying in the dormitory on holidays, and whenever there was a trip to the countryside, he volunteered to increase the distance between them. Eventually, he was promoted to a higher position, recognized for his efforts. But no amount of success could fill the void left by that fundamental sense of longing.He loved Seungjoo as a younger brother, not romantically. How could he not miss someone he had watched over since before they were even born? It would have been stranger if he hadn’t thought about him from time to time.But what allowed him to endure that longing was the knowledge of certain rules he had come to understand through his constant glimpses into the future.For example, the closer you are physically to someone, the more likely you are to see their future.You could prevent a catastrophe by making immediate changes, but in the end, the outcome didn’t shift that much.Still, if you took proactive steps, you could avoid the worst possible scenarios.‘…’There had been a way to save Seunghee and Seungtae after all.Thinking along those lines made it even harder for Muheun to face Seungjoo. He missed him dearly, but there was some comfort in the fact that he hadn’t seen any future involving Seungjoo lately. If he wasn’t seeing anything, then nothing bad would happen, or at least that’s what Muheun told himself. He knew it was a foolish thought, but he believed that by keeping his distance, he could protect both Seungjoo and their relationship.Perhaps, it was thanks to those efforts. After exactly one year, Muheun felt that the bond of fate between him and Seungjoo had weakened. He found some bitter satisfaction in that realization, even though it was what he had wanted. It left a hollow space in his chest, even though it was a future he had so desperately hoped for.The one small comfort was that he could now see Seungjoo a little more often. If they remained as just brothers, there was no need to avoid him any longer. Though their meetings were still infrequent, at least when they did see each other, Muheun could treat him warmly.But that belief was shattered in Muheun’s twenty-seventh year.It was the day when Muryeong and Seungjoo, after entering Haeyeon High School, visited their family home during summer vacation. Muryeong was training in the annex, while Seungjoo, who had come by, was squatting in the yard, petting Seolgi. Muheun was thinking that he should probably give Seolgi a bath later, noticing the dirt and grass stuck to her fur.‘Ah, just look at how dirty Baek Seolgi is.’Despite the blazing sun, Seungjoo, as if unbothered by the heat, was rubbing Seolgi’s belly with a familiar hand. Though he was scolding her, his tone was filled with affection. Both of them were adorable, Muheun thought, as he noticed Seungjoo’s hair brushing against his neck and reached out his hand.‘If you’re this dirty…’The moment Muheun’s hand touched him, Seungjoo flinched and stopped talking. His neck and shoulders stiffened, though Muheun didn’t notice and continued touching him.‘Your hair’s gotten long, Seungjoo.’Even though Muheun had thought he should distance himself, he hadn’t yet fully adjusted his behavior. He could hold back when Seungjoo wasn’t in front of him, but when they were together, old habits naturally resurfaced. He would poke him playfully, startle him with little pranks, or cling to him like he used to when they were younger.Just like how he was casually running his hand through Seungjoo’s hair and neck right now.‘Are you growing it out?’‘No… I need to cut it.’Seungjoo slowly replied, hunching his shoulders even more. His hand, which had been petting Seolgi, stopped, and Seolgi, who was lying on her back, let out a whine. Seungjoo resumed petting her, but his motions were now mechanical.‘It must be hot. When are you going to cut it?’‘Soon…’Muheun, feeling the heat radiating from Seungjoo’s skin, instinctively cupped the back of his neck with his palm. He thought Seungjoo must have gotten overheated, so he wanted to cool him down a little. But Seungjoo, who had been sitting still as if frozen, suddenly dropped his head and muttered in a low voice.‘…Ah, please stop touching me.’He propped his elbows on his knees, covering the back of his head with one hand as if to ward off Muheun’s touch. His voice, now deep and resonant, no longer had the boyish tone it once did, signaling that his voice had fully matured.‘I’m sweating, but you keep touching me.’‘You’re not sweating.’There was a slight stickiness, but not to a bothersome degree. Even if Seungjoo were drenched, Muheun wouldn’t have minded. So, instead of pulling his hand away, he ran it through the back of Seungjoo’s hair from bottom to top, causing Seungjoo to gulp audibly.‘How can I not be…’Maybe it’s because he’s in high school now, but he’s grown a lot. His shoulders have broadened, and his neck, which once seemed so fragile, was no longer so thin. Muheun still remembered vividly how he used to hold Seungjoo up when he was small, and now it was difficult to even wrap one hand around his neck.‘Do you not like it when I touch your hair?’But to Muheun, Seungjoo was still a kid. Even if he seemed more mature now, he still found everything about him endearing. From his awkward shyness to the way he occasionally flared up—everything about him was cute.‘If you don’t like it, I won’t touch you anymore.’‘No, it’s not that I don’t like it…’Muheun had been ready to stop immediately if Seungjoo disliked it, but Seungjoo’s response, contradicting himself, made Muheun suppress a smile. Seungjoo then mumbled in a slightly grumpy tone.‘Your hand’s too hot.’Muheun paused and frowned slightly. If he wasn’t mistaken, the one who was truly overheated wasn’t him, but Seungjoo. His skin had warmed so quickly that Muheun’s palm had heated up just from touching him.‘It’s hot today…’Seungjoo’s muttered excuse lingered oddly in Muheun’s ears. He couldn’t see Seungjoo’s face, but he could tell that the back of his neck was flushed red. The heat he had previously dismissed as mere sun exposure now started to reveal something else.‘Hmm.’Muheun wasn’t someone oblivious to emotions. He could tell what Seungjoo’s reaction meant. Even though Seungjoo was trying to hide it, the very act of hiding it was suspicious. Everything about Seungjoo’s behavior, the way he reacted, pointed to one thing.‘Yeah, it seems like I was wrong.’When had Seungjoo started liking him? Not just as a neighbor or an older brother, but with the kind of affection that made him conscious of Muheun’s touch. The thought that the little kid he had always cared for could harbor such feelings never even crossed his mind.Muheun, pretending nothing had happened, withdrew his hand from Seungjoo’s hair. Only then did Seungjoo let out a small sigh of relief, adjusting his tense posture. Muheun, noticing Seungjoo’s now-relaxed shoulders, casually turned away.‘I should go wash Seolgi.’Muheun had no intention of confronting Seungjoo about it. He wasn’t so foolish as to point out such feelings. Drawing attention to it now would only make Seungjoo realize that Muheun had caught on, so acting as though nothing was amiss was the best option.After that, there were several more instances where Seungjoo subtly gave away his feelings. He would flinch when they touched or awkwardly look away when their eyes met. Though he did a good job hiding it for his age, once Muheun became aware, it was impossible not to notice.Muheun had contemplated many times whether he should distance himself further. If fate was what pulled Seungjoo towards him, he needed to help him break free from it. After all, it couldn’t be comfortable for Seungjoo, who sought a normal life, to have such feelings for him.But as he mentioned before, there was nothing Muheun could do about the deep-seated affection he felt.Thinking about keeping his distance left Muheun feeling hollow. So, without even realizing it, he found himself looking for reasons not to do so. Perhaps it wasn’t right to assume that fate was responsible. Seungjoo’s feelings were his own, and it wasn’t Muheun’s place to change his behavior over it.He admitted it. He had made a careless decision out of convenience. His growing desire to see Seungjoo had blurred the line he had carefully drawn.Time passed without any action, and the relationship between them hadn’t changed much. Even the strength of their fates remained the same, which gave Muheun a vague sense of reassurance that he hadn’t made any mistakes.Fortunately—or perhaps unfortunately—Seungjoo seemed to be gradually sorting out his feelings for Muheun. At some point, he stopped flinching when they touched, and when they made eye contact, he would ask bluntly, “What are you looking at?” Even though Muheun didn’t visit home often, Seungjoo would say this every time he saw him.‘Are you here again?’It was just a fleeting emotion, wasn’t it? Like how some kids have brief crushes on their schoolteachers. It was nothing more than a passing infatuation, a mere fleeting memory. That’s why this smart kid had already moved on and decided to return to the way things were.Muheun should have felt relieved, but instead, he was struck by an inexplicable sense of disappointment. He couldn’t figure out why he felt that way, nor could he dwell on the negative feelings. The moment he looked into those feelings, he had a hunch that there would be no turning back.Then came January 1st, the day both the youngest of their families turned twenty. It was the same day Muheun carefully picked out and brought champagne for Muryeong, Seungjoo, and the guest who was staying at Muryeong’s house at the time.‘…Hyung.’‘Why do you…’He remembered that moment at the front gate, where Seungjoo took a step closer and grabbed the collar of his shirt. The grip wasn’t that strong, but because it was Seungjoo, Muheun found himself naturally being pulled toward him. By the time he widened his eyes in surprise at the close proximity of their faces, their trembling breaths were already mingling.‘…’‘…’The reason Muheun didn’t immediately push Seungjoo away was that he didn’t dislike the soft sensation. It wasn’t just affection for a younger brother; what Muheun felt in that moment wasn’t something innocent. Though it wasn’t a kiss with tongues entwined, the sensation made his senses stand on edge.When their lips parted, the first thought that came to his mind, oddly enough, was one of disappointment. He almost reached out to hold onto Seungjoo, and had to clench his fist tightly to hide the urge. Seungjoo, who was tense to the point that even his breath trembled, calmly wished Muheun well.‘…Happy New Year.’And that was it. With no hesitation, Seungjoo turned around and disappeared inside the gate. Muheun heard the door close with a thud, followed by a sigh, but Seungjoo didn’t come back to explain himself or say anything more.‘…’Muheun prided himself on rarely being caught off guard, but in that moment, he was truly frozen in place, unable to react. It felt as though his mind had gone completely blank, like being struck on the back of the head. Even as he heard Seungjoo walk through the yard and into the house, Muheun stood there, utterly frozen.‘…Ha.’It wasn’t until a long while later that Muheun let out a hollow laugh and covered his face. He wasn’t sure if the laughter spilling from his lips was because he was amused or upset. Only one thought filled his mind.‘…Ah…’I’m screwed.To be honest, he had felt it vaguely. Not Seungjoo’s feelings, but the slight impulse he himself had. He had just been pretending not to know, lacking the courage to face it. If there had been the slightest trigger, he would have become fully aware of it. Though, after ignoring so many triggers until now, perhaps it wasn’t a matter of having or not having one.It wasn’t just about him being ten years younger; Seungjoo was practically a younger brother he had raised. Although they hadn’t seen each other often after Seungjoo turned ten, Muheun knew he shouldn’t feel any fluttering emotions if he had any conscience. No matter how Seungjoo saw him, Muheun couldn’t allow himself to be swayed.Even after barely stepping out of the front gate, Muheun continued to try to calm his complicated thoughts. Since he had work to do anyway, losing sleep wasn’t an issue, but the fact that the incident with Seungjoo kept resurfacing in his mind was. It wasn’t like it was his first kiss or anything more intense, yet he couldn’t forget that small, trivial contact.But despite his inner turmoil, Seungjoo didn’t contact him at all after that day. At first, Muheun wondered if Seungjoo had blacked out, but then he realized that even if Seungjoo hadn’t blacked out, he wouldn’t have contacted him. Seungjoo was probably just pretending nothing had happened, after much deliberation.If that was the case, Muheun would have to play along. It would be tactless and rude to point out a mistake made under the influence of alcohol. Besides, Muheun wasn’t in a position to be proud enough to bring up that night either.Two and a half months passed. Muheun wrapped up his life in the provinces and found a studio apartment near his family’s home. His work had mostly come to an end, and the head of the association had personally requested him to come to the city for some tasks. It wasn’t an appealing offer, but there was no strong reason to refuse either.Then, out of the blue, a call came in. Having just finished a task, Muheun answered the phone without checking the caller ID, as he often did. But the voice on the other end was far too familiar.‘…Hyung.’‘…’It was just a single syllable, but Muheun almost dropped his phone. He was so shocked that he couldn’t respond right away. Only then did he glance at the screen, which displayed the name “Seungjoo.”‘What are you doing right now, hyung?’‘Oh, Seungjoo. I was just working.’When Muheun was staying at home, they lived next door, so there was no reason to call, and after moving out, Seungjoo had never called first. Because of that, the sound of his voice over the phone felt strangely unfamiliar.‘Oh… You were working.’‘Yeah, but I just finished and was about to head home.’Worried that Seungjoo might hang up, Muheun quickly added. The fact that Seungjoo had called first must mean he had something to say.‘Then, are you not busy now?’‘Not really…’The question felt a little strange. First, Seungjoo was using casual speech instead of formal speech, and second, his pronunciation was slightly slurred. As he mulled over the quiet voice, a thought suddenly crossed Muheun’s mind, and he blurted out:‘Did you drink?’‘Wow, how did you know?’Seungjoo didn’t even try to deny it. In fact, he sounded genuinely impressed, as if his friends hadn’t noticed he was drunk, or he’d been acting fine at the drinking party. Muheun couldn’t help but laugh at that, though finding it cute and being worried were two separate things. Adjusting his grip on the phone, he started walking.‘Where are you?’He was relieved that Seungjoo wasn’t out of town. Despite all the effort he had put into creating physical distance before, Muheun was now grateful that he could reach him so quickly.Seungjoo was at a busy bar street near his university. Since it wasn’t far from where he had been working, Muheun was able to get there quickly. He briefly considered taking his car but decided against it, thinking it would be difficult to find parking, so he took a taxi instead.‘I’m nearby…’As he got out of the taxi and walked through the streets, groups of drunk students brushed past him. Most of them were halfway out of their minds, and some were clinging to lampposts, barely conscious. Worried that Seungjoo might be in a similar state, Muheun was about to call him when a woman’s voice caught his ear.‘Could you give me your number?’When Muheun absentmindedly looked up, he spotted Seungjoo at the far end of the street. He was standing against a wall with his hands in his jacket pockets, while two girls, around his age, stood in front of him. Seungjoo frowned slightly as he responded to the woman.‘…My number?’‘Yes, do you have a girlfriend?’Her tentative question was careful but also filled with a hope that he didn’t have one.‘I don’t have a girlfriend…’‘No way, really?’The girl, who was at least a head shorter than Seungjoo, seemed to brighten at his casual response. Even her friend standing beside her looked excited, prompting Muheun to quicken his steps.‘If you don’t mind, I could give you my number…’‘I’m sorry.’Muheun smoothly stepped between them, blocking the woman’s path to Seungjoo. The girl holding her phone blinked in surprise at his sudden appearance. Keeping a friendly smile, Muheun wrapped his arm around Seungjoo’s shoulders.‘He’s really drunk, so I’ll take him home.’‘Oh…’Instead of protesting, the two girls exchanged glances, reading the situation. Seungjoo, who had only just turned his head, finally noticed Muheun and playfully acknowledged him.‘Oh? It’s Kim Muheun.’It was clear that Seungjoo was quite drunk, as he had lost even his ability to address Muheun properly. Muheun chuckled and casually replied, ‘Yeah, I’m here.’ He didn’t forget to speak kindly to the girls who were still standing there nervously.‘Well, have fun.’‘Ah, okay…’Although he felt a bit sorry for their disappointed expressions, he didn’t feel particularly guilty. It was true that Seungjoo was drunk, and judging by the situation, it didn’t seem like he was going to give out his number.So, without hesitation, Muheun guided Seungjoo away. Seungjoo appeared less drunk than he had over the phone, and his gait was as normal as his complexion. There didn’t seem to be any need to support him, but since Seungjoo didn’t push him away, Muheun didn’t let go.As they entered a deserted alley, Seungjoo suddenly stopped walking. Muheun, with a worried look, observed Seungjoo and asked.‘What’s wrong?’‘Why did you come?’‘Why did I come…’The response was quite disappointing, but Muheun knew it wasn’t a sarcastic question. Seungjoo genuinely seemed curious, so Muheun simply adjusted Seungjoo’s hair and answered.‘I came because I was worried about you.’The smell of alcohol was strong, though it wasn’t offensive; it did feel a bit strange. To think that Seungjoo, who was out drinking in unknown places, was now getting hit on by strangers. Had so much time really passed?It was regrettable that he hadn’t witnessed Seungjoo’s growth over the years. Even though it was his own choice to be absent, he didn’t want to accept that there was a Seungjoo he didn’t know. He knew it was an unreasonable desire, but he couldn’t help but feel a pang of envy.‘Did you drink with your friends?’‘Yeah, we had a welcome party for the freshmen…’As Seungjoo fiddled with his ear, he leaned his face against Muheun’s palm. He had seemed fine just moments ago, but it seemed the effects of the alcohol had hit him suddenly. After a brief pause, Seungjoo lifted his eyelids.‘…’Looking into Seungjoo’s nearby eyes, Muheun unconsciously pressed his lips together.Seungjoo’s eyes weren’t unfocused, but his gaze was much more languid than usual. His features, sculpted under his thick eyebrows, were similar to what Muheun remembered but subtly different. He wasn’t at all cute but had a striking, handsome appearance overall.‘Do you want me to carry you?’Muheun asked, even though he knew Seungjoo would probably refuse. When Seungjoo was little, he would eagerly climb onto Muheun’s lap, but as he grew, he had to be coaxed and begged to do so. However, Seungjoo nodded obediently.‘Yeah.’‘…’‘Carry me.’What did he just say? For a moment, Muheun didn’t understand his words. But Seungjoo was already pulling on Muheun’s arms, as if asking to be carried.‘I’m too lazy to walk.’His tone wasn’t whiny, but Muheun couldn’t help but think it was cute. Just like when Seungjoo was younger, he kneeled on the floor and let out a silly laugh. When Seungjoo asked why he was laughing, Muheun didn’t answer but said instead:‘You need to hold on tightly so you don’t fall.’‘I won’t fall.’Confidently responding, Seungjoo leaned his weight onto Muheun. Despite his height, he felt quite light to Muheun. Maybe he should eat a bit more, Muheun thought to himself as he slowly lifted Seungjoo.‘If you’re sleepy, you should take a nap.’Muheun said as he adjusted Seungjoo’s position, but Seungjoo didn’t reply. He simply buried his face against Muheun’s bare neck, holding on tightly. When Seungjoo’s warm breath touched his nape, Muheun briefly regretted deciding to carry him.‘Why did you drink so much?’He shouldn’t be feeling this way towards someone so young.Worried that Seungjoo might get strange thoughts, Muheun carried him on his back, but it felt like a different kind of test of patience. It wasn’t the first time he had carried him, yet the warmth of Seungjoo’s body had never been so noticeable until today.‘You handled it well when you drank with Hyung, didn’t you?’ Muheun said.‘No… I didn’t drink because I wanted to,’ Seungjoo mumbled.Seungjoo, trying to hide his true feelings, offered a fumbling excuse as Muheun spoke in a stern tone. He rubbed his face, sighed in frustration, and muttered quietly.‘That jerk kept pushing drinks on me…’‘Pushing drinks on you, Seungjoo?’ Muheun asked.Did forced drinking still happen these days? Muheun could understand it in Kim Mooyeon’s time, but nowadays, people were more careful around freshmen. Even back then, Kim Mooyeon was known for never backing down from a rude Sunbae.‘No, not me. It was Kim Seohyun.’‘…Kim Seohyun?’ Muheun frowned at the unfamiliar name. It wasn’t important that he didn’t recognize the name—Seungjoo only ever hung out with Muryeong. But hearing that name did make him wonder since it sounded like a woman’s name.‘Yeah, Kim Seohyun couldn’t refuse, so that Sunbae kept trying to force more drinks. What a lunatic…’Seungjoo’s voice was laced with irritation, and though the explanation was brief, Muheun could guess what had happened. Seungjoo, unable to stand by and watch unfairness, must have intervened, unable to hold back his frustration.‘I bet Seohyun was thankful,’ Muheun remarked.‘Well, not really…’ Seungjoo mumbled.Muheun smiled to himself. Our Seungjoo is really kind. He realized that, in moments like these, Seungjoo was just like Seunghui. Quietly taking care of others, pretending it was nothing, and not attaching any special meaning to his acts of kindness.‘It was just me being nosy,’ Seungjoo added.Muheun knew why Seungjoo underestimated his own good deeds. It was because Seungjoo always compared himself to Muryeong. Since Muryeong was his standard for ‘goodness,’ Seungjoo always felt like what he did wasn’t a big deal.But to Muheun, both Seungjoo and Muryeong were equally kind, though their ways were different. Muryeong naturally liked people and didn’t mind helping others, while Seungjoo, even when it annoyed him, would still act if he believed it was the right thing to do. And yet, because he didn’t want to help, Seungjoo judged that he wasn’t being ‘kind.’‘So, how much did you drink?’ Muheun asked.‘I don’t know… How many was it again…’ Seungjoo began counting on his fingers—one, two, three, four—before stopping once he reached five. It seemed he had lost track after that, and despite his large hands, Muheun couldn’t help but think the gesture looked adorable.‘Anyway, I drank a lot,’ Seungjoo grumbled, slouching a bit more comfortably on Muheun’s back.Muheun adjusted his grip, securing Seungjoo’s thighs firmly as Seungjoo suddenly spoke again.‘Hey, Hyung?’‘Yeah?’‘Where are we going right now?’It was a question that came a little too late, and the answer was already obvious, but Muheun replied kindly without any hint of annoyance.‘We’re going to your place, Seungjoo.’‘My place?’‘Yeah, your place.’‘You coming too?’‘I’ll drop you off and then head home.’‘My home… next door?’‘No, to my place.’‘Why?’ ‘Hm?’Muheun, who had been answering all of Seungjoo’s questions, turned slightly at the unexpected query. For a moment, he wondered if Seungjoo wanted him to visit their shared childhood friend, Seolgi. But then, Seungjoo blurted out a completely unrelated reason.‘You said you’re not going back to the countryside anymore.’It was something Muheun had mentioned when they were waiting for the New Year’s Eve bell at his family home. Seungjoo’s next words came slowly, like before.‘You said you’d be around the house more often…’Maybe Seungjoo had misunderstood that Muheun meant he was going back to the countryside, rather than staying close by in the city. Before Muheun could even explain, Seungjoo let out another comment.‘…Then why don’t you come?’Muheun stood frozen. The tone of Seungjoo’s voice had shifted to something that sounded strangely hurt. His steps stopped, and Seungjoo, tightening his hold, murmured softly.‘I waited for you, Hyung.’Muheun wasn’t sure which time Seungjoo was referring to. Was it the past few months, or a time much longer ago?One thing was certain: the sense of hurt lingered even now.‘I kept waiting, but… you never came.’Muheun felt too guilty to even speak. When you feel so sorry, it seems even an apology can’t form. That wave of guilt was too heavy for mere words to soothe. Seungjoo’s next words were heavier, his voice dipping.‘You’ll leave again once today’s over, won’t you?’Muheun knew he had his reasons, but in the end, they were just excuses. And even if it came to explaining himself, it wasn’t something he should do now, not to Seungjoo in this state.‘Seungjoo, do you hate it when I leave?’At Muheun’s gentle question, Seungjoo didn’t respond with words. Instead, he buried his face in Muheun’s neck and nodded quietly. Muheun let out a short hum before speaking slowly.‘Then, do you want to go to my place?’If someone were to ask what he was thinking, Muheun would simply say he didn’t know how else to comfort him. Or perhaps, he just couldn’t bring himself to leave Seungjoo behind after hearing him speak like that. To be even more honest, a part of Muheun was reluctant to part ways with Seungjoo.So, Muheun carried Seungjoo to his apartment. The recently moved-into place wasn’t far from his family home, and though it was a distance that would tire most people, it wasn’t difficult for Muheun.Once inside, Muheun carefully laid the now-sleeping Seungjoo on the bed. He gently cradled the back of his head as he lowered him down, but Seungjoo stirred awake, slowly opening his eyes. Still dazed, Seungjoo suddenly grabbed Muheun’s collar.‘…’In his life, Muheun had only had his collar grabbed twice—and both times, it had been by Seungjoo. It didn’t bother him, though; in fact, the suddenness of it felt oddly endearing.‘Hey, Kim Muheun,’ Seungjoo mumbled.Ah… how cute.Muheun realized that Seungjoo must call him that in his head. He had called him ‘Kim Muheun’ earlier on the street, too, enunciating each syllable clearly. He must’ve been really annoyed with me, Muheun thought, smiling as he responded playfully.‘You should call me Hyung.’‘Hyung,’ Seungjoo corrected himself.‘Yeah, Seungjoo.’‘Muheun Hyung.’‘Mm-hmm, go ahead.’Seungjoo obediently corrected himself again, calling Muheun “Hyung” like a child learning to speak. It reminded Muheun of the days when Seungjoo used to babble as a toddler, and Muheun would answer every single word, fascinated by the sound.‘Why are you pretending not to know?’‘Not know what?’‘That time… with me…’Seungjoo trailed off, unable to finish his sentence. It wasn’t so much hesitation as it was not knowing how to put his thoughts into words.Then, unexpectedly, he blurted out, ‘We kissed.’Muheun knew exactly what Seungjoo was talking about. It was that time in front of the two identical gates when Seungjoo had suddenly kissed him. That night, Muheun hadn’t been able to sleep, replaying the unexpected kiss in his mind, too afraid to even bring it up afterward.‘…That wasn’t a kiss,’ Muheun said, half-teasing. He hadn’t really meant it—he just found it amusing that someone like Seungjoo would call that a kiss. Of course, he hadn’t expected Seungjoo to get upset and kiss him again.‘If that wasn’t a kiss, what was it?’ Seungjoo asked indignantly.‘I can’t kiss our Seungjoo like that.’‘Why not?’ Seungjoo challenged.With that, Seungjoo pulled Muheun down and pressed his lips against his again. This time, unlike the last, he bit down on Muheun’s lower lip as if to prove a point. The short but heated contact sent a rush of warmth to Muheun’s stomach.‘Will you even remember this tomorrow?’ Muheun asked, feeling his own restraint weakening. This drunk, reckless Seungjoo didn’t seem to grasp how dangerous their situation was—especially with them being in bed, Seungjoo lying defenseless beneath him.Even so, Seungjoo stubbornly clung to Muheun’s collar, frowning.‘I won’t remember,’ Seungjoo said, his voice full of certainty.Something about that confident response irked Muheun. He suddenly recalled that Seungjoo had been drunk on New Year’s Eve as well. The thought made his mood dip. What if kissing Muheun was just part of Seungjoo’s drunken habits?‘…You really won’t?’Muheun didn’t see the future as a fixed series of events. It was more like a feeling, a premonition, much like when he first realized his bond with Seungjoo was unchangeable. And now, he had a similar certainty—that one day, Seungjoo would remember tonight.‘…Seungjoo, memories are like a chain.’It might’ve sounded harsh, but Muheun wanted Seungjoo to remember this moment. Maybe not tomorrow, or the next day, but someday, he hoped Seungjoo wouldn’t forget any of what happened between them.‘One day, tonight might come back to you,’ Muheun said quietly.Seungjoo didn’t answer; instead, he pulled Muheun down for another kiss. The sensation of Seungjoo’s lips sucking on his lower lip sent another surge of heat through Muheun. When Seungjoo’s tongue grazed his lips, Muheun instinctively pulled back, feeling the tension rise within him.‘…Your drinking habits are a mess,’ Muheun muttered.He knew Seungjoo would meet more people as he went through college, and as an adult now, there would be more chances for intimacy. Just imagining it made Muheun’s chest tighten with jealousy. Almost reflexively, he asked in a low voice:‘Do you act like this outside too?’ The chapters have been revised, edited, and compressed, and the complete main story has been released for free, as I’m concerned it might be taken down or worse. I didn’t want to disappoint the readers, so I apologize for any inconvenience, and I hope you enjoy reading the complete story! The side stories will be coming soon, so don't worry~