ALL NOVEL Chapter 51: Memories From the Past
Erin looked at her wife, Solana, who lay on the ground, beaten and bruised. The corpse of the massive dragon lay dead at her feet.
"Solana!" Erin screamed as she rushed towards her beloved and dove to her knees. She wrapped her arms around her lover, lifted her off the ground, and supported her on her knee. "You're hurt!"
Solana looked up at her beautiful elven wife with tears in her eyes and a happy smile. She reached out weakly with one hand, cupped her cheek, and said, "I'm okay. We did it."
"No." Erin shook her head and smiled widely as tears dripped from her face. "You did it, love; you killed the monster—"
Yet suddenly. The presumed-dead dragon jerked back to life, its eyes brimming with foul energy as it snarled. Solana gripped Erin by her shirt and muttered the words of power before suddenly the two were launched off the ground, flung safely away from the undead monstrosity.
The two landed safely, and Erin gritted her teeth as she gripped her love by the shoulder, muttered the ancient words of the healing rite, and began to mend Solana's wounds as the massive undead reptile got to its feet. With its wings outstretched, the creature's chest expanded, unleashing a terrifying roar.
Yet the two lovers, now standing side by side, shielded themselves with magical earmuffs to protect against the monster's horrific sound. Sharing a knowing glance, the two women took each other by their hands and stared at the dragon, which began to take flight. The two girls held their wands aloft together and began to shout—
"For the Spell Maidens!" Anne and I shouted as we began moving our dolls across the imaginary battlefield towards our make-believe dragon, a large mossy rock we found outside the tent.
"Haha, yes!" Oscar laughed from the sidelines. "Spell Maidens, good name. Though I think it's time for heroes to sleep."
Anne looked up and pouted. "But we haven't beaten the dragon yet," she said, her ears folding downward, as did mine.
Though peeking outside the tent, I could faintly see the two moons high above us, telling me it was past midnight. Oh darn, it's super late.
Oscar yawned, and Anne and I did, too, like it was contagious. "Yes. But you can defeat it tomorrow." Oscar nodded. "It's late, and I need rest, and so do you."
Anne whimpered, but I smiled and patted her on the back. "It's okay, Anne. I had a lot of fun!" I smiled widely at her. I wasn't kidding either; maybe it was my childish imagination, or perhaps I still had a soft spot for toys all these years later, but that was the most fun I had in ages.
"Will you want to play tomorrow?" She asked me with big, doe-like eyes, her fingers fidgeting and her thumbs twiddling.
I gulped. Shit, I have practice again all day, and then… I felt a pang of fear and anxiety. Then there's the mission to save my family.
"I…" I bit my lower lip. "I don't know. But if I can, I'll come find you." I tried to lighten the mood with a big smile.
Thankfully, this worked, as Anne smiled and nodded. "Okay! I'll look for you after you're done training if you can play." She giggled, and I couldn't help but laugh along with her.
Yet before I knew it, Anne leaned in, wrapped her arms around me, and hugged me. I felt my heart rate spike upward, and my cheeks burned brightly. "Thank you for playing with me!" she said into my chest.
I could hear Oscar cooing as he watched this, and I hesitantly returned Anne's embrace. "You're welcome," I said softly.
"Anne, get ready for rest. I walk Luna back to the tent." Anne slowly released me and nodded before crawling over to the one bedroll they owned.
Not wanting to prolong anything any longer, I gave Anne one final wave before crawling out of the tent as Oscar followed suit. Once it was out, I stood up, smoothed out my dress, and waited for Oscar as he came beside me, and he gestured for me to follow him as we walked under the moon's lights.
"Anne really likes you," Oscar said bluntly in his usual heavily accented way. "Stop talking; she hasn't. For a full day, she talked about you."
I nodded. "Yeah, I showed Anne some magic," I mumbled and yawned. "She really likes that sort of stuff."
Oscar nodded. "Indeed. Magister she wants to be. I teach her as much as I can," Oscar said as we neared mine and Isa's tent.
I raised an eyebrow. "Do you know magic?" I asked him.
Oscar held up his thumb and index finger as a little c, indicating how much he knew. "Very little. Mend spells for building, welding, and stuff to help me craft. All motes."
"Isa did say you were an artificer," I said, and Oscar nodded as we stepped outside my tent.
"Aye, I am. An inventor from Yankston. Worked with Vander Lambert, I did!"
"Vander Lambert?" I blinked, and Oscar looked at me, confused.
"Oh? You don't know?" he asked, and I shook my head. He smiled. "Owner of Lambert Arms and Manufacturing. Most renowned weapons company in all of Yankston maybe world. He made K-21 rifle and designed the godhammer."
Ah, so he's the Lockheed Martin of this world. I thought and nodded.
"Well, that's really interesting; good to know. Did you design any cool guns?" I asked, and Oscar smiled.
"Many! But cannot talk; trade secrets." He chuckled. "But I did work on, uh, what word to use…" He thought for a second and then started muttering something in Yanky. It was so weird hearing him swap between languages. When speaking, Maurich sounded goofy and entertaining to listen to, yet upon going to his native tongue, his tone shifted to something very sophisticated and fast.
Finally, he snapped his fingers and said, "Mk.3 Promethean cannon. Field gun, small, fast, and BOOM!" He gestured out wide. "Hit hard! Blows many baddies to bits." I snorted at his enthusiasm. "Though currently, weapon only used by Yankston armed forces. Not here in Heinmarr, but if it were, Rusivite would turn tail!" He laughed, and I couldn't help but giggle and nod.
With a deep breath, he gave me a polite bow and said, "But I must return. Good night, Luna."
I smiled, returned the gesture, and said, "Good night, Oscar."
With a sigh, we both turned away and parted ways. I dipped into the tent and found Isa still awake. Shit, I hope Oscar and I didn't wake her.
Isa sat up with a book in her lap and a low-lit lamp beside her. I gulped. "Sorry if we woke you," I said softly.
Isa shook her head. "No, you're alright. I've been awake for a while." She glanced up at me and blinked, her eyes widening. "Luna, your hair? It's… back."
I crawled into the tent and came over to Isa. "Yeah!" I said with a smile as I plopped myself next to her. "A cleric named Celena I met today restored it for me." I giggled.
Isa smiled gently. "Well, you look cute."
"Did I not look cute before?" I playfully pouted, and Isa smirked.
"You look even cuter." She snickered.
I glanced at the book she held. It was large and thick, almost like a dictionary. I pointed to it. "What're you reading?" I asked.
Isa glanced down at the book in her hands. "A book given to me by the steward." She closed it and flipped it over to see where the synopsis was. "It's called the Chronicles of Vinland. It's a story about how the first king, Lief Erikson, came from the Land of Ice and sailed across the Rainbow Ocean in search of Vinland."
I sat there with wide eyes and looked at her, confused. Land of Ice? Iceland? Lief Erikson day like from SpongeBob… I'm too tired for this.
"Sounds interesting," I said with a yawn, and Isa nodded slowly.
"Luna," she said as I lay beside her. "Do you still intend on going—"
"Yes." I cut her off; I already knew what she would ask. "It's only been a day, and we've already learned a couple of spells that could help me and even us. I'll learn even more at sunrise, and when the Colonel is ready, I will save Mother and the others."
Isa looked down at me, and I saw her concerned face in the lamplight. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and patted me on the head as her clawed fingers combed through my new, short hair.
"Okay," she said softly, "get some rest, kitten." Her voice was gentle, yet I couldn't help but sense a twinge of sadness.
Yet I wouldn't ponder it for long, as sleep would overtake me.
Casey White's fist connected with my nose and right cheek, sending a cascade of stars and burning pain that sent shockwaves through my body as I tumbled back. My leg caught the curb behind me, and I yelled as my fat ass fell back into the pile of leaves.
Before I could react, the scrawny kid dove onto me, and fist after fist came rocketing down into my face. Busting my glasses, gums, lips, and nose. I could hear and feel the cartilage crunching and snapping as he snarled and wailed on me as the gang behind him cheered him on.
"Beat his ass, Casey! Show that fat fuck what he's worth!"
"This is what you get for moving on our girl, you lard ass!"
I tried to defend myself; my hands went to shield my face, yet Casey's iron grip forced them out of the way. "Let me see that pretty face. Do you think she likes this?" Wham, his fist struck me in the right eye. "Do you really think Katie likes this face of yours?" he asked me again before slamming his fist into me again.
I sobbed and groaned as I sputtered and choked on my blood. Casey grabbed me by the collar and yanked me up to look him in the face. His brown eyes were burning with rage as he said, "She is mine. If I see your pear-shaped ass coming near her again, I'll make sure you'll be eating through a straw."
I moaned simply in response as my right hand reached into the leaf pile behind me, tapping around for anything as Casey sneered and said, "What was that?" mockingly.
I felt my hand grip something hard—a rock. "Fug-ck, you…" I blurted out.
Casey snarled. "You done fucked up ███—GYAAK!" My hand flew out of the leaves, rock in hand, as I bashed him across the side of the face, sending him reeling off of me and tumbling to the cement, clutching his face.
As quick as I could, I pushed myself to my feet as his two buddies sat on their bicycles, eyes wide. Little John, the one who called me a lard ass, looked at me. "The fuck is wrong with you—" He started to ask, but I whipped the rock in my hand into his face, cracking him in the nose with a spray of blood, which sent him tumbling off his bike.
The third kid, DeShawn, let off a yelp in surprise. He immediately kicked off his bike and began riding home, shouting, "Help! Help! He's going nuts!"
Casey, still dazed and clutching his face, sat up, and just both of my hands gripped him by the throat. His eyes bulged as I rammed my knee into his chest and forced him back into the cement. I slammed the back of his head into the pavement as I began to strangle the life out of him.
Behind me, Little John continued to scream, clutching his bloodied nose as he got to his feet, and I heard him run off. Meanwhile, my thumbs gouged into Casey's neck as his eyes continued to pop from their sockets, his legs kicking frantically beneath me as his hands slapped at my arms and gripped my face as I sobbed and squeezed harder and harder. Snot and blood dripped from my face onto his eyes as I burned hatred into him.
"What's happening?!" A man's voice boomed from a nearby house as I heard its front door clatter. "Jesus Christ! ███Get off of him! ███! ███! Get the fuck off of him! You're going to kill him!" I heard a man shout as a shadow came over me and gripped onto—
"Luna! Luna!" I heard Isa's panicked voice as I jerked awake, gasping and panting. My eyes fluttered open, and I could see her leaning over me, her eyes wide with concern. Around us, the tent was lit by the sun's rays beaming through the canvas as I panted heavily, my eyes crusty and my cheeks stained with tears.
"Luna, are you okay? You were having a nightmare, mumbling words I had never heard before…"
I panted heavily and groaned as I pushed her back gently and sat up, my hand rubbing at my eyes. "I-I was having… another nightmare, that's all." I sniffed and wiped my eyes, yet the tears kept coming.
Why… Why now? Why am I having these nightmares? I'm done with that fucking life. Yet this is the second time?
"Do you want to talk about it?" Isa asked me as I sniffed and shook my head.
No. I'm done. That me, that time, it's dead. It's gone, and there's nothing I can do about it. It's best I just forget it; I'm Luna now. That fat ass from before is gone.
I took a couple of deep breaths and said, "No. It's not important."
Isa didn't look convinced. "Are you sure?" She asked, and I nodded as I shifted to my knees.
"I'm going to eat some breakfast and meet with my mentor," I said softly before Isa could say anything else as I crawled out of the tent. I briskly made my way over to the latrine, where I went in after ensuring I was the only one around. I locked myself inside before sitting down and letting it all out.
"It doesn't make any sense…" I hissed as I tried to wipe myself of those memories. "Why him? Why then? It doesn't—it doesn't make sense!" I wiped my eyes. "She liked me; I liked her; I did have a nice face… I still do, right?" I sniffed.
"It was only a nightmare." The voice said, "A combination of your anxieties and the coming conflict has your emotions high. It is to be expected to have a nightmare or two."
"It wasn't just a nightmare," I hissed, glancing up at the latrine ceiling as if I expected to hear the voice. "That actually happened. All of that, Casey White; he's a fucking prick. His gang, all the other kids at school. I never went outside because of those fucks. It's because of them that I never got a girlfriend or did anything—"
"Casey White and his gang are gone, Luna. They do not exist in this world. You have nothing to fear."
I waved my hand to the side. "That's not what I'm scared about… I… I …" I took a deep breath. "I don't want to talk about it. "I just… I'm going to use the restroom and go eat."
"Do as you wish."
The training today was mostly the same as yesterday. Alexander and Celena had me repeat various incantations of the spells we discussed yesterday: mass rejuvenation, restoration, resilience, and water lash. I also knew some spells, such as spark, pebble, and gust, and I was refining those as best I could.
Once again, the healing spells were a little tricky to practice because I had healed everyone in the hospital yesterday. That alone was a fantastic practice for the spell: rejuvenate. Yet, and I feel bad for thinking of injured people as training dummies, that unfortunately made it so I can't try the other spells on them. Of course, resilience was the easiest one to try. Because of my developing nature, I was able to numb my growing breasts or even the sores I got from moving around all day.
Alexander did bring up the idea of harming himself, similar to how Colonel Hass did while using the spell resilience to numb his pain. Yet, Celena quickly shut that down, claiming it to be heretical and a misuse of such magic. I see why that's the case.
It was an exhausting day, to say the least. When I set foot in the field, we created and slung spells nonstop. It was fun yet taxing. Alexander, like the day before, was strict and harsh, when need be, in instructing me on my stature and cadence.
I had to recite the spells as he told them; I had to have the same stance as him and speak at the same pace that he said. On paper, this sounds easy, but in practice, no. I've gotten plenty of practice with the resilience spell due to his constant swatting with his staff whenever I mess up a line. Not to mention, I was pretty much becoming conditioned on my new nickname, "Squirt."
No matter how much I argued, he kept calling me. I'm at the point now where I've just given up. Instead, I've started calling him Gramps. Unfortunately, it didn't yield the reaction that I thought it would.
Instead, he stroked his beard and said, "I do look like a cool grandpa, don't I?"
Darn him for not having insecurities regarding his age.
What concerned me about today's training was that there was only a slight noticeable improvement. Unlike yesterday, where I learned a handful of new spells rapidly and could perform a couple of them exceptionally well, today was, well… as mentioned, a repeat. I was able to spend more time with the spells I learned due to my well having been restored yet. I was hoping to have some significant breakthroughs like the day before.
Perhaps I'm just being too hopeful or trying to rush when I shouldn't.
How am I supposed to save Mother and the others with a couple of healing spells, some wind, sharp water, and an RPG? An RPG that drains the essence out of me faster than anything else, mind you!
"You don't." The voice spoke to me as it snapped me back into the present.
It was around evening, during a short break, as Alexander and Celena went to enjoy their dinner. I was in the field with a ration I had brought and rested against a boulder while eating.
"The hell do you mean I don't?" I muttered out loud.
"Forgive me," the voice said. "What I mean is that with those powers, you will not be able to save them—not alone, at least. I can sense that this 'factory,' as Oscar put it, has an immense number of souls. Friend or foe, I cannot tell. Yet the place is heavily guarded."
"Well, no shit, I'm not going in there alone," I muttered as I took a chunk of my jerky and chewed.
"Then why do you fantasize and imagine you doing this all alone?"
"You can see my imagination?" I asked as a piece of jerky fell out of my mouth.
"Yes, and your thoughts are crude." The voice spoke as my face burned brightly.
"Wh-what the fuck, man?!" Knowing he would've seen everything my horrid brain would've thought up, I whined. My innocence is ruined. Now I'm having nightmares, and god knows how much of a freak I can be!
"Unfortunately, whenever I invite myself in, I cannot help but see what you're thinking." The voice said.
"Just leave me alone." I huffed and nibbled on my food.
"There may be a problem with your plan," said the voice, and I raised an eyebrow as I chewed.
"What do you mean?" I asked as I took another bite.
"From what I can recall and see, you were told you would be in the back lines. How do you plan on saving your family from the triage?" He asked me.
"Great, so you can sift through my memories like a filing cabinet…" I sighed. "I don't plan on staying in the hospital. I was told a hospital would be constructed on the other side of the river near the fight. I don't plan on sticking there."
"So you will disobey orders and go ahead?" The voice asked curiously.
"Yep," I said bluntly. "I'm no official soldier. I don't have to listen to them."
"A naive way of thinking, though. Let us hope no disciplinary officers have the guts to shoot a child." The voice said it coldly.
I took a nervous bite out of my ration upon hearing that.
The big day arrived. The dawn of the third day was met with a distant trumpet and whistles from the camp. I awoke peacefully after having passed out from the rigorous training the day before. Yet I had made sure to stop and hang out with Anne before bed. Unfortunately, I was too sleepy to play couples with her again, though she didn't mind just hearing me talk about my training.
I was nervous during our chat because she kept asking questions and looking at me with those big eyes. I don't know why she makes me so nervous. I was never like this with Varis, and even the few times I spoke with Mila and Avdol, I never got all fidgety. I doubt it's whatever the voice says, telling me my body is reacting. Bullshit, I know I'm like thirty-something years old, a dude in this little girl's body, and I'm like seven in this world. There is no way in hell I could feel like this is right?
God, I'm a freak.
"You are only seeing yourself as a freak because you're still thinking like you're the man from your past life."
I nearly flew out of my dress and into the top of my tent as the voice startled me. What the hell?! Isn't there a way you can warn me before just appearing?
"Not really." The voice said.
I glanced over at Isa, who was still fast asleep, and sighed as I went over to the tent flap to start my morning routine of going to the latrine to freshen up. What the hell do you mean by thinking I'm still like myself from before or whatever you said?
"Exactly that, Luna. Do you truly see yourself as a young, seven-year-old girl?" The voice asked me as I walked.
My eyes widened, and I frowned a little. Uh… never really thought about it?
"When your conscious mind thinks, do you still imagine your old voice?" The voice asked me, and I stopped in the middle of the dirt road.
Uh… shit, now that you mention it, yeah? I still think like my old self, as in, like… I hear myself mentally like that. Huh, I never really thought of that as well.
"And do you see yourself as a woman?" The voice asked me, and I tensed up.
Excuse me? I asked.
"Do you, Luna Ashflow, feel like a woman? This is a genuine question," the voice asked me calmly.
I began to fidget and squirm; my heart rate picked up by a few beats, and I gulped. I, uh, never really… thought about that… I just sort of went with the flow. Like. I think I am; I have a vagina, and I'm growing tits. I, uh, enjoy dressing up. Before, I always wondered what it'd be like to be a girl. So, I guess I have wanted to go with the flow ever since I became one. What does this have to do with what you mentioned before?
"So you've always wanted to be a girl?" The voice asked me.
Okay, dude, this is getting a little weird. I don't—y'know, I have some stuff I need to do later. Can we talk about this some other time?
"As you wish."
I shuddered as the voice went quiet.
"What the hell did he mean by all of that?" I said it out loud, now taking complete note of how my thoughts sounded compared to my physical voice. I glanced down at my hands and sighed. "Fuck, I don't have time for an existential crisis!" I groaned as I went to the latrine to get ready for today before going to meet with Alexander one final time before the Colonel announced her plans.