The Terminally-Ill Lord Desires Hospice Care

In my dream, I saw the hazy form of a person. No matter how much I reached out, I could not touch that formless figure or see its face, but I knew who it was and tried to reach out and grasp it.

Yet my feet would not move, as if stuck in a swamp. Though I could extend my arms, I could not move forward.

“Indeed.”
This dream would not allow me to grasp that figure. Like the boundary between life and death.

Unable to grasp it, my bloodied hands had transformed into the ceiling of my new dwelling.

“You were muttering nonsense in your sleep, nearly giving me a heart attack. Did you have some nightmare?”
“No. I rarely have nightmares.”
I answered the raven’s question in a dry voice.
“…But it was an extremely vain and miserable dream. Almost preferable to have a nightmare instead.”
“By the way, aren’t you surprised I’m out of the cage?”
“Leaving the cage is your freedom, why should I be surprised? If you insist, I could give you the false answer of being surprised.”

That is why I did not lock the cage door, so he could leave whenever he wished. I simply provided a resting place and food – to force him to remain by my side would be an act of violence.
It was the same with Rizehl and my mother. I too could not force them to stay with me. They had done the same to me, so I did not force them either.
To impose one’s feelings and stance is the ugliest form of oppression, after all.

“Raul sir. I have brought your meal.”
Betty deftly timed her arrival with my waking, bringing breakfast.
Crispy bacon, a salad with onions, ham sandwiches, and assorted butters and tea – that was my breakfast today.

“…I do not have much appetite today.”
“Pardon…? But I worked hard on it…”
“Then you should eat it yourself. It is not a criticism of your skill, simply that I cannot eat onions or pork products.”

Moreover, I wished to properly observe this village that I had been unable to during my bout of toxin purging.
“I shall go out for a bit.”

When I went outside, intending to enjoy the morning breeze, the sun was already high overhead. The morning breeze I had wished to feel was no longer blowing.

“Quite a miserable day, it seems.”

So I began walking around with just my cane. While the village was not particularly large, there were mountains and a river nearby, and they said the sea was a bit further out.
The lord who had guarded this place had fled, forcing the villagers themselves to take up arms and defend their home.
It was admirable, to say the least. I had relied on my subordinates, comrades, and my own meager martial skills to protect myself, but they had protected their hometown without any such help, using only themselves as weapons.

And in a way, I was glad, if only slightly, that they had not faced the calamities we did – the Dragon King, the Demon Lord of Blood, the Immortal King, the Cursed Blade, the Wicked Fowl, and the like.

“You must be the new lord who has arrived…”
The one who interrupted my meaningless musings was an elderly man who looked over 80 years old.
“That is correct.”
“Oh my, no need for such formalities with this feeble old man.”
“This is comfortable for me.”
“Heheh, quite the peculiar one, aren’t you?”

The old man sat down on a nearby bench and patted the spot beside him, seemingly inviting me to sit as well.
Though puzzled, I sensed the conversation would not begin until I took that seat, so I sat down beside him.

“I heard you were treated quite shabbily yesterday.”
If he was referring to yesterday, it was likely about the villagers’ reaction towards me and that stack of documents.
“If I may ask, are you referring to the reaction the villagers showed me yesterday?”
“You must have been angry, no? A noble unaccustomed to such treatment in your lifetime…”

I had not lived such a sheltered life as to find that treatment out of the ordinary. Moreover, that amount of work was trivial to me.
“I did not feel any particular emotion. Knowing this village’s background, I found their reaction quite natural.”

To be honest, I understood their circumstances that much. I thought it only natural for them to be wary of me, and the woman who had boldly dumped that work on me instead impressed me.

“It seems we have a remarkably respectable lord visiting this humble village. Too good for such a small place.”

I had to disappoint the old man’s expectations. Remaining silent to such expectations now would only lead to a grave betrayal later, that much was clear.

“I am not so respectable a person.”
“Ho…”
“I failed to attend my father’s deathbed. With my own hands, I killed a friend who was a benefactor to me. I betrayed my own younger sister. Do I still appear a respectable person to you after that?”

He would surely look down on me. But if he was going to find out eventually, it seemed better to inform him now.

“Yes, to these old eyes you still appear an innocent youth. Quite the reckless side to you, my lord, trying to shake this old man’s stubbornness.”

I could not understand. Each of those was surely a repulsive mistake, a crime. The very reason people despised me.
Then why would this old man not hate me? Why would he not look down on me, a complete stranger?
Why cast a stone into the still pond of my heart that should have remained undisturbed?

“Why is that? If it is an attempt to gain my favor, let me tell you it is a futile endeavor.”
“Why would this old man seek your favor? It is simply…”

The old man spoke a phrase I had never heard in my life before. While the individual words were familiar, hearing that particular combination spoken aloud was a first for me.

“…because I have not heard the circumstances behind how you came to commit such sorrowful acts.”
“…Why.”
The cold logic I always maintained began burning hot.
Ripples began forming in the still, peaceful waters of my mind that should have remained undisturbed.
“Why are you able to say such a thing…”
Growl.
But at that moment, the rumbling of my empty stomach caused the old man to let out an amused chuckle.
“Now now, the lord shouldn’t be skipping meals like this. Lords and carpenters and bakers alike, we all gotta eat to live.”

The old man took some bread from the basket he was holding, split it in half, and offered me one of the halves.
“What is this?”
“This old man’s lunch, prepared by my wife who told me not to eat out. Not a bad taste, if I say so myself.”
Of course, it was simply rye bread with a slightly pungent cheese filling.
“Why are you offering this to me?”
“Isn’t it because I split it to share it with you?”

I could not understand.
I had warned this man that I would not show him any favors even if he acted this way. Surely then, this act held no meaning.
Why would someone who did not know me well like my friends act this way? Why show kindness without expecting any repayment? My dim-witted self could not comprehend it.

“Go on and eat. It won’t spoil, at least.”
Not wishing to trample on his heart, I took a bite of the bread as it was.
The crust was rough and the inside stale, the cheese overpoweringly strong in aroma. And yet, it tasted nostalgic in a way. Not the bread or cheese themselves, but something inherent in the act itself stirred nostalgia.

“…Thank you for the meal.”
“Is your throat not parched? I brought a bit of wine…”
“I am alright.”
For now, I did not wish to drink alcohol. For I did not want to use it as an excuse to unearth what I had buried within myself.
“Next time, I shall be the one treating you.”
“Heheh, this old man is being spoiled in his twilight years.”
“There is no issue in partaking of what one rightly deserves.”

I rose to head to my next destination. And being beside this old man, I grew afraid I might end up unburdening some dreary tale upon him.

“Well now, does that not apply to you as well, my lord?”
At those words, I turned my head to look at the old man.
“What do you mean?”
“Heheh…This old man was simply speaking nonsense out of embarrassment.”

Yes. This old man could not possibly know me. Moreover, only a handful knew of that incident. This old man had simply spoken nonsense out of embarrassment.
“However, might this old man make a small request instead of you repaying that favor…?”
“If it is a small request…”
“It regards the girl who was disrespectful to you yesterday.”

This old man was surely referring to the white-haired woman who had brought me those documents yesterday. Cecilia, was it?
By objective standards, she could be considered quite beautiful.
A young woman capable of representing others was uncommon, so she had left quite an impression.

“The adventurers’ guild where that girl works is down this street to the right. Quite the A-rank adventurer, you see.”
“That statement does not constitute a request.”
“Would you go to that place and observe that girl at work?”

It was not an unscrupulous request, nor a difficult one to fulfill. Moreover, I could not comprehend how fulfilling it would benefit this old man in any way.

“I shall accept that modest request.”
“And one more thing, my lord… Do you perhaps have a type of woman you favor?”
“I do not particularly look at appearances like faces, but…”

I gazed at the horrific hand that had once been drenched in blood. And recalling the owner of that blood, I continued my answer.

“…someone who can stubbornly forge ahead. Someone who can grasp my pitiful hand and guide me. Someone with the audacity to shatter anything obstructing their path.”
“Oho…”
“And someone who smiles often would be nice.”
“Heheh, quite the tall order.”

Once again, I could not comprehend this old man’s words.