The Terminally-Ill Lord Desires Hospice Care

Awakened by the chirping of some nameless bird, I opened my eyes again. No matter how many times I hear them, I will likely never learn those birds’ names.

“Geez, you’re even sulking while watching birds now, really.”
The raven snorted, then scratched its beak with its talons as it vented its displeasure at me.
“…I merely felt a brief gratitude that they allowed me to wake early.”
“Did you ever buy me so much as a fruit for saving your life?”
“If I see something suitable on my way back, I shall purchase it for you.”
“You nearly got yourself killed by going out, and now you want to go out again?”
“My collapse was due to neglecting my medicine. It had nothing to do with going outside.”
“Until just the other day you were a drunkard, so that means rest at home, you dimwit.”

Ordinarily, I would have rested at home, but today I could not possibly do so.
Yet explaining all those circumstances seemed unsightly and pathetic, so I did not feel the need.

“I shall return later.”
“Hey! Didn’t you hear me? Stay home and take your medicine, you madman!!!”
“……Come to think of it, I nearly forgot to take my medicine again.”

I scooped some medicine into my mouth before leaving the lord’s residence as the raven continued yelling for me to rest in bed.
After that, I sought out the adventurers’ guild and saw Cecilia’s back as she idly spun her pen with nothing to do.

Even as the bell on the door jingled, she did not turn around, engrossed in something as she absently responded:
“Yes, this is the adventurers’ guild. If you’re looking for a request, none are available today, so go home and put your feet up…”
“I did not come seeking a request, but rather to make one myself.”
“Oh, just a mome…!”

She tossed aside the book she had been reading and whipped her head around to confirm it was me.
“My lord, why are you here…? Were you not resting due to illness?”
“…I have recovered. Which is why I could make my way here.”
The weariness that had flattened me like a wet rag was long gone.
What remained flattened was only my wretched spirit, which was why I had come to find her.

“By the way, if you’ve come to make a request, did something happen?”
“…I wish to request an escort.”
“An escort, you say? What need is there for such in this town?”
“Is there no one capable of accepting the request?”
“Everyone has gone to the forest to subdue some horn tigers that appeared. As branch head…no, as just the branch head, I’m simply guarding this place.”

So horn tigers were formidable enough beasts to require multiple adventurers to subjugate them.
I did not know. Everything related to taking life now felt hazy to me, so I could not rashly judge.
Perhaps Rizehl was right, and I had become a monster crazed with killing. Or maybe I had already become that monster.

“But an escort, you say… It seems you would be stronger than most adventurers, myself included…”
“Is there an issue with that?”
“It’s just that I have to guard this place…”
“I request it of you.”

I practiced the ‘polite way of requesting an adventurer’ I had learned from Camilla.
Seeing the gold coins I offered, Cecilia’s eyes widened, but she soon cleared her throat, turning her head as she responded:

“W-Well, it is certainly a sizable sum for a mere escort, but I am the branch head. I absolutely cannot leave this pla…”
I put the ‘polite way of requesting an adventurer’ into practice once more.
“You could simply lock up this building and leave, could you not?”

The advantage of adventurers was their simplicity. I did not mean it derisively, but sincerely.
Unlike nobles who clung to ambiguous notions of honor and dignity, repeatedly acting in ways defying common sense, adventurers were different – and I liked that.
Was it not a more beautiful way of living, where everything boiled down to money, the means of sustenance, rather than nobles?

“Well then, please state your destination. Do you have business in the neighboring village?”
“I wish to go to the nearest riverside.”
“The river, you say…Do you perhaps intend to go fishing…?”
“Unfortunately, I have no talent for angling fish.”

Though looking puzzled, Cecilia guided me to the riverside.
After walking for about 40 minutes, unable to endure her boredom any longer, Cecilia spoke up:
“My lord, do you have any family?”
“…I did. Now, I should say I do not.”

Having abandoned the Berger estate, I could no longer introduce my mother and Rizehl as family.

“……My apologies. I should not have asked such a thing.”
“Not particularly.”

Such things no longer saddened me now. Though the story might change if I actually met and spoke with them again.
But even if I met them directly and heard any manner of verbal abuse, I doubted I could feel vivid emotion.
It would likely all seem hazy, like viewing something through fog – just like everything I felt now.

“There, we’re nearly there. If we pass through these bushes, you’ll find the river you sought.”
As Cecilia used her long knife to part the bushes, the sparkly river came into view, just as she had said.
“Indeed.”
“The village children sometimes come here to play in the water too. Of course, they have guardians accompanying them.”
“If it is used for such purposes as well, there is no reason to object.”
“Pardon…?”
“Could you turn away for a moment?”

Though looking puzzled again, Cecilia obediently turned her back.
While her back was turned, I finished my preparations and entered the water.
“Over there, my lord, just what are you doi…”

Cecilia’s eyes met my nude form. Fortunately, my lower body was submerged, though my upper body was not.

“Kyaaaaaah!!!”
“…Is my body of such a grotesque form as to elicit screams?”
“That is not the issue here!”
“Or is this river solely for children’s water play, prohibiting adults from entering?”
“No, why are you suddenly stripping naked!”

I could not understand why Cecilia was angry.
It was common sense to undress for bathing, and I wished to bathe. So I had simply undressed.

“As you can see, I am bathing.”
“But why would you need an escort just for some piddly bathing…!”
“Would it not be troublesome if some wild animal stole my clothes? I would have to return home stark naked.”
“You are showing me that very nudity right now!”
“To be precise, my lower body is not visible, so I am not fully nude…”
“That’s enough! Just bathe quickly and return!”
“I had intended to do so even if you had not said that.”

Cecilia seemed to be quite an angry person. Surely getting so angry could not be good for one’s mental health.
Though I was one to talk. With a heart that no longer resonated with anything, how could I dare lecture others?

“The center is quite deep despite appearing shallow, so be cautious.”
Though I heard her words, they did not reach my consciousness. Consumed by these nameless feelings I was experiencing, the voices of others could not possibly reach me.

I walked into the deep part of the water and slowly sank to the bottom, submerging my entire body.
Yes, this was the sensation I had wanted. Not seeing or hearing anything.
For in this water, everyone would feel the same, so in this water, I could be…not a monster.

‘…Why did I have to give birth to a monster like you?’
‘People were right! You’re just a monster!’

Even those curses could not define me as a monster in this moment.
And in that instant I could exist as a human, some great force pulled me back up to the surface.

“Are you trying to drown yourself?!”
“Ah…”
Having surfaced, I had simply become a monster again.
“I was merely bathing my body in the water for a moment.”
“What madman stays underwater for over 10 minutes!!!”
“Even if my life had been in danger.”

I had to ask, as I was truly curious.

“Would it not be unrelated to you?”
Then, a stinging pain that made my senses rattle shot through me.
“When someone’s life is at stake, how is that unrelated!”

She seemed quite agitated, forgetting even honorific speech as she furiously berated me.
“A person…”

I could not understand. To her eyes outside the water, I must have appeared a monster.
“Do you define me as a person?”
“Then are you saying you’re some kind of monkey?”

How could I explain this?
As I pondered that, the sounds of a demonic beast came from afar, ruthlessly trampling the undergrowth as it charged this way.

“Then allow me to ask again.”
A massive horn tiger burst through the nearby bushes and trees, letting out a great roar when it saw us.
“My lord, first step back. I shall deal with that monster for now…”

Using a nearby boulder as a foothold, I leapt up, retrieved my cane that I had left beside my clothes, and landed atop the head of the horn tiger that easily towered over 5 meters tall.

“Before you could even blink…”
Channeling resonance through my fingertips into the cane, I struck down upon the horn tiger’s head.
And like most foes I had faced, the horn tiger met a death leaving not even a corpse behind, simply bursting apart.

“Do you still define me as a person?”
“My lord…”
But Cecilia only turned her head, not giving any answer.
“Those clothes…”
“Ah.”

Only then did I realize the issue.
Just as I moved to retrieve my clothes and correct the issue, the adventurers pursuing the horn tiger appeared.

“The branch head…? And the lord…?”
I tried to imagine the scene from their perspective.
Cecilia, her face flushed, drenched from head to toe after being in the water.
And me, with only one foot halfway into my pants, wearing absolutely nothing else.
It was a scene anyone would misunderstand.

“…..”
But I was someone terribly ineloquent. So no matter what I said, it seemed it would only fuel further misunderstanding.
And had my fiancée not once told me this?
‘You should simply keep your mouth shut. Every word you utter only grates on people’s nerves.’

She was a wise woman. If those were her words, they were likely correct in general.

“…Cecilia. Please be sure to give me your answer to the question I asked later.”
I quietly retrieved my clothes and returned to the lord’s residence.
Of course, this led to Cecilia and I being plagued by troublesome rumors.
But even those rumors could not shake my heart as much as that one utterance from her.

“A person…”
“Geez, you blockhead…”
The raven critiqued my dimwittedness as it pecked at the nuts I had brought.