To Me, Who Doesn’t Love You

After finishing a long conversation with the woman and leaving the hospital room, Suhan didn’t feel great. Although he had anticipated that it wouldn’t be a pleasant meeting, the conversation went in an unexpected direction, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. While it was fortunate that the amount was smaller than expected, and he had resolved the debt issue to prevent further problems, Suhan couldn’t shake the strange sense of discomfort, as though something unresolved had been temporarily covered up.The middle-aged woman he met in the hospital had gone on to tell him how unfortunate his mother’s life had been. If she had been the kind of woman who treated her child like a burden, abandoning him to pursue her own life, he might have been able to purely pity himself for having such a mother.“Her mother-in-law’s dementia was severe, you know. She was even hospitalized, but they had to discharge her because she became so violent. It was almost to the point where something terrible might have happened.”It was a typical misfortune for a family struggling financially. A husband who was rarely home, and a senile old woman who, when lucid, would lament that she should die soon, only to suddenly lash out with surprising strength for someone at death’s door. And a child, used to hiding his presence, crouched quietly in fear from a very young age.His mother, now almost fifty herself, would still flinch and tremble uncontrollably whenever she saw a dementia patient.Why do some people, as if they are magnets for misfortune, find themselves endlessly entangled in bad luck? His mother worked tirelessly with the hope of bringing her son back, but all her hard-earned efforts were swallowed up by others. A victim of a massive financial scam targeting those with little financial literacy, she even resorted to taking out private loans to pay off the immediate debt interest. No matter how much she paid, the never-ending interest kept growing, and after working tirelessly to pay it off, all she was left with was a body that had deteriorated beyond repair.It was hard to pinpoint exactly where things had gone wrong, so deeply rooted was the misfortune. In the end, all that remained was a bank account with a negative balance. Even the debt collectors who came to the hospital had extended their reach to her estranged son, whom she hadn’t had the face to contact.And despite her son’s paying off the debt that had accumulated while his mother couldn’t work, and covering medical bills that would otherwise have gone unpaid, he never once visited her. It was as though he had resolved not to feel any sympathy for the woman who had abandoned him.Suhan thought he could understand that sentiment, even if only a little. The moment he tried to understand what circumstances might have led his mother to abandon him, what kind of life she had lived, and how painfully obvious it was that her life remained miserable after that, he could no longer define or resent her purely as an evil person. Perhaps that was why he locked everything about her away in a box, never to be opened, and stashed it deep in some mental storage.“You were nothing but a leech until the end, making sure your son was harassed by creditors even as you were dying, just to get more money from him. Resentment is painful, but it’s a way to ease the mind. Instead of facing the wounds and suffering, it gives a sense of having done your duty, and lets you throw away the burden on your heart.”As Suhan left the hospital and made his way home, it continued to rain steadily. The sky had been gloomy in the morning and remained a thick shade of gray even into the evening when Yeonseo got home from work.“Did everything go well?”Seeing Suhan, who was deep in thought even as he opened the front door and entered, Yeonseo asked cautiously. He was still afraid when Suhan showed behavior that was different from usual. Did Suhan remember something? Did he start hating him because of it?Pulled out of his long thoughts by Yeonseo’s voice, Suhan quickly gathered his wits and replied.“Ah, yeah. Thankfully, it wasn’t anything serious.”Though it was a simple sentence, the mood it left behind was far from pleasant. As Yeonseo continued to look at him with worry, Suhan smiled bitterly, got up from the sofa, and approached Yeonseo. His now noticeably recovered, strong body lightly embraced Yeonseo.“Why? Were you worried something happened to me?”“How could I not worry?”“I told you I’d let you know if anything came up.”Suhan, sounding slightly sulky, pressed his warm body against Yeonseo’s chest. His heart pounded, even though it felt like they were long past the stage of being shy around each other. Suhan liked the feeling. He found it so endearing that Yeonseo’s heart still fluttered because of him, not because of anything else, but simply because he was “Lee Suhan.”Feeling mischievous, Suhan had the sudden urge to tease Yeonseo a little, but the heavy fatigue holding him back made him give up and release him from his arms. No, if they started rolling around before dinner, he might just fall asleep. Even though he hadn’t done anything particularly exhausting, Suhan found himself overwhelmed by drowsiness and asked for dinner as quickly as possible.“The amount wasn’t much, and it wasn’t someone who had a bad relationship with my mother, so it’s all sorted. Let’s eat quickly; I’m starving.”During the meal, conversation flowed naturally, even without any significant topic being brought up. Discussions about where things were bought, what was in season, where the best seasonal fruits could be found, and what was being cultivated where. The boundary between daily life and work blurred into comfortable conversation until it was time to clear the dishes.“I’ll take care of the dishes. Go ahead and wash up.”As Suhan rinsed the stacked dishes at the sink, Yeonseo quickly shook his head.“No, I’ll do it. You go rest on the sofa.”Reluctantly returning to the sofa after Yeonseo insisted, Suhan sat down, rubbing his stiff lower back. Now that he was full, he wasn’t just feeling sleepy; a warm drowsiness began to wash over him. He regretted not taking a quick nap before Yeonseo came home. With a hint of regret, his heavy eyelids began to close as he listened to the sound of dishes being washed and knocked together.* * *On days when Suhan heard the sound of breaking dishes as soon as he came home from school, it was always a bad day. Young Suhan sighed and glared at the thin door that did little to block out the cold or noise. He didn’t want to go in, but if he didn’t stop his grandmother, he knew he would end up being the one to clean up the mess. Counting silently to himself—one, two, three—he opened the door.‘Granny, did you break another dish?’How long had it been since she brought home those dishes that Mrs. Song from upstairs was about to throw away? Suhan yelled irritably, and his grandmother, crouching among the shards, muttered under her breath.‘That brat, the child of the woman who abandoned her kid, has no manners…’Her muttering devolved into a stream of crude curses, but ten-year-old Suhan ignored her as if he was used to it and went to get the dustpan and broom stashed by the wardrobe to clean up the mess. His grandmother often said strange things like that, but he knew she didn’t mean them. She was just sick, that’s all. Over and over, every day, she would convince herself that she was the most miserable and unfortunate person in the world, and that everything was against her.‘Move over a bit, would you? I need to sweep there, too.’Suhan pushed his grandmother aside without a second thought and carefully cleaned up the shards, even those that had gone under the wardrobe. After throwing such tantrums, his grandmother would always cry for a long time. The sound of her sobbing, combined with the constant fighting from the young couple upstairs and the endless wailing of ambulance and police sirens outside their cramped, underground apartment, was the only world Suhan had ever known.Why do adults cry after getting angry, unable to control their own emotions? What makes them so upset? Even though Suhan had grown accustomed to the daily shouting, he still couldn’t figure it out. A house where mold covered the ceiling and water dripped down the walls in winter. Suhan knew he should be grateful they weren’t out on the streets, but it wasn’t until he started school that he realized not everyone lived like this.The house had never been a comforting place for Suhan. Random objects often flew through the air, and his mother would hold him for a long time, apologizing in tears, only to never return. The constant sound of fighting echoing through the walls left Suhan with a weary look, and his shabby, out-of-season clothes—due to lack of care—gave him a new label to carry.‘Suhan, can you give me your parents’ contact information?’When the homeroom teacher asked in an insistent tone, Suhan had no answer. The only contact number, the home phone, had long been disconnected for unpaid bills after his mother left. Even his grandmother didn’t know which number could reach his father.Whenever a well-meaning new teacher tried to help, voices nearby would stop them. “Mr. Park, don’t dig too deep. His father…” Even those who liked to show kindness wouldn’t risk their own safety to intervene. Sometimes violence was closer than the law, and saving a child who had been branded as ‘that kind of kid’ or ‘a kid who deserves it’ required courage akin to risking one’s life.Suhan grew used to the way others treated him.He was rejected by people who didn’t want to associate with him, and those who feared getting involved with him avoided and distanced themselves. These experiences made Suhan’s world smaller. So, it’s true—you can’t hide it when your parents are no good. To protect himself, Suhan chose to shut the world out first. If anyone reached out, he’d claw back. If someone spoke to him, he kept his mouth shut. If they provoked him or insulted him, he acted just like the neglected child they imagined he was.Every time those well-raised kids cried and begged, tears and snot running down their expensive clothes, Suhan felt a satisfaction in proving that such things were utterly worthless.When incidents repeat themselves, they eventually become a mirror reflecting the person involved, showing that they will always act that way. Throughout the six years of his schooling, Suhan was constantly summoned to meetings that involved parents, but his parents never once came to school. As Suhan watched the other kids leave, holding their parents’ hands, the only lesson he learned was this: No matter what I do, my father will never come to save me.It was the same when his grandmother passed away. When Suhan returned from school, she had already stopped breathing. Suhan knew he should call the police or an ambulance, but he had no way to contact them. The few neighbors had all locked their doors and left, so Suhan wandered alone for a long time before going out to the main road to ask a passerby to borrow their phone. His father only showed up after a kind neighbor upstairs helped handle the situation.‘Where’s Grandma?’‘She’s dead.’Watching his father, who seemed genuinely shocked and promised to change, Suhan thought, It’s too late for things to go back to how they were before everything happened.At least his father’s repentance didn’t end with empty words. One day, his father started coming home every day, paying off overdue bills, fixing broken appliances, and making phone calls, humbly trying to fix things.But his father’s bold promise to get them out of the moldy house as soon as he found a new job was left unfulfilled for over half a year. By the time Suhan was barely ten, he already understood that some people with certain labels must work hard to prove that they’ll never return to the path of normalcy. It wasn’t surprising that his father struggled to find a new job.‘Suhan, if I can just keep this job, we can move out, okay?’Then his father stopped coming home again. Meanwhile, Suhan had retaliated against another classmate’s insults.His father had promised to change. Maybe this time would be different. For the first time, when asked for an emergency contact, Suhan provided his father’s mobile number, only to be let down again. Of course, you’re always like this. While the other kids went home, holding their parents’ hands, Suhan had to kneel in a corner of the teacher’s office, waiting for his father, who never came, until the teacher stopped using the waiting as a form of punishment.Two weeks later, his father returned, dragging a limp leg and celebrating. ‘We’re moving! Middle school means you’ll need a uniform, right? We can even afford a nice one now. You won’t have to bow to those thug teachers anymore, okay?’ But Suhan swallowed the words he couldn’t say: I never wanted any of that.When Suhan found out that the reason his father hadn’t answered the teacher’s call was because he had been saving the child of some important person, Suhan’s heart broke again.What Suhan had longed for, more than anything, was proof that he wasn’t just some forgotten child. He had wanted, even just once, for someone to rescue him from that office where he couldn’t escape alone.At the extravagant house by the sea his father took him to, when Suhan met the child his father had saved, he wanted to crush that naive face. A home with running water, clean pipes, instant hot water from the faucet, and no drafty winds seeping in. A good car. Proud parents who cherished that child above all else.Standing in front of someone who effortlessly had everything Suhan never even glimpsed, the first feeling that welled up inside him was rage. Was I envious? Envy was a feeling that came when there was hope or an expectation that one could achieve the same. Suhan only wanted to see that weak, short kid cry after being robbed of everything.Seeing that innocence—someone for whom these expectations were as natural as breathing—made Suhan want to shatter it. Fortunately, Suhan wasn’t too young to realize that playing nice with that spoiled kid would keep him out of the neighborhood where police cars regularly patrolled.Need a laptop?When that kid, oblivious to his privilege, offered his charity, and Suhan’s response led to a slap in front of everyone, Suhan clenched his teeth, forcing back the tears.If he could just endure all this long enough, would a day finally come when he’d be free from all these degrading insults? A time when he could throw away his father and this miserable house as if none of it had ever existed? No one could know. The only thing keeping Suhan going was the hope that maybe that day would come.Even when the rich kid was exposed as just the son of an assistant, publicly humiliated in class, even when Suhan was reprimanded because Yeonseo had caught a cold, even when Suhan was falsely accused of theft and investigated, Suhan sometimes found himself wishing for an end to it all. He’d walk toward the deep ocean but always ended up turning back. Why should I die? A small, pale hand crept into the gap in his heart. Even in the freezing sea, Suhan couldn’t escape the warm body that clung to him.One day, that infuriating kid—completely unaware of the world’s malice—would ask Suhan for help, trusting him completely. If Suhan rejected that hand, would it finally calm this festering rage? Would it feel good? You should feel the despair of hitting rock bottom at least once. It’s not fair that life is this hard only for me. But even as he harbored these twisted thoughts, the kid clung to Suhan’s waist, not letting go.Suhan, who had never received unconditional affection, even from his parents, found himself unable to fully hate or accept Yeonseo. I hate you so much. I want you to fall into a hell where you’re constantly struggling, like I’ve always had to. Yet, despite himself, Suhan would pull Yeonseo’s clothes tighter to keep him from catching a cold and let him sleep in his bed when he was too scared to sleep alone. Being loved was an unfamiliar sensation.Though he had never wanted it, he couldn’t reject it either.Suhan quickly realized that Yeonseo wasn’t just following him out of simple admiration. Children aren’t good at hiding their emotions, and Suhan was sharp enough to read the meaning behind such obvious behavior.He couldn’t understand it. Why would someone who seemed to always get whatever they wanted show such interest in someone like him, who had nothing to be envious of? Suhan wanted to ignore the boy whose thoughts were both transparent and incomprehensible at the same time, but he couldn’t because of the circumstances.There was no harm in pretending to be nice if he just closed his eyes and went along with it. Even though he reluctantly spent time with Yeonseo, resentment continued to grow within him. I’m not as great or as impressive as you think, Suhan thought. Won’t you get tired of me eventually? It was a strange feeling. When Yeonseo wasn’t around, Suhan was bothered, but when he was, it annoyed him. When he was close, Suhan felt uncomfortable; when he was far away, Suhan was anxious, afraid that Yeonseo might lose interest in someone as insignificant as him.Finally, just as his father had done, Suhan found his life saved by Yeonseo’s small hand. At that point, he decided to hide his wavering feelings, which even he couldn’t control. If even a hint of his true self were revealed, he felt like those clear, innocent eyes would see right through him. Suhan’s world was filled with discarded things, unlike Yeonseo’s world, where he had grown up in a perfect environment, free from anything dirty, ugly, or dark.You have no idea, Suhan thought. You don’t know what kind of household I survived in.Yeonseo had no idea what it was like to live in a home where, almost every day, the sound of breaking objects and someone getting hit echoed, yet the neighbors quietly ignored it as families moved in and out constantly. A house where every time it rained, Suhan worried about how far the water would rise. If Yeonseo ever succeeded in peeking into his world and reacted with shock at Suhan’s shabby appearance, everything Suhan had worked so hard to build would crumble in an instant. He hadn’t fought tooth and nail just to earn this kid’s pity.Once I get to high school, I’ll live in a dorm. I just have to endure a little longer. Compared to that one-room apartment, where he had to worry about leaks and short circuits whenever it rained, he could handle anything else. He pretended not to know, acted as if he didn’t understand, even though it was all obvious. Despite showing only the polite, good side of himself—hiding the real Lee Suhan—Yeonseo still wouldn’t leave.Genetic Test ReportSuhan checked the report, desperately hoping for ordinary, unremarkable results like everyone else. But, as usual, the results were far from what he wanted. Why do these things keep happening to me? The words that living as an Omega was a “special experience” didn’t even register. It felt like the entire world was mocking him. He had never stopped fighting to escape this wretched situation, but just when he thought he had overcome one hurdle, the finish line, which had seemed so close, suddenly stretched far beyond his reach. It was as if the world was testing how much more he could struggle.What choice do I have? I can’t stop now. I have to keep walking, no—running, hoping that someday this suffocating, endless race will finally come to an end.In high school, where most students came from families that held positions of power in society, the mockery Suhan endured was far harsher than anything the rural kids used to throw at him. Rumors spread through the hallways—about his background, his genes, and how he got into the school on a corporate scholarship. It felt like everyone’s eyes followed him, scrutinizing his every move.For the first time since enrolling, Suhan received grades lower than anything he had ever seen before.‘So much for being the scholarship genius. Looks like all that hype about coming from some backwater school was just noise.’Even though Suhan didn’t want to hear it, the whispers reached him clearly. Did you not score higher than the special-track kids even with a tutor? What a waste. He quickly realized that “special-track” or “special scholarship student” was a derogatory nickname they used for him.They made a spectacle of his grades, which were supposed to be private, laughing as if they were a measure of his humanity.When Suhan discovered that it was none other than his teacher—someone who should have been the most impartial person—who had leaked his grades, something inside him snapped. His pride, which had been barely holding him together, crumbled.Having already set foot in this world, there was no turning back. He had to endure. He didn’t have parents who could pay for expensive weekend tutoring or hire college prep coaches to secure the best path to university. All Suhan could rely on was his academic performance. He cut back on sleep, pushing himself until his head spun, and slowly, his grades climbed back to the top. He had no time to think about anything else.No one will protect me, so I have to protect myself. Unlike the pampered sons and daughters who complained at every opportunity, Suhan had no safety net. If he didn’t keep running, he would fall behind. He never had a single second to question whether the path he was on was the right one.Finally, the day came when Suhan received top grades again. Though he didn’t care about others’ validation, for the first time, he allowed himself to feel a brief moment of pride, thinking that maybe, just maybe, they would stop looking down on him. But then he overheard the whispers behind his back.‘He’s still an Omega, right? What’s he going to do after graduation, become some CEO’s second wife?’‘Maybe he got those grades by trading favors with the physics teacher.’‘Ugh, I want to throw up just thinking about it.’And just like that, the thread holding Suhan together snapped. Surrounded by students too afraid to intervene, he stood over the classmate who had mocked him moments earlier. The boy was cowering beneath him, arms raised to protect his face, unable to fight back. The teacher was sprinting down the hallway, looking horrified.‘Maybe instead of wasting hundreds on tutoring just to lose to an Omega, you should spend that time studying, you piece of—’Suhan didn’t care that the boy couldn’t even respond as he took the beating.It’s better this way. Suhan thought. If they know that messing with me doesn’t end in just a verbal spat, they’ll think twice. Fists are often faster than the law, after all. They won’t mock me so easily now.He knew he might get expelled for this, but he no longer cared.Surprisingly, Suhan’s punishment was light: just a week of school service. When the disciplinary committee meeting concluded, he was confronted by a face he hadn’t expected to see. And for the first time, Suhan felt an overwhelming sense of shame that he couldn’t hide.‘Suhan, are you okay? I heard everything. There were kids spreading terrible rumors about you from the start. Why didn’t you tell me or anyone else?’Yeonseo’s mother had come to the school. It was something Suhan had never experienced—someone showing up to defend a troublemaker. She took him to a restaurant far from the school and quietly grilled meat while Suhan stared at the glowing embers without picking up his chopsticks. And then, in a tone she had probably never used with anyone else, she said:‘Sometimes it feels like the world is testing how much I can take. When it does, I curse and move on. Clinging to that frustration only hurts me, because no one else cares how hard I’m struggling.’No. You don’t know, Suhan thought. You don’t know anything about the half-basement world that clings to me like a shadow.He held back the urge to say that out loud, and the woman smiled kindly as she filled his plate with side dishes.‘So don’t overthink it. It’s your life to live. Don’t let what others say weigh you down.’She surely had her own struggles. But Suhan couldn’t shake the thought: Could her hardships even begin to compare to mine? Still, when she dropped him back at the dorm and handed over the things she had packed for him, just like any other parent would, Suhan found himself unable to refuse her gesture.‘Come visit me at home sometime. They say you can stay out on weekends. Yeonseo really misses you.’The moment I heard that familiar name, the brief feeling of comfort I had almost felt like it was going to collapse. I couldn’t shake the thought that this person was being kind to me for some ulterior motive. Because his son follows me. I had known for a long time that the overwhelming affection I experienced at times was not simply a matter of friendship.‘Yes, please go in.’With a deliberately calm expression, I sent the lady away. Suhan entered the bathroom without even taking off his clothes, feeling an unbearable disgust towards himself, and splashed cold water over his head. He continued to douse himself with water until the other student who entered the shared shower was startled and stepped back. Yeonseo’s presence constantly reminded Suhan of a painful truth.No matter how much you struggle, you will never escape a life where you are dominated and subjugated by someone.The oppressive legacy that felt like a chain following me until death was terrifyingly burdensome. When would I be able to sever this annoying connection? Suhan wanted to wipe away everything he had received from his parents or from those his parents served. Yet he knew all too well that he could not live the life he wanted without those paltry help and privileges.If he refused the support from Seosang, he had no way to cover his tuition at the school he was currently attending. Where would he sleep? How would he cover his living expenses? Even if he found a job as a high school student, it would still be daunting. It was clear that it was nearly impossible for a high school student to rent a place alone, earn living expenses, and study at the same time. Even if he somehow managed to do all of that, it would be difficult for Suhan to reach the academic achievements he desired.Suhan chose his ambition over his meager pride. He had no choice but to do so. He didn’t want to return to that cramped room, so he had to sacrifice something. What Suhan gave up was his pride. With a determination that he would live a life different from his parents.That winter. In the final exam of his first year, Suhan finally achieved the rank he desired. With grades that even the teachers could no longer ignore under the protection of the Seosang Group’s lady, no one could dare to speak ill of Suhan anymore. The fact that the son of a fairly wealthy family had been beaten yet was wrapped up as school service also played a significant role.Before being promoted to the second year, Suhan had a meal with Yeonseo’s parents, who came to congratulate him over the weekend. They remarked that it was impressive that he had never even attended a proper academy. Competing among formidable ‘friends’ must not have been easy. What he heard with one ear and let flow out the other were compliments, and what returned was an unexpected proposal.‘I thought it was a shame to lose a talent like Suhan to another company. How about it? Would you consider it?’He couldn’t refuse. It was a dream he had never wished for a moment. In exchange for covering all expenses for his stay and studies abroad at the highest level, they proposed that after graduation, he join the headquarters and act as a talent to lead Seosang. Suhan couldn’t help but nod at the proposal. It was easy to discard his pride, but the price that came with it was incredibly sweet. Enjoying things he would never have grasped without Seosang, Suhan found himself unable to return to his previous life.It’s okay. You can do it. You can endure it. After graduating from high school, Suhan boarded a flight to Europe without attending any family gatherings under the pretext of adjusting to the local environment, and for a brief moment, he was able to enjoy the freedom he had long dreamed of. The realization that this comfortable life was obtained at the cost of future subjugation tightened around his heart at the moments he felt most at ease, but he could bear it.Even when he finally learned of Yeonseo’s genetic test results, which he had intentionally avoided asking about for a long time, Suhan managed to hold on without collapsing. He was now a talented individual with a degree from a prestigious university overseas, someone companies were eager to recruit, no longer the miserable thirteen-year-old boy who was trampled upon with no one to stand up for him.Even if he were to be abandoned by Seosang, he could move to another company. If they retaliated against him for not following Seosang’s wishes, he could simply get a job at a foreign company. No matter how powerful Seosang was, they couldn’t exert pressure on every company in the world.The complacent expectation he had was shattered when he returned home for a brief visit after completing his bachelor’s degree.‘I’m back here again…’He couldn’t rent a separate room for just a short visit. Suhan stayed at a hotel for a few days, then headed to a villa in Gangneung at the couple’s suggestion, who said they would gather the family, including the big house’s occupants, to see Yeonseo off before his departure. The villa, which he hadn’t visited in a long time, was eerily quiet, with no one around except for a caretaker who came to clean a couple of times a month.Of course, it was still an excessively large house for three families, but it was just a two-story villa. Why did it look like an impregnable fortress back when he was a child? After years of neglect, Suhan laughed hollowly as he looked at the guesthouse that had become almost a storage facility.This little space once felt like something he could never escape from, no matter how hard he tried. As he briefly sunk into bittersweet memories, rain began to pour heavily from the sky, which had been gloomy for a while.The rain continued to fall without end. Thunder struck as if the sky bore a grudge, and the communication lines flickered intermittently. Fortunately, the villa was elevated enough to avoid flooding, but wasn’t this a rather dangerous situation? When Suhan contacted the couple, they said they wouldn’t arrive until late tomorrow evening. That meant he would have to stay alone in this house until tomorrow night. Suhan occupied the guest room and opened a book he hadn’t finished reading on the plane.No matter how accustomed to learning he was, reading a foreign book written in a language other than English was slower and required him to break down the content word by word. How long had he been hunched over the pages? Overcome by fatigue, Suhan closed the book and got ready for bed. As he closed his eyes, the noise from when he had lived in this house as a guest seeped into his ears.‘You have to leave soon. Did you pack the young master’s things? How’s the homework today? Don’t push him too hard; he has a cold.’In the moment he awoke in a cold sweat from a nightmare that reminded him that no matter how talented he pretended to be, he was merely dancing on the palms of Yeonseo and his parents, Suhan checked his unusually flushed cheeks and heat before heading to the bathroom.‘Ah, damn it.’It hadn’t come for a while, so he thought he was fine. Suhan searched for the suppressant he kept in his bag for emergencies and swallowed it dry. The bitterness of the pill seemed to warn him not to forget who he was. I know. I know full well that I’m in a position where I’m treated as a future daughter-in-law. I hated myself for not being able to escape Seosang.Yet who could point fingers at him? Try enduring in a leaky house like that. As a child, Suhan couldn’t accept that the sound of rain created an enchanting atmosphere for others. When the floor filled with water, he hurried to scoop it out with a dustpan, while the damp linoleum that had long floated above the floor emitted a foul odor every time he stepped on it. Only Suhan could blame himself as a petty person.Suhan lay down on the bed, feeling dizzy from the heat, as if the medication was too late to take effect. Having swallowed several times the recommended dose, it should calm down by tomorrow. He clenched his teeth against the sensations he couldn’t control, put on a sleep mask to completely block out his vision, and tried to fall asleep again.Rustle. Thud. Thud.Then, the moment he sensed footsteps and a presence that should not have been heard in his dreams. The door opened in the darkness, and someone roughly grabbed Suhan by the nape of his neck and pinned him down. Damn. Damn. Damn. I was disgusted with myself for not being able to even struggle against the one nauseating smell. No matter how much I struggled, I was still an omega, and it felt like a curse that I would never escape this filthy fate. Suhan bit down hard until he bled, using his nails to stab into his palm to regain his senses. Then, he grabbed the nearest lamp post and swung it.‘Cough, damn, you crazy bastard, g…!’Without a word, the big house didn’t say when they would come, and there was only one alpha in this house who would dare to touch him. In a fierce struggle with the intruder, Suhan bumped into a bedside table, causing a vase to fall to the floor.As soon as he caught a glimpse of the large shard of the broken vase through the small opening in his mask. Suhan clenched the shard and thrust it toward the nearest target. Taking advantage of the intruder’s moment of hesitation, Suhan quickly threw away what he held and dashed out. He had no idea what he would do if caught, but he was afraid of being exposed, so he ran without thinking.‘Damn it. You’re going to die, you bastard!’