To Me, Who Doesn’t Love You

Finally, the day of the presentation had arrived. The event, where Suhan would take the stage as the main presenter, was held in the grand auditorium of Seosang Group’s headquarters.It had been pouring rain since the morning. The weather, though summer, was quite cool, and the sky was covered in thick clouds, far from being sunny. The gloomy, almost ominous weather made Yeonseo feel uneasy, and he watched Suhan rehearse on stage with concern. If any problems arose, he could step in as the secondary presenter and handle the questions Suhan couldn’t answer. But, ideally, Suhan would complete the presentation smoothly and professionally without any issues.Yeonseo was worried about how many eyes were watching them. Still, part of him believed that Suhan, as he was now, could handle situations that would be difficult for most people. Before losing his memory, Suhan had been sharp and difficult to approach, someone you hesitated to help because of the distance he created. But the current Suhan was someone you couldn’t help but want to rely on, someone who could spoil you with his dependability.‘Everything will be fine.’With just a reassuring smile from Suhan, it felt like any problem could be resolved. If this presentation went well, maybe they could continue working and living peacefully together, even if Suhan’s memory never returned. Yeonseo caught himself wishing for this without even realizing it, and then snapped out of it. No, at least he shouldn’t be the one thinking that way.Yeonseo thought back to a time long ago when he and Suhan had trudged home soaked to the bone in freezing seawater. Looking back, it was reckless of him to jump into waters deeper than his height to stop Suhan. If Suhan had lost consciousness or if both of them had been swept away by the waves, they might have died that day.But when Yeonseo saw Suhan heading deeper into the water, he couldn’t think about anything else. He couldn’t let Suhan go, afraid that, like his brother, he might disappear forever. There was no time to consider the danger. And now, the situation wasn’t much different. Yeonseo knew this might not be the perfect solution, but he felt desperate to hold onto Suhan and prevent him from disappearing into a place he couldn’t reach.As Yeonseo struggled to shake off his unease, Suhan, oddly enough, seemed to be in a great mood. He had been humming to himself that morning and didn’t seem nervous at all. In fact, he looked so relaxed that Yeonseo was a bit taken aback. Even though they both knew there was no use in worrying after doing everything they could, Yeonseo’s heart still hadn’t caught up with his mind, and he felt somewhat confused.Suddenly, Yeonseo recalled a missed message that had been stored on Suhan’s phone. He had no idea who the sender was or what Suhan had been preparing with them. Although Yeonseo didn’t want to doubt Suhan, who had no memory, he had kept the message hidden in his briefcase. But now, he wondered if Suhan already knew about it. Perhaps Suhan had discussed something with Chef Lim last time. Was he able to stay so calm because he knew everything?Still struggling with his inner turmoil, Yeonseo sat down in a reserved seat in front of the stage and glanced up at Suhan. Without a care, Suhan winked playfully at him.“….”There was no denying how striking Suhan looked, smiling with his handsome face. Wearing a suit tailored for the presentation, Suhan was the most dashing person in the room. He had the looks and skills of someone who could charm people just by his presence. With his neatly combed hair and confident eyes, he looked every bit like a professional.But only Yeonseo and one other person knew that this so-called professional had been cramming materials into his blank mind in a rush over the past few weeks. Just as Yeonseo thought of the old saying, “speak of the devil,” someone caught his eye.‘It would’ve been better if that person hadn’t come.’It couldn’t be helped, though, as the person was a broadcast expert closely tied to Seosang Group. This person had worked with Suhan for the longest time in the broadcasting industry, so Yeonseo couldn’t interfere with their relationship. However, it was natural for him to be wary, especially since this person had relayed Chef Lim’s invitation to Suhan.“It’s been a while, Yeonseo. How have you been?”Arriving earlier than the others, PD Cho greeted him with a smile, unaware of Yeonseo’s discomfort. Though Yeonseo didn’t feel like responding warmly, he knew better than to alienate the only person who shared Suhan’s secret.“Hello.”“You’re still as composed as ever, huh? You gave off such a calm impression when I saw you at the event too.”“And you sure do talk a lot.” Yeonseo silently watched PD Cho, who had naturally taken the seat beside him, with a reluctant expression. Should he ask him to move to a different table since this was the reserved seating? While Yeonseo hesitated, Suhan, having finished the mic check and rehearsal, came down from the stage and approached them.“Oh, PD Cho, you’re early.”“Yes, I left early thinking there might be traffic, but I ended up arriving way too soon.”“We’ve got a bit of time, so would you like to grab a coffee? There’s a really nice café on the first floor.”“Oh, that sounds great. I was hoping you’d suggest that.”The whole time they headed down to the café with Yeonseo in tow, Suhan and PD Cho chatted away like old friends who had known each other for over ten years.“Oh, by the way, do you want to try this with your coffee later? One of our staff brought it back from a trip, and it’s really good as a tea snack.”“What is it? Oh, that looks nice.”Listening to the extroverts’ endless conversation, Yeonseo felt his energy draining just from hearing it.“Yeonseo, what do you want? A latte or an iced Americano?”“Iced Americano is fine, just iced Americano. I’ll have a latte.”“Then I’ll have a latte too.”Watching their easy-going banter made it seem like they had no worries at all. Was everything really okay like this? As if sensing Yeonseo’s lingering doubts, PD Cho chuckled as Suhan went to pick up the tray.“What are you so worried about?”Yeonseo couldn’t understand what PD Cho meant by that. In fact, there wasn’t a single thing not to be worried about. Suhan’s memory could return at any time, and despite living this happy life, they were hiding the fact that Suhan had lost his memory from the company. Yeonseo didn’t want to answer a question so casually thrown at him by someone who didn’t understand the situation.“….”As Yeonseo kept silent, pressing his lips together, PD Cho smiled and made a pointed comment.“Don’t worry too much. Suhan’s good at his job, quick on his feet, and resourceful. He’ll handle things just fine.”Right then, Suhan returned with the tray and asked, noticing the tension between Yeonseo and PD Cho.“What’s going on? Were you talking behind my back? Why’s the mood so serious?”Laughing at the joke, PD Cho responded playfully.“Oh no, you caught us. Did you hear everything? Yeonseo and I were supposed to keep it a secret between us.”Yeonseo didn’t play along with PD Cho’s joke and answered a bit curtly.“That’s not what happened.”“Pfft.”Feeling like he was being teased by the two, Yeonseo took his coffee with a somewhat sullen expression. Suhan, noticing this, stared at him for a moment and then smiled again. With that handsome face smiling like that, Suhan probably thought everything would be forgiven and forgotten. They didn’t have time to linger over coffee and chat, so they returned the tray and headed back to the auditorium. As they walked, Suhan leaned in close to Yeonseo, speaking softly enough for only him to hear.“Something really good is going to happen later, so you can look forward to it.”What kind of trouble was he planning now? Even last week at his family’s place, he’d pulled off some bold stunt that nearly gave people heart attacks. Yeonseo had no idea what Suhan meant by “something good.” Could it be that his memory had returned? But that wouldn’t be purely “good news” for Yeonseo.His heart started to race nervously. As the presentation time approached, the tables in the auditorium began filling up with employees and external guests.Before long, a screen descended from the ceiling, and the lights in the audience dimmed to a minimum. Suhan, illuminated by the lights descending from above as if an actor had taken the stage, looked stunning enough to leave anyone who saw him spellbound.“Wow… he looks even better in person. I didn’t realize he was that handsome when I saw him on the broadcast.”His trustworthy appearance seemed like it could overshadow even top models, and murmurs of admiration filled the room. At the same time, Suhan confirmed it was finally time to start the presentation. With a gentle smile, he took the microphone.“Good afternoon, everyone. Thank you for attending the 202X second half new business proposal presentation. I am Lee Suhan, the head of the food and beverage planning division. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”Despite the fact that it had been a while since anyone had seen him, there wasn’t a single person who didn’t recognize Suhan. After all, he was the most famous person among the employees of the Seosang Group, but many had also gathered here to check on the recent activities of Suhan, who had suddenly taken a leave of absence and had been unreachable for almost half a year. It was only natural that everyone’s attention was focused on him as he returned to the public eye.“What’s going on? I heard he was sick, but he looks perfectly fine.”“Is he dealing with something serious, like cancer or something?”“Well, you’d be able to tell just from looking at him if that were the case.”As the murmurs began along with the presentation, Suhan naturally moved to the front of the podium and stood in front of the screen. Despite having been away from the field for a while, his content was flawless, and he effectively communicated with the audience while effortlessly moving in front of the screen, demonstrating ideal presenter qualities with calm and restrained gestures that captured everyone’s attention. Within just five minutes of the presentation, the preconceived notion that Suhan had been on a long leave disappeared from everyone’s minds as if erased with an eraser.“I believe the item you just presented is currently being developed by Well-C Food as well. Do you think it’s worth the risk of entering a market where a competitor has already launched first as a latecomer?”Even when questions were thrown at him, clearly aimed at attacking him from shareholders who appeared to be of considerable influence, Suhan remained unfazed.“That’s a great question. If you look at the revenue data included in the appendix, you will see that the profit scale of the product released early by Well-C Food does not significantly contribute to the overall sales of the company. Moreover, the consumer evaluations suggest that the product’s quality is lacking and does not meet the demand…”Suhan appeared well-prepared, responding with precise and meticulous answers as if he had anticipated the questions. While Yeonseo was briefly sweating behind him, having to quickly flip through pages to find the necessary materials, both he and Suhan were already well aware of which pages contained the information they needed, allowing them to proceed with the presentation smoothly without any stammering.“Thus, I conclude the presentation for the new business proposal for the second half of the year. Thank you.”Finally, as the presentation came to an end, Yeonseo locked eyes with Suhan, who was still wearing a relaxed expression. The moment he saw Suhan smile gently, Yeonseo felt his heart racing wildly, which he had kept calm until now. He felt as though his heart might literally leap out of his chest, so he quickly turned his head to avert his gaze. Suhan shrugged his shoulders, barely managing to suppress his laughter. It was all over now. He had shown everything he needed to, so it was time for everyone to head home quickly. Just as Suhan was about to declare the closing of the event…“Unless there are any more questions, I think we can wrap up…”A middle-aged man, who had been silent throughout, suddenly raised his hand.“Yes, please go ahead.”Just as Suhan was about to conclude, he wondered why the man was speaking up now. As Suhan swallowed a slight complaint internally and waited for him to continue, the man brought up an unwelcome topic.“I understand that since last year’s Kitchen Teaching, there have been no announced plans for your appearances on broadcasts. I heard that you plan to work from home in a parallel system with Manager Joo Jun-oh until early next year. Is there a particular reason you haven’t been coming to the office? I don’t think it’s the right decision for a manager to leave the company unattended for the sake of your public image. I’m concerned that you may be neglecting internal group matters to focus on personal business during the second half of the year. It would be better for you to make appearances on broadcasts to help with promotion since your personal consulting business doesn’t contribute to the company’s profits at all.”To summarize, the question was essentially asking why he hadn’t been coming to the office. With a rather direct comment, Suhan instinctively suppressed the urge to smirk and looked at the questioner before responding.“I understand your concerns, but I am not currently involved in personal consulting work. As for broadcasting appearances…”Just as Suhan was about to say that he had no plans for appearances due to personal circumstances, Joon-oh, who had been silent throughout the presentation, suddenly interrupted.“It seems that you are worried because Director Lee Suhan abruptly dropped out of a program that was scheduled for earlier this year. Fortunately, it looks like there’s a good opportunity for Director Lee Suhan to once again serve as the face of our company in advertising this coming second half of the year. Is that alright, Director Lee Suhan?”“What?”What is he talking about? A good opportunity? Suhan was taken aback. Broadcasting? Me? He reflexively widened his eyes at the unexpected news but quickly regained his composure and asked Joon-oh for clarification.“I don’t quite understand what you’re saying…”As Suhan trailed off, Juno responded with a sly smile. While he didn’t know the details of why Suhan had been inactive, he seemed confident that bringing it up here could publicly embarrass Suhan. So he had been quiet until now, only to spring this on him. Suhan felt dumbfounded and let out a silent chuckle.“Let’s hear directly from PD Cho Eunah, who is here today. If Director Lee Suhan is to appear in the upcoming season 4 of Kitchen Player airing this October, I’m sure he wouldn’t refuse, right?”“……!”“Hmm?”At that moment, the gazes of Suhan, Yeonseo, and PD Cho intersected awkwardly. How am I supposed to respond to this? It seemed that PD Cho hadn’t anticipated this situation either and was filled with embarrassment. Of course, it wouldn’t work. Yeonseo felt dizzy at the thought of how to intervene and manage this situation.The first to speak was PD Cho, who had been asked the question. Of course, for the broadcasting company, even if all Director Lee Suhan did was show his face for a moment, it would be worth it a hundred times over. However, it was a burden for PD Cho to just seat someone who had gone through a major incident and had become almost an entirely different person afterward.After a brief moment of contemplation, PD Cho decided to keep the possibility open while ensuring that it didn’t seem like a definite answer.“Of course, it would be great if Director Lee Suhan could join us, but we do have internal plans and procedural issues to address, so it might be better to discuss this in a separate meeting.”At that, the man who had originally asked the question raised his voice in impatience.“So can he come or not? Please be clear.”What do I do now?! PD Cho looked at Suhan’s expression again, and for some reason, Suhan was lightly smiling. He’s smiling? In this situation? Excuse me, isn’t this your problem, not mine? Just then, as PD Cho felt a surge of frustration, Suhan grabbed the microphone and drew everyone’s attention.“Um… Actually, it’s a personal matter, and I’ve been hesitant to mention it because things aren’t stable yet.”What is he going to say now? As all the management members of Seosang and the external guests turned their eyes to Suhan, he said something no one could have imagined.“Embarrassingly, my spouse and I are expecting our first child, so it seems I won’t be able to serve as a judge for the time being. If it’s alright for me to join briefly as a guest, I would be honored to be invited.”At that moment, the entire audience in the auditorium froze as if caught in an ice age. Even Yeonseo, the subject of the bombshell announcement. Meanwhile, Suhan, the one who had just made the shocking statement, calmly placed his hand on his lower abdomen and concluded the presentation.“Then I believe I’ve provided sufficient explanation for my leave of absence and work from home from the beginning of this year until next year. I will wrap up today’s presentation here. Thank you for gracing us with your presence today, and please return home safely and have a peaceful day.”As everyone murmured and began to exit the auditorium, Yeonseo rushed over to Suhan, his face pale, and whispered urgently.“Uh, why would you tell such a lie to cover this up…?!”Did he really just say there would be a ‘good thing’? Is this a good thing? Yeonseo asked in shock, and Suhan, showing off, lightly pressed his lips against Yeonseo’s cheek before pulling away and replied with a playful smile.“It’s not a lie.”After returning from the family gathering, Suhan visited the hospital again not long after. It seemed like a good idea to undergo a thorough check-up to ensure that there were no side effects from the medication he had been prescribed. After all, they’re both healthy adults, and it felt odd that there hadn’t been any news despite everything that had happened.When the test results came out, Suhan was somewhat prepared but still stunned by what he saw. Due to the physiological nature of male omegas, it’s difficult to pinpoint the exact timing, but the results indicated it had been just over a month. A month ago? Suhan tried to recall the timing in his head and then coughed awkwardly as embarrassment crept up on him.“Is there anything we need to be careful about?”“You’ll need to stop taking all the prescribed medications immediately. Some of them act as contraceptives, but I’m guessing you weren’t taking them?”Feeling a bit guilty, Suhan made up an excuse and quickly left the hospital. He had been slightly worried about how to deal with the upcoming presentation, just in case the company pressured him to return right away. It was almost amusing how perfectly timed this all was. Suhan chuckled to himself, realizing how absurd the situation was. He could tell Yeonseo today, but…“You’re not very good at lying, are you?”Of course, Suhan had a vague feeling that this only applied when Yeonseo was in front of him, but he decided it was best to keep the news a secret for now, just in case he needed to play it as a surprise card later. Besides, he kind of wanted to see Yeonseo’s shocked expression at the event. Even if it meant being accused of having a twisted sense of humor, Suhan thought it might be worth it.Finally, on the day of the event, Suhan almost felt like thanking Juno for his perfect timing. It would have been weird to randomly announce the pregnancy in front of so many people without any reason. Of course, revealing the real reason to the company would eventually leak through HR and make its way to outsiders, but it seemed better to let everyone know at once, in this public setting.Just like they had planned it, Suhan explained why he couldn’t return and why he had stayed out of sight for so long. Juno, visibly shocked, ignored the crowd’s attention and stormed out of the venue.“Well, let him leave….”His pale, ghost-like face, as if he had witnessed something that shouldn’t exist in this world, was quite the sight. Suhan was about to follow him out to see if Juno would make another slip-up when he spotted Yeonseo’s stunned expression right in front of him. He held back a laugh. I can’t laugh now. There are still people watching, and if I do, he’ll definitely sulk. Suhan knew how adorably petty Yeonseo could get when upset, and he wanted to avoid that.“How… how are you going to deal with that lie!?”Ah. Suhan could no longer hold back his laughter. So Yeonseo wasn’t shocked because of the pregnancy but because of the “big lie”? He was tempted to joke and say, “Well, how about we start trying from today?” but seeing the desperate look on Yeonseo’s face, Suhan couldn’t bring himself to make light of the situation. This wasn’t something to joke about. Smiling despite himself, Suhan responded.“It’s not a lie.”Yeonseo’s eyes widened even more. Meanwhile, PD Cho, who had been watching the two from the stage, quietly backed away, sensing he had intruded on something very personal.“Wow….”Yeonseo, despite his soft and innocent appearance, seemed to have forgotten everything and was just following Suhan’s lead. But as it turns out, he had done everything an alpha should. Feeling like he had accidentally meddled in someone else’s family affairs, PD Cho quickly left the auditorium. Now, only Suhan and Yeonseo remained in the large hall. At that moment, a call from Yeonseo’s mother appeared on Suhan’s phone, which had been set to silent mode. But Suhan didn’t even glance at it.“So… if it’s not a lie, then…?”The moment Suhan saw Yeonseo, who was so shocked that he couldn’t tell if this was reality or a dream, Suhan felt like he was going to laugh again.“No matter how I am, I wouldn’t joke about something like this. So, how do you feel, Dad-to-be?”At Suhan’s playful remark, Yeonseo’s eyes wavered. Suhan realized it wasn’t just because his body was trembling—by the time he noticed, Yeonseo had already wrapped his arms tightly around him.“I’m really… so, so happy! It’s hard to believe, like a dream….”Instead of adding more words, Suhan simply held Yeonseo tightly and patted his back. Just like he had told Yeonseo before, there was no way out now. There was no retreating into the past, so the only option left was to move forward. No one could guarantee what lay ahead, and the future was as uncertain as the shattered past. Since there was no way to know in hindsight whether any choice was the right one, the best option was to pursue what he wanted right now. At least, that way, he could be satisfied with himself.“I feel the same. I still can’t believe it… They said we can’t get an ultrasound yet. It’s too small, so we’ll need to wait a few more weeks before we can see it in a picture.”It made sense now why Suhan had been feeling so nauseous lately, especially with processed or takeout food. It was as if his body had been giving him obvious hints, only accepting home-cooked meals.“I’ll… I’ll do better. I’m just so grateful and… so happy….”Suhan kissed Yeonseo briefly on the cheek as he mumbled, almost as if he wasn’t fully aware of what he was saying. As Yeonseo felt the warmth of Suhan’s touch on his cheek, he was overcome with happiness, but at the same time, guilt and fear weighed heavily on his heart. Even though he had accepted Suhan’s temptation and knew there was no turning back, the moment he secretly wished that Suhan’s memories would never return made him hate himself. He couldn’t just ignore it and pretend nothing had happened.The happiness he now had seemed like a mirage, destined to shatter the moment the pre-amnesia Suhan returned. He suddenly felt like the unfortunate child from the old fairy tale he had read as a child.Like the child who saw happy visions each time he struck a match and ended up burning them all, unable to survive the cold night, Yeonseo wondered if he too was burning all his remaining hopes and possibilities for the future, just to live in the present. Was it okay to feel this happy, knowing it would break like the last flicker of the match? A surge of guilt momentarily took his breath away, but when Yeonseo’s eyes wavered again, Suhan firmly held both of his cheeks.“Everything’s going to be fine, so don’t worry.”Yeonseo wanted to believe those words more than anything. He could only hope Suhan was sincere and not just saying it to comfort him.“…Okay.”Yeonseo steadied his breath to stop his voice from trembling and hugged Suhan tightly, while Suhan held him close in return. He didn’t want to let go of this body, this face, or this kind voice. Suhan suddenly remembered a conversation they had a long time ago.“What happens if I get my memories back? I won’t lose the memories I’ve made during this time, right?”“It’s rare, but not impossible. The human brain doesn’t work like a computer with a 1:1 match for data storage. But as I mentioned before, it’s a defense mechanism to protect yourself, so it’s possible.”When the version of himself that everyone knew returned, would his current self disappear like a bubble? But even if that happened, the child would remain, proving that this version of him had existed. Suhan knew it wasn’t an entirely happy conclusion, but he didn’t care for now. He loved the alpha in his arms so much that he felt he could overcome anything.