Toxin

“I’ll do it. Hand it over.”

“Go inside. Your face is flushed red.”

“It’s fine. I’ll handle it.”

“Go inside.”

“I will….”

“Go inside.”

The Black Martial Emperor spoke firmly and then grabbed my arm, leading me toward the floor. It was then that he suddenly grabbed my chin roughly, lifting it up. For a moment, his gaze pierced through me, hotter than the sun. The sudden brightness made my eyes sting. As the Black Martial Emperor stared intently into my eyes, his eyelids trembled slightly. His tightly closed lips parted.

“Are you Raonhiljo?”

It seemed he had finally noticed the name etched into my eyes. It was only natural since this was the first time we had been this close. I lowered my gaze and brushed off his hand. His hand, which was as terrifying as if it would crush my chin, restrained me once again.

“I’m asking if it was Raonhiljo.”

I glared at him.

“What does it matter to Your Majesty whose name I have…? Ugh…!”

The Black Martial Emperor’s eyes were filled with uncontrollable madness. He grabbed the back of my head, bringing his hand to his waist. The swiftly drawn dagger hurtled toward my pupil at a terrifying speed. I did not close my eyes. The cold blade halted abruptly. His fiery gaze pressed down on me as if he had made a resolute decision. The rough movement left me gasping for breath. Cursing under his breath, he pulled my chin closer and covered my lips. As his hot tongue pierced sharply, my throat burned. He hurriedly pulled out my genitals and thrust his lower body against mine.

“Mmng…! Haa…!”

“Haah…”

As his erect member touched my center, his Adam’s apple vibrated violently. At the same time, he ravaged and sucked my nipples, stirring up the area below my heart. Shuddering, I used all my strength to push him away.

“Don’t touch me! Seeing your face drives me crazy! Please don’t appear before me!”

A sharp voice followed.

“Then why did you return here? Don’t tell me you didn’t know this was my territory.”

My nape grew hot in an instant, and the veins in my eyes bulged.

“Because my mother is here.”

I fixed my gaze on the killer’s eyes, imprinting each word.

“Because the traces of what you did to her… still remain in that room. Until those bloodstains disappear, I will never forgive you! So please, don’t appear before me! Don’t appear before me…!!”

In my near-hysterical struggle, the surroundings shattered and broke. I screamed as if spewing blood, pounding his shoulders, but I couldn’t leave a scratch on his iron-like muscles. The extreme stimulation made my vision spin.

“Lies!! It’s all lies…!! You just sweet-talked me to get my body…!! Eating, sleeping, and shitting, you discard those as instinct! That’s what you are by nature! So don’t lie…! Don’t lie…!!”

The venom I spewed out tore through my flesh like a saw blade, gnawing at my insides. I must have lost my mind for a moment. My senses were undoubtedly dulled. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be facing him now. My mother’s bloodstains are still in her room, and seeing the Black Martial Emperor drives me insane…

From behind him, my mother’s vengeful spirit glared at me fiercely. My mother, with all her limbs severed and blood dripping from her gouged-out eyes, appeared as she did on that dreadful day. She had been there all along… suddenly, an excruciating pain shot through the back of my head.

“Agh…!!”

The Black Martial Emperor’s expression turned cold as frost.

“Be still.”

“Let…! Don’t touch my body… Ugh…!!”

“Be still!”

The Black Martial Emperor wrapped his arms around my waist, gripping my wrist with one hand. He suppressed my erratic breathing, trying to calm me.

“Don’t act rashly.”

He gritted his teeth as he spoke.

“Don’t act rashly. If you get too excited, your brain will explode. It’s an aftereffect of severing the limb, so remember it well.”

Pant… Pant…! My limbs went limp, drained of all energy. His gaze, a mixture of rage and lust, tightened around my throat. My entire body trembled as it collapsed against his lower body.

“Don’t touch me… Don’t touch me… Please… Even the thought of it makes my skin crawl…”

Seeing him made me feel like I was going insane. But not seeing him was unbearable. So, I closed my eyes. Though the cruel sight receded, the overwhelming darkness brought even greater fear, chilling me to the bone. His uneven breathing licked at my ears. The hand coiled around my wrist tightened, then slipped away. My body floated in the air. His touch on my shoulders and legs made my skin crawl. My body, which had been hovering, was laid on the floor after a moment. The sound of his heavy garments brushing against each other disappeared, and only after a while did I finally open my eyes. When I opened them, I found myself lying in the room, and he was nowhere to be seen. I stared blankly at the empty doorway.

It was impossible. Absolutely impossible. I thought it was longing. I was possessed by a dream demon, wandering the streets at night, and finally made a choice that led me away from Raonhiljo. This thirst should have been quenched when I met him. But the gap between thought and reality was too vast.

“Ugh…”

Suddenly, a pain like a firebrand piercing my spine surged through me. I gritted my teeth and endured the relentless, excruciating pain. Curled up, I prayed for this time to pass quickly. My blood-stained mother still stood there.

Mother… Are you angry because I’m with him? I haven’t even begun to repay the deep-seated grudge, and you’re disappointed in me for wavering? They say that man has never felt emotions since birth. They say he can’t even feel anything towards his own flesh and blood.

But now he wants to teach me that…

As time passed, the pain subsided, and a sudden chill set in. I took shallow breaths and wrapped my arms around my shoulders. Seasons changed, and everything around me was moving forward, but my time alone was running backward.

***

The Black Martial Emperor did not come the next day, nor the day after that. Instead, Unsa kept coming in and out of the house, keeping an eye on me. Lying in bed, I finally got up. I hadn’t had a proper meal since coming here, so my head spun. The Black Martial Emperor had sent raw meat through Unsa, but I couldn’t swallow it. I didn’t want to smell blood in this house anymore. But I couldn’t just starve, so today I thought I’d go to the mountain and catch a snake or something.

Dragging my heavy legs, I left the room and saw Unsa eating soup with sweat beads hanging from the tip of his nose on the porch. Suddenly, my eyes caught a dirty mark under my feet. It was clearly a shoe print, about the size of two palms, with dirt on it. Again. This was the second day in a row something like this had appeared.

Yesterday, those two warriors in the kitchen made such disgusting noises that I couldn’t move from my room for hours… They really knew how to get on my nerves. It was already annoying enough that they camped out in someone else’s house, but I couldn’t tolerate the rudeness of dirtying it. I glared at the culprit who dirtied the porch.

“How many times do I have to tell you not to step on the porch with your shoes on? If you’re too lazy to take them off, clean up after yourself.”

“And how many times do I have to tell you that I don’t do such disrespectful things?”

“Then who else is here besides you, sir? And the shoe print on the porch looks just like yours.”

“That’s not my problem.”

Could it be Usa…? It was possible since he had been frequently visiting Unsa.

“It’s amazing that you sell food and get paid for it like this. Washing Usa’s unwashed hair for three days would be better than this.”

Unsa grumbled continuously but ate the soup with enthusiasm. Then he glanced at the bowl placed below.

“This is for you. His Majesty hunted and prepared it himself from early this morning.”

Next to Unsa was a bowl filled with neatly prepared meat.

“And His Majesty won’t be able to come today either. While you were hiding on the continent, His Majesty was running around himself, so his piled-up work is like a mountain.”

Unsa mumbled while chewing the soup.

“Don’t just stare at it, eat it. Surely you don’t need me to feed you, right?”

“Please tell him not to send these anymore. I don’t need them.”

“Are you asking him not to send raw meat, or are you saying you need His Majesty instead of this raw meat? Which one is it, specifically?”

My gaze sharpened instinctively. Unsa pulled his lips back and downed the last bit of food.

“And don’t come here either, sir. Right now, I’m so hungry that I can’t see anything, so I want to test whether the Imae Tribe eats human flesh or not.”

As I suppressed the rising anger and reached for a rag to wipe the footprints, a voice suddenly interrupted.

“Please, spare me! Where on earth am I…! I was wrong! Please, just spare me this once!”

“Come quietly!”

When I looked up, two Baedal Kingdom soldiers were entering the yard. But instead of asking about my friend, they suddenly asked me a question.

“Are you sure this is your friend?”

Their words didn’t register, and I couldn’t answer. It was because I couldn’t believe that the person they had brought was alive. If my eyes weren’t deceiving me, that was…

“Painter…”

It was definitely Naro. Naro blinked and shook off the soldier before rushing toward me.

“Friend…!!”

***

“Ha~! Don’t even ask! That day, I got word that my mother was sick, so I went down to my hometown for a bit. When I returned to Byeolwon, I heard all the painters there were  wiped out—how could I not faint from the shock?! Since then, I haven’t dared to go near Byeolwon and have been living in hiding. Isn’t Naragaon Fortress ridiculously large? I never thought it would come in handy at a time like this! Anyway, I was hiding like a mouse, but I was so bored that I decided to go to Master, and wouldn’t you know it, I ran into His Majesty, the Black Martial Emperor! I was so scared that I almost wet myself! At that moment, I couldn’t think of anything, so I just begged, saying I was your closest friend and to please spare me just once!”

Naro gulped down cold water, spraying a bit as he spoke.

“But then I realized! I told them I was a friend of a high treason traitor who tried to assassinate the emperor, so I must have lost my mind! Sure enough, His Majesty handed me over to the soldiers right away, and the sky turned yellow! I thought I was done for, but here I am, meeting you…!!”

Naro, his face red with excitement, recounted everything that had happened. I still couldn’t believe it. Naro was the only friend who had shared the hardships of the rough palace life with me. When the Black Martial Emperor ordered the massacre of the Painters, I thought Naro had died, but here he was, alive and well… Even seeing his face and hearing his voice, it felt like a dream. Suddenly, Naro grabbed my hand tightly.

“I’ve heard all about how you were a spy! And they say you even tried to poison His Majesty?! Other people curse and spit, saying you should be torn apart like a vicious monster, but I understand! You must have had your reasons, right? You wouldn’t have done something deserving of death unless you had a good reason!”

Where should I start explaining everything? If I told Naro what happened, he would probably faint.

“I’m sorry for not telling you earlier, despite how much you’ve always cared.”

“If you’d told me everything, you wouldn’t be much of a spy, now would you? I’m just glad you’re alive. I was sure you were dead. But you’ve gotten so thin since I last saw you! And what happened to one of your horns? They said it was good for you, but did it end up in someone’s stomach? Who’s the bastard who did this? Damn it. You were so cute when you had horns on both sides…”

Naro stared blankly at the stump where my white horn used to be.

“By the way! You wouldn’t believe how much people are whispering behind your back. There have been many attempts to poison His Majesty before, but they always got caught before succeeding and were quartered…! You must have a natural talent for this! Honestly, I’m a bit curious. Can you give me a hint about how you did it? Did you poison His Majesty’s food? Or did you put poison on his smoking pipe?”

It seemed Naro only knew that I had tried to assassinate the Black Martial Emperor, not the specific details. There was probably a strict order to keep it secret.

“I put poison in his food.”

“Wow~ Just as I thought!”

Naro let out a series of exclamations. Seeing that Naro was safe made me feel a bit relieved from the guilt that had been weighing on me. But at the same time, I felt heavy-hearted. The fact that the Black Martial Emperor remembered Naro and sent him here was suspicious. He’s someone whose intentions are hard to read with an ordinary mind. Could it be that he’s using Naro as a warning…? Although Naro escaped with his life this time, the palace is a place where you can never be sure what might happen next.

Naro seemed to have suffered a lot; his once plump cheeks were now sunken, and his skin looked rough. Seeing him like this reminded me of my mother when she was bedridden, and it pained me. I desperately didn’t want Naro to go through anything terrible. Lost in thought, something suddenly came to mind. I let it roll around in my mouth before looking at Naro.

“Painter, I’ve been given a name.”

“Roha! Roha! Wow~! A name that wishes for a child with purple eyes to be happy every day! That’s quite a statement! That man must have been quite the ladies’ man, right? Ro, Roha… It feels a bit awkward to call you that all of a sudden.”

“…”

“Wow… A name carved into your eyes! No matter how much I look at it, it’s amazing! But does it only appear in one eye?”

“No. Usually, it appears in both eyes, but I think it’s because I’m of mixed blood.”

“I see! But how did Raonhiljo My Lord end up naming you? That’s truly surprising! Isn’t it, Ro, Roha?”

Naro kept muttering my name as he scratched his head. I smiled silently. Apart from Raonhiljo, Naro was the first person to call me by my name. Hearing my name spoken by someone else felt different. Before long, we arrived at the edge of the forest, where a Baedal Kingdom soldier mounted on an

was waiting. Naro stopped and mumbled in a dark tone.

“By the way, Roha, are you going to stay here? Won’t you return to the palace?”

“…Yes.”

It was a place I never wanted to return to, but in the end, I couldn’t leave. Just like my mother…

“Well, I guess it would be strange for someone who tried to assassinate the emperor to walk freely in the palace.”

Naro kicked at the dirt, his voice melancholy.

“But I wish you’d come back. After the all the painters were wiped out, some new people came in recently, but none of them satisfy me. They’re all so arrogant because they’re from noble families, and I can’t stand any of them. I’ve looked everywhere, but there’s no one as good as you. I want to draw and study with you again. Those were the good times…”

“Are you going to stay in the palace, Painter? It’s a dangerous place where anything can happen at any time. Don’t you want to go back to your hometown?”

“Of course I do. I’d love to live peacefully, painting in my hometown. Every morning, when I wake up, I sigh, wondering how I’ll get through the day, whether I’ll even see the sunrise tomorrow. But when I think of my mother, who only has me to rely on, I find the strength to endure. You should have seen how happy my mother was when I was chosen as a royal Painter. She even threw a village feast despite our poor circumstances…”

Having something to protect must make a weak heart strong. Just as I endured the Imae Tribe’s persecution for the sake of my mother, if I were in Naro’s place, I would have made the same choice. As the Baedal Kingdom soldier urged him on, Naro took a heavy step forward. After walking a few steps, he turned back to look at me.

“Even though you came to the palace as a spy, our friendship wasn’t fake, was it? We’re still friends, right?”

His dark eyes were filled with anxiety as he cautiously asked. So despite the embarrassing question, I nodded and answered. Naro’s round eyes curved as he smiled brightly. My lips also curled up in response. Naro left with a promise to see me again and mounted the

.

When the soldier swung the whip, Eungryong soared into the sky. By the time Eungryong had shrunk to the size of a fingernail, I, too, turned to leave. My mind had been foggy, but after meeting Naro, I felt much lighter. Being with Naro was like splashing around in water on a summer day. Even though it was noisy and chaotic, the joy of splashing around washed away all the heavy worries weighing me down.

“Ah…”

I stopped in my tracks. Perhaps… I gazed blankly at the sky where Eungryong had disappeared and bit my lip. A thought crossed my mind that maybe the reason the Black Martial Emperor had sent Naro here wasn’t to threaten me.

***

When I returned after seeing Naro off, Unsa was lying lazily on the porch.

“When did you get a name? Earlier, the Painter was calling you Roha or something.”

“No wonder it felt unusually hostile…”

Unsa muttered. As I was about to enter the room, Unsa’s voice caught me.

“The one who killed your mother, do you think they’d be satisfied with just this kind of demonstration? If you’re going to strike, isn’t it better to knock them down all at once?”

“…”

“Then again, even if the Black Martial Emperor lost the entire Baedal Kingdom, he’d probably just build another one elsewhere. Even if he lost his entire family, he wouldn’t bat an eye. The poison from Imae doesn’t work anymore either. Isn’t there a good way? Preferably one that deals a strong blow all at once.”

Unsa gazed at me and hummed thoughtfully.

“Well, there is one fatal weakness he has now.”

Bang—!

I slammed the door, cutting off Unsa’s words. Slowly, I let go of the doorknob and sank down. The Black Martial Emperor hadn’t come by even once in two days. It was a time he could easily endure. Two days would become three, and three would turn into four. It was only two days, but already… A dull ache appeared and disappeared in my chest. Then, I heard Unsa’s voice from beyond the door.

“By the way, your name is terrible. Sounds like something a gigolo would’ve given you.”

***

I hadn’t painted in a long time, but my head throbbed. I bit the blanket, trying to stifle a groan. I had pushed Raonhiljo away, but it wasn’t as if I intended to develop a specific relationship with the Black Martial Emperor. I just thought that being beside Raonhiljo while under the Black Martial Emperor’s control would be like betraying him. Out of habit, I fiddled with my left eyelid. Raonhiljo had sent me off, hoping I’d be happy, but here I was again. I wondered, does Raonhiljo share this feeling with me now? I was happy when I received a name from him; it was a miracle that turned the curse embedded in me into a blessing. But how does he feel? Is he regretting it…?

Resting my head against the blank paper screen, I closed my eyes. But the headache hardly subsided.

***

I must have dozed off for a moment. When I came to, the room was cloaked in darkness, and outside, the sound of pouring rain echoed. Groping in the dim light, I remembered that I had hung the paper screen outside earlier. I hurried to open the door. At that moment, I saw a silhouette leaning against the doorway, and my heart nearly stopped. For a second, I thought Unsa hadn’t left yet. As I tried to calm myself, the first thing I noticed was the strong smell of tobacco. Slowly, under the dim moonlight, the outline of the figure became clear, and I froze again. I thought a ghost had come to haunt me—a vile and malicious spirit that always stole my nights…

The Black Martial Emperor, a pipe dangling from his lips, was staring at me. The rain-soaked fabric clung to his steel-like muscles. Water dripped from his hair, tracing the contours of his porcelain-like skin. How long had he been standing there…? Suddenly, the strong scent of alcohol mixed with the tobacco reached me. His muddied shoes also came into view. Could it be that the footprints earlier weren’t from the guards…?

Slowly, he raised his hand and brushed my lips. His touch was so cautious and gentle that it felt like I was facing someone else entirely. The thick tobacco smoke wrapped around us like mist, and his rain-drenched voice whispered into my ears.

“Now… I can finally breathe…”

In the rain-soaked world, only his eyes held a fierce thirst. The emptiness in them was as dark as a soul.

“All day, I was buried in work, went hunting, and even then, there was still time, so I drank. But even after all that, time dragged on.”

His cold fingers traced the curve of my lips slowly.

“What should I do while I wait for you to forgive me?”