Upside Down – Alternate Destiny

[Thursday, May 9th]

I never thought too much about how nice it is to be able to wake up in your bed until this moment. I wasn’t even sure that was going to happen with the way the doctors were hemming and hawing. Yet, thanks to Dad, here I am, waking up in my bed, with my sister sprawled half on top of me. And, of course, she’s using my somewhat larger boob as a pillow, yet again. At least it’s not painful, so that’s a huge plus.

Yesterday, Mom was somehow able to find a tape measure at the hospital and took some rough measurements, so she could go get me something that would somewhat fit and I could leave the hospital. However, I would have happily marched out of there without a bra or panties in only a hospital gown if it meant I didn’t have to stay there any longer.

Unfortunately, my changes also mean I have to go get measured properly again. Mom promised we would go to a small lingerie shop and women’s clothing store close to here. Woohoo! No huge crowds! She said we could get a couple of outfits and bra and panty sets, and then order the rest of what I need online. It was nice to find out the silk nightgowns she got me before were big enough that they still fit, but all the other things she bought either have to be passed on to Chinatsu, returned, or donated.

“Hey, sleepyhead. Get up, we have things we have to do today,” I say while gently shaking her.

“I don’t wanna. I want to sleep some more.”

“Seriously, get up. I need to go to the bathroom.”

“No, I’m comfortable and just want to sleep some more.”

Wow, talk about being lazy… Okay, one more try, then I’ll just leave her here to sleep. “Are you going to make me go shopping with Mom alone, especially after what happened last time?”

She sighs dramatically, cracks opens her eyes, and peers at me. “That’s not fair. You know I wouldn’t make you go alone.”

It’s off-topic, but who cares? “Oh? I suppose you acting like I’m some sort of living body pillow is perfectly acceptable, huh?”

She smirks and replies, “What can I say? Your boobs make great pillows, plus you smell good.”

I roll my eyes and firmly state, “Haaa~ You are so spoiled.”

“I’m your sister, you are supposed to spoil me,” she says, resulting in both of us giggling like idiots. I’ve always loved her quirky sense of humor.

I stand up and stretch as I say, “Okay. Come on, get a move on before Mom comes up and scolds us.”

“Hey, aren’t you forgetting something important?”

Her question catches me off guard. “Eh? What’s that?”

“My morning hug, of course.”

I shake my head and grin. “Wow, girl. You really are spoiled, aren’t you?”

She shrugs and grins sunnily in reply.

Honestly, I couldn’t care less if she wanted a hug since she’s my favorite person, so she can have all of them she wants. I open my arms, and she stands up, wraps herself around me while burying her face against my neck, and I hold her tightly. I inhale her warm, musky scent as I hold her. Have I mentioned that I love the way she smells? Yeah, I do, if that isn’t clear already.

A minute later, I give her a peck on the cheek and let go as I murmur, “We need to get a move on.”

Twenty-five minutes later, we’re washed, primped, and dressed for the day and walk into the dining room.

“Good morning, Mom,” Chinatsu and I say together.

“Good morning, girls. Go ahead and sit down, breakfast will be ready shortly.”

I’m digressing a little here, but Mom isn’t all Japanese; her mother is American and her father is Japanese, which is where both Mom and Chinatsu got their blue eyes. That’s the reason why her cooking is a bit out of the ordinary for most Japanese. Like today, we’re having fried eggs, ham steak, toast, and salad. Not that it isn’t delicious, just like everything she makes is.

That said, when we got home from the hospital yesterday, I helped her make dinner. I can cook, but nowhere near her level, so when she offered to teach me, I happily accepted. I hope to someday be as good at cooking as she is.

After we eat and clean up the dirty dishes, we put on our shoes, or ankle boots in my case. Mom got them for me so that I would start getting used to wearing heels, not that the heels are all that high on these, just five centimeters. Regardless, it’s still a little difficult, but one side benefit is that I take smaller steps when I’m wearing them, so that could be why Mom is making me wear them as well. It’s still odd to feel my hips sway as I walk.

Mom doesn’t seem to be wasting any time trying to get me used to being a girl. I know I decided to face it and work hard on becoming a proper girl, and I am working hard at learning, but a little slower would be better, in my opinion. For example: my pronoun usage, which is rather hard to correct without conscious effort when you spent 13 years referring to yourself as a male. Not to mention, Chinatsu and Mom have been working with me on walking, sitting, and standing as a girl. In and of itself, it’s not all that hard, but try it yourself, and you’ll find out that it’s far too easy to fall back into old habits.

Yesterday, Mom suggested we go to the lingerie shop after I was released. I was aghast at the idea, but Dad flat-out said no, which I was extremely grateful for. I needed new underwear, but being in the hospital again was draining for me, so all I wanted to do was go home.

Which brings us to today’s excursion. I would prefer to walk because it’s such a beautiful day, and the shop isn’t all that far from the house, but that would be far too much to expect me to be able to do right now. Therefore, we’ll be taking Mom’s car to the area of the two stores we’ll be going to.

As we head out the door, Chinatsu takes my hand, and we walk out to Mom’s car. Once we get into the back seat, we buckle ourselves in. Then Mom gets in, and we drive for all of 10 minutes to the little lingerie shop Mom told me about. She told me last night that it’s named after the owner, “Kotori’s Closet.” Cute, huh? That’s what Mom and Chinatsu said, at least. Mom said that she and Kotori have been friends since high school, and she frequently shops there because of that.

Oh, did I mention that last night, Chinatsu gave me an hour-long exposé about why girls should care about having cute lingerie? Yep, I kid you not, a full hour. My eyes glazed over a few minutes into it. Maybe someday, in some undefined future, I might care about having cute lingerie, but for now, simply having some that are comfortable and fit me properly will be more than enough.

Anyway, after Mom parks the car, she looks at us in the rearview mirror.

“Let’s go, girls.”

We get out and walk a short distance to the shop. When Mom enters the shop, she calls out to the owner. “Hi, Kotori. We’re here.”

“Haruka! Haven’t seen you for a while,” she says as she walks toward us from the back of the store. “How have you and China… Who’s the cutie?” she asks while looking at me curiously.

“Ah, yes, that’s right, you don’t know, do you? This is our daughter, Sora. We adopted her after her Mom passed away in an accident. Sora, this is my friend, Kotori Fujisaka.”

“I.. uhh…I’m pleased to meet you, Ms. Fujisaka. I-I’m Sora It.. uhh, I mean, Sora Kobayashi.” I greet her while nervously stammering a little. I even managed to remember to use ‘atashi.’ I’m so proud of myself, even Mom and Chinatsu have big grins aimed in my direction.

“Eh? Nonono. Don’t call me that, you’ll make me feel old. Kotori is fine, okay?”

I look at Mom when Kotori says that, and she nods in agreement. Well, whatever. I suppose I don’t mind if they don’t.

“I’m guessing this isn’t simply about you coming to visit me, so what brings the three of you to my little shop?”

“Well, I wanted to visit with you, and we need to get Sora some new lingerie, so I thought, why not kill two birds with one stone?”

“Sure. Not a problem. I’m always happy to see you, but honestly, I’m surprised you didn’t go to the mall to buy it. They have a much larger selection after all.”

“They do, but this little one is kind of skittish around large crowds,” Mom tells her while placing her hand on my shoulder, which makes me blush slightly. I hate being the center of attention.

“Alrighty, then. Come on, let’s go get you measured.”

I knew it was going to happen, but here we are again. Shame jumps to the forefront, and I turn beet red. Chinatsu, as always, comes to my rescue. She lightly squeezes my hand, as if saying, ‘It’s okay, I’m here with you.’

“If you don’t mind, I’ll be going with her, Kotori. She’s really shy around people she doesn’t know, and she might need my help since she just recently got out of the hospital.”

She smiles as she says, “It’s nice to see you two are close.” Then she gestures for us to follow. After we enter the fitting room, I let out a heavy sigh, psych myself up, and remove my blouse, camisole, and skirt.

“Wow. It’s been a while since I’ve seen someone your age built this well. You must be popular with the boys,” she says, winking at me. Blushing even harder, I shake my head.

She laughs lightly and takes my measurements. Her eyes open a little wider, and she tells me incredulously, “Wow, your bust is 76, waist is 56, hips are 84, and you’re a full B cup. Darn girl, you’re almost as big as I am. Alrighty, go ahead and get dressed again.”

I knew my boobs were bigger, but my hips as well? Five centimeters for my boobs and six centimeters for my hips. What the hell nanites?! Enough already, especially when you made me hurt so badly while you made those changes! Even though it’s embarrassing as hell being seen while being measured again, there’s also the cost. Chinatsu told me that Mom spent over ¥56,000 at the lingerie shop at the mall. I was simply flabbergasted to find out how much girls’ lingerie costs.

I get dressed as all of this runs through my mind. Returning to Mom, Kotori tells her my measurements, which makes Mom widen her eyes slightly. Why she’s acting so surprised, I have no idea since she got a rough idea of how much I changed when she took a quick measurement of me at the hospital.

“Do you still prefer silk and satin lingerie, Haruka?” Kotori asks Mom.

“Of course, they’re more comfortable against your skin than the other fabrics,” she replies to Kotori and then turns to me. “You know your measurements, so why don’t you take Chinatsu and have her help you pick out a few sets? I’m going to catch up with Kotori while you girls get what you need.”

I look at Chinatsu, who nods at me. “Okay, Mom. We’ll be back in a little bit,” I tell her, and we venture off to discover my new lingerie.

After we find what we need, I go back into the fitting room, and change into one of the strapless bras we picked out for me. Then we make our way over to where Mom and Kotori are talking, and Chinatsu sets the seven sets we picked out beside the register. She made me choose them. She nixed many of my original choices until I finally got the idea of what she thought I should be picking out. Plus, she explained, ‘You’ll have to be able to do this on your own at some point.’

While we were shopping, I was astounded at the prices. When we were at Sakura Lingerie, I never got out of my head enough to notice how much lingerie costs. So, I was totally clueless as to how expensive silk and satin are, but Chinatsu said Mom would have a fit if we tried to choose anything else. Mom believes that silk and satin are a lot more comfortable to wear for long periods. I mean, I agree, silk is wonderful, I love the way it smoothly glides across my skin. My camisole and panties are silk, so I have to say, I love the way they feel against me. Even if there are awkward times when silk slides across my nipples. But, that is an entirely different matter.

Kotori moves to the register and rings up the sets, and when she tells Mom the total, I’m aghast at the cost, but Mom doesn’t even bat an eye. Even Chinatsu doesn’t seem surprised, but to me, it’s a huge sum of money, ¥31,536.

After Mom takes out her credit card and pays for them, Kotori bags everything up.

“Sora, it was nice to meet you. I hope you’ll come back and visit again.”

“Uh, it was nice meeting you as well, Kotori. I’m sure I will at some point. Thank you for your help,” I reply. Although, as things stand right now, unless it’s with Mom or Chinatsu, I won’t be coming back here. It’s not that I don’t think she’s nice or anything, it’s that I still find places like this embarrassing.

“Kotori, I’ll see you next time. Though I’ll try to not make it take as long this time. Take care, alright?”

“You take care as well, Haruka. It was nice seeing you again. Bye, girls,” she says and waves to us. Chinatsu and I smile and wave back.

“Alright girls, on to the next stop,” Mom states, then stops to turn and look at me. She bends down to look me in the eyes and quietly asks, “How are you feeling? You aren’t too tired, are you?”

“No, I’m fine. I promise I’ll tell you if I’m getting tired.”

Mom nods as she straightens up and leads the way out of the store as we follow along behind her hand-in-hand. I tried to take the bag from Kotori, but as you can guess, that wasn’t allowed. Chinatsu is being over-protective. Yeah, I’m still weak and tire easily, but I could carry a couple of small bags.

Since it’s only a short distance to the store Mom had chosen to shop at for my outfits, we stuff the bags in the trunk and walk while enjoying the pleasant weather. However, I don’t enjoy all of the men/boys who stare at us as we walk. Some of their expressions as they do make my skin crawl. It also makes me wonder how women deal with this.

Chinatsu, psychic as always when it comes to what I’m thinking or feeling, holds my hand a little tighter to reassure me and tells me, “Just ignore them.” Thankfully, we soon reach the store and go inside, where we’re greeted by a clerk. Heading to the teen section, Mom immediately starts delving through the racks of skirts and dresses.

“Umm, Mom, can we get me some jeans instead? I’m not too sure about wearing skirts or dresses.”

She pauses and turns her head to look at me. “Sweetie, wearing a skirt or a dress is natural for girls. You might feel odd, but soon, you’ll be used to it. Besides, have you ever seen Chinatsu or me wear jeans or slacks?”

I think about what she asked. I can’t recall ever seeing either of them in anything but skirts or dresses, other than gym for Chinatsu. She bought a dress for me to leave the hospital the first time, and this skirt and blouse the second time.

Sighing quietly and shaking my head, I realize, ‘There’s no point in arguing about this. I’d lose anyway.’ So, it looks like this is what I’ll be wearing from now on. While I’ve spent my time pondering all of this, Mom has gone back to looking and has already made several selections, which she hands to me to go try on. I’m alarmed when I see the one on top is a mini-skirt. The one I’m wearing is knee-length, and it exposes more of me than I’m comfortable with. “Mom, I can’t wear something like this.”

“Of course, you can. I’m sure it will look very cute on you.”

“That isn’t why I said I can’t wear it.”

She tilts her head to the side and quirks an eyebrow as she asks, “Do I need to reiterate what I said a few minutes ago?”

“No Mom, but…”

“No buts, Sora. If it fits and looks as good as I think it will, we’ll be buying it, and you’ll be wearing it. Is that clear?” She looks at me for a few moments and then sighs. “Sweetie, listen to me. I’m not trying to make an already difficult situation even more stressful for you. I’m not sure if I can explain it as well as your father could, but we need you to be seen as a normal, teenage girl that you could see anywhere. If certain people found out about you, they wouldn’t hesitate to hurt or even kill you if they believe you’re the key to solving the population problem. Your father and I will do anything to protect you. If making you a little uncomfortable helps keep you safe, we’ll do that.”

After she finishes, all of the things I’ve been thinking about come to mind. My heart aches because I feel like I’m nothing but a selfish little ingrate. This is to protect me? True, no one ever explained it to me, but I should’ve realized it on my own, and it’s not as if they’ve had much of a chance. I was awake for all of four hours the day I got out of the hospital. The next morning, I was right back there. They’ve had their hands full dealing with me the last few days, and who knows how stressful this has been for them.

My head and shoulders droop as hot tears begin falling. Mom steps over and pulls me to her. “I’m sorry. I’m worried, and I never stop to consider how hard this has to be for you. I don’t want to see you hurting. All I want is for you to be safe and have a normal life if you can.”

I sniff and brush away my tears as I look up at her, then shake my head slightly as I say, “That isn’t why I’m upset. I’m sorry… I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting. I never even thought about what I’ve put you through, or how hard this has been for you. I get it now, you’re doing all of this to protect me. I promise to do whatever you want without complaint.”

Chinatsu steps up behind me, slipping her arms around my waist, and rests her chin on my shoulder. “You know, for a literal genius, you can be astonishingly stupid at times. We’re doing this because we love you. I’d take on the whole world for your sake. You ought to know that by now. Mom and Dad would, too.”

Mom gently brushes away my tears and combs my bangs out of my face with her fingers. “She’s right. You don’t think we adopted you out of pity, do you? We love you, and you’ve always been part of the family. The only difference now is that we have a piece of paper that states it.”

I nod, take several deep breaths, and slowly let them out to settle myself. I’ve been on one heck of an emotional rollercoaster lately. What’s with me? I’m not like this. This is more than a little unsettling.

It takes a couple of minutes, but I finally get myself back under control. Then Mom asks, “Are you ready to finish shopping so that we can go eat lunch?” I nod. “Good. Chinatsu, why don’t you go with her while she tries these on?”

In the fitting room, I undress, and Chinatsu helps me into the first outfit, which is nothing less than the light green mini-skirt and a bright yellow, silk, sleeveless, V-neck blouse. Thankfully, I’m wearing a strapless bra, or it would show with the way the blouse is designed.

Turning, I look at myself in the full-length mirror and catch my breath, completely captivated by the beautiful girl reflected there. I think, ‘Wow. Mom was right, it does look great.’ That’s not to say that I still don’t feel awkward in this, but I have to admit it’s extremely cute, and I’m rockin’ the look, as Chinasu said. I step away from the mirror to go find Mom so that I can show her.

As I’m making my way through the store, it occurs to me, form follows function. Therefore, if I dress like a girl and act like the girl I am now, I’ll eventually begin to feel like I truly am one.