Waifu Catalog: Warcraft Beta Tester

4/27 noon

I borrowed Drusilla’s necklace in a back alley and created an impromptu skinny farmer disguise. If anyone asked, I’d be a refugee from Westfall, new to town and quick to leave. Forgettable.

I spoke to a guard, trying to look annoyed but not frantic. “Excuse me sir? I’m afraid my son has run off with a group of other children while I was picking up supplies. Do you happen to know where they might have run off to? I heard one of them using the name Aaron, if that helps.”

To my surprise, the guard seemed wary of that. I tensed, wondering if I had said something wrong; god I hope he didn’t assume I was a child predator. “You should keep a closer watch on your children, sir. Those kids are a pack of thieves. When you talk to them, make sure they don’t nick anything off you. This time of day I think they’ll be down by the fishing pool. Go get your kid, and make sure they aren’t doing anything. I’d go with you, but I can’t leave my post unless there’s signs of danger.”

“Oh no, they might be a bit misguided but they didn’t seem malicious.” I had no interest in creating a scene. If these children wouldn’t be considered credible, all the more reason to make sure they were the only witnesses. I got directions to the fishing pool and moved right along.

As promised, a small group of youths, aged ten to fourteen, were gathered around a firepit. I’d been expecting younger when he’d been referred to as a child, but this was probably for the best. They seemed to be talking and laughing with one another, like friends normally do. They each had bags, filled with what had to be their ill gotten gains, assuming the guard was right about their thievery. Strange treasures, though. Corn, handfuls of nuts, a few pumpkins, carved sticks, a broom, some mint leaves? Whatever; it wasn’t important.

“Aaron!” All the children looked up, but they mostly looked at one of the older boys. Must be Aaron then. “Tell me what you are doing here.” He seemed nonplussed.

“Who are you?”

“I’m the one who is here to find out what you’re stealing for.” They looked guilty, but not ashamed. Cocky, actually.

“Oh, who says we’re stealing anything? This is just our stuff.”

“Like I’d believe a bunch of do-nothings like you would have half that much on you.” Hmm. He didn’t seem offended at all by that. Dammit, I might have gone too old with this.

“We do plenty.” Smug. Hmm. He was proud of that was he? I looked over their loot and put on a dismissive look. Me acting like I gave a shit seemed to be feeding his ego.

“Look kid, you’re not even a particularly successful thief. I don’t know what you’re trying to do with all this random shit, but you’re not accomplishing anything. At this rate you’re gonna die someday, camped out next to this pool, and no one is gonna care. You’re not impressing anyone with your rebellion, you’re not collecting enough of anything for it to matter, and I doubt anyone outside of Goldshire will ever even notice you exist.” I felt a brush against my leg, inside my pocket, and glanced down to make sure that my belt pouch wasn’t being stolen. I checked inside and found what felt like a small glass ball. Jackpot.

“Anyway. That’s just my opinion. You kids have fun now.” I turned on my heel, pointedly ignoring the angry shouts of a group of kids who would probably brush it off and forget about me within a week. I had what I’d come for; no need to draw it out.
I checked the app to see if the replacement minor quest was something I could do quickly before the end of the day.

Public Nuisance 
Publicly shame Erma, the Goldshire stable master
Reward: a riding horse

That one is probably not worth the trouble. Horses are nice, but I didn’t know anything about Erma so I’d probably need to research her to do anything effective. I swiped it away and found the next one even less promising.

Induce Nightmares
The Gnoll Fedfennel has a magical Sword. Get it from him by whatever means necessary and then put it in the bedroom of physician Michelle Belle.
Reward: 2 credits

The reward was nice, but I’m not staying in Goldshire long. Certainly not long enough for rare gnoll hunting. I had a schedule to keep now. Time to go back to the inn and wait for the ladies.

••••••••••

Lividia was fishing. Well, technically murlocking, but the difference was probably academic. Sure, murlocs were almost as big as her, but how was she supposed to grow into a powerful dragon without eating as much as she wanted whenever she wanted? The old whispers from the earth were fading and the new ones were even smarter. They agreed with her more often, for one.

This morning the whispers had pointed out that she needed to see the world and follow her passions in order to properly grow. Plus, mother would be able to find her if she didn’t leave her post. So she flew away from the road and started hunting big tasty fish in the lake near the human den. It was liberating to fly free, with no real objective. Mother had always controlled her life, but now Lividia was a free agent and the world would quake in fear. Starting with these murlocs.

••••••••••

Sir Thomas Thompson, sometimes known as the Headless Horseman, was displeased with his current condition. He almost always was, being trapped in the form of a magical pumpkin, but in particular today he was quite put out.
These children, Aaron, Cameron, Dana, John, Jose, and Lisa, had found his wandering spirit, and accepted his offer of aid and protection. He could only do simple tricks for them, turning sticks into simple wands to cast illusions, corn into sweet candy, and with great effort pumpkins into simple guardians. In return, however, these children would carry him to places of importance to do rituals in his name and usher in his resurrection.

That strange man had undermined Aaron’s confidence. That simply would not do. Aaron would someday be a worthy squire, if properly instructed. He would help form a foundation for Thompson’s new, even purer crusader; far better than the Scarlet Crusade, corrupted by darkness. That evening, when they placed him in their hearth to speak with him as they did every night, he would have much damage to undo. All in rhyming couplets, of course. One must never compromise one’s aesthetic.

That man, on the other hand, would need to be punished. Luckily he reeked of strange, likely demonic magic. It would make hunting him easy when Thomas was able to call forth his body from his grave in the Scarlet Monastery. Hallow’s End couldn’t come soon enough, and with it a fiery reckoning.