Why are you special?

Night falls before I reach town, but that’s no big deal - undead traits from Monsterkin Freelancer give me Darkvision, as does my Eidolon power suit. I can see sixty feet quite clearly, which is enough. I finally encounter the road again… and the town gate. Right at the same time, even. Would have been nice to find the road sooner.

Still…civilization! … ish.

This place is much bigger, and also has a wooden palisade around it, made from twelve foot tall logs, pointed at the top. I don’t have a schedule to keep, so I take my time and walk all around the town invisibly. There’s four big holes in the wall: One where the river goes in, one where the river goes out, one for the road I found, and the other for a very similar road on pretty much the opposite side. There’s not a single house outside the wall. And the wall is manned. There’s two guards at the top of each gate, one each at the river entrance and exit. In addition to the seemingly-permanent stations, there’s also a patrol that walks the wall. They all wear steel plate armor on their chests, with helmets. They have pikes, bows, and arrows. Each also has an obvious horn at their side. Feels like a war footing to me. That’s likely to make entry at the gate interesting.

I’m not seeing any pointy ears on the guards on the wall, and they look human as far as I can tell. So probably a mostly human settlement? That or a human ruling class… hard to say, really. Not without more information. Which I can get… Riversight is Druid-2, so it’s in my range. I simply go down to the river, touch the water, and concentrate…

OK, scrying is weird. I suddenly have an extra eye. It’s stuck in the water, but that’s what it is… and I can move it, at least along this river. I walk it up through the town, getting a fish’s eye view of the place. Oh, hey: He’s got pointy ears! My first elf. Although… after literally looking Death in his eye sockets, that’s positively tame, isn’t it? Still. An Elf! It feels like a real fantasy world now. Most seem human, though.

I can’t see too terribly much from the river, but I can see enough to get a rough idea of things. Everyone is carrying at least one each of a ranged and melee weapon. Including the few children I see. Poor folk seem to carry slings and clubs, people who are better off have crossbows, shortbows, longbows, daggers, shortswords, longswords, maces, morningstars, greatswords, handaxes, greataxes… quite a variety of weapons, really. And that’s just what I can see from the water. I can also see a few signs… there’s bars and shops and things. Lots of folks fishing… and still carrying weapons. There’s also a few people with spell component pouches or various holy symbols displayed… Knowledge(Religion) identifies three different deities based on those. Not that the names mean anything to me, but it’s nice to have them. And yes, one of them is one of Life’s AKA’s. The folks wearing those tend to keep themselves very shaded… ah, right. They WANT to be pale.

The sun rises while I investigate. Well… it’s a town. Not that big, but very packed anyway. Nothing for it… I head back to the road, follow it out of sight of the town gate. I want to seem like a mostly normal traveler. Towards that end, I look at myself… OK, so I’m a walking wet dream. Hmm… ugh. Hormones. But I’m wearing a too-big shirt as something of a dress, shoes stuffed with rags, a backpack, a couple of weapons, and that’s it. Yeah, I should look a bit more normal… I think back to what I saw via Riversight, and - interested to test the limits of the Divine Curse - use Disguise Self to shuffle my appearance a bit. Turning into a black man? My skin tone changes, but I’m still a well-endowed woman. I can’t seem to make my chest any smaller (bigger works), my waist any wider (smaller works), or my hips any smaller (bigger works, though). My lips also remain plump, no matter what I do. I can change my appearance into an elf, an orc, or even a dwarf… but always female, always adhering to a fairly specific standard of beauty. Pointy ears, fur, clothing, coloration, even a tail all seem to be fair game. Hair stays long, but I can style it however I like. That’s interesting… experimentally, I use one of the rapiers to cut my hair… and sure enough, when I let it drop, it’s the same length it was before I cut it. Funny how that’s part of the package.  I wonder if there's a market for limitless raven hair?

Well… I use the Instant Disguise spell (together with Divine Insight and Divine Providence) to get a completely mundane disguise that’s quite good. I don’t care who I look like, I just don’t want to look like myself for now. Over that, I use Disguise Self, but JUST altering my clothing to match what I saw women wearing near the river. I pick a blue shade that doesn’t quite match anyone I saw, and mix and match a little so it’s just my style, not anyone else’s. Blue cloth, gold trim, pauldrons… I don’t want to seem poor when I’m selling bolts of fine cloth, jewelry, and other more fungible items. Well… mostly I picked up trade goods, honestly… so I’ll just be buying things with them. A quick Misdirection spell to make me look like a rock to divinations and… I’m about as ready as I will be. Everyone’s armed, so my carrying two swords and bows won’t stand out much.

So I walk up to the gate. It’s made of wood, bound in iron… would be easier to get through the wall than this thing if it’s barred, honestly… which might be the point. It’s currently standing open, so I just walk through, seeing if anyone stops me….

“Hold on… I don’t know you. Declare yourself.”

I look at the guard… he’s wearing the same standard-issue breastplate, but instead of a pike, has a longsword and a heavy steel shield. There’s a bow stowed on his back as well. He’s got quite the scar on his face that looks like it went through his eye, but his eye is fine. I wonder how that worked? He’s definitely got some muscle. And… I forgot a name. So I use the first thing that pops into my head.

“I’m Dolly Parton, here to purchase some supplies and possibly find employment.” Other than the name, all true. But I really don’t look like a Jimmy right now, do I?

“And where are you from, Dolly?”

Ah, the joys of Divine Providence, time to Bluff, “A little village by the sea, burned down in a raid long ago. I scarcely remember it. I mostly travel, now.”

“Well, as I thought, you’re not from here… gate tax is two coppers.”
“I don’t have any coins, hold a bit…” I dig through the backpack, making sure to give him a generous view of cleavage. What? I have the body, I might as well make use of it. Taking my time and trying to get him on my side. After a bit, I pull up a small piece of silver jewelry, “Got change?”

The man considers for a moment, “No… eh. Just make sure to get some change when you’re shopping and pay on the way out, all right? You don’t seem like you’re a troublemaker.”

Diplomacy rocks, especially when you can always roll a ‘natural’ twenty with Divine Providence, “Thank you.”

I move past him… and oh, the city stinks. The roads have ditches on either side, and it looks like that’s how they empty their bowels. As I walk, I actually see how it’s done… someone dumps a bronze pot full of human waste into the ditch. I guess they’re waiting for the rain to clear it out? Ugh. Glad I haven’t felt the need to go since I got here. Not needing to eat has a benefit beyond just not needing to pay for rations.

The view from the street matches the view from the river - everyone’s armed everywhere they go: Even kids as young as maybe eight. I spend a few hours just wandering the city - I want a feel for the place more than anything else. Nobody seems particularly worried. This is normal for them? I can’t imagine. Still… a fantasy world is a dangerous place. Orcs, Goblins, Kobolds, other nations, dragons… there is no shortage of monsters of various kinds. And I suppose massed fire does nasty things to anything without damage reduction, even if they only hit on a natural twenty. So I suppose it makes sense… guards on the walls sound an alarm when anything dangerous shows up, everyone comes running and shoots it to death. Anything can come at any time, so they stay armed constantly. At least, that’s my first guess as to the what and why. But I can’t exactly ask without revealing that I don’t know why they’re doing things, can I? Well… observation. And in the meantime, exploration.

On my wanderings, I spy a clock shop, what looks to maybe be a city hall, three bars, two inns, and of course a market square. They’re mostly selling fruit and veggies… I’m sure there’s a tailor somewhere, but I’m not finding them. Ah well, I guess pants will have to wait. I sell one each of the rapiers and bows - they fetch a good price, thanks to the ‘fine craftsmanship’ that I added with magic… but it’s an Instant spell, I’m not cheating them at all doing that. I could sell all of the weapons, but then I’d stand out like a sore thumb.

Weighing my options… well, there’s a reason that most campaigns start at a tavern; a ‘public house’ - or pub - makes a common gathering place, and a great place for posting notices, like help wanted ads. Until I can level up, I’ll need someone who can navigate for me… which means adventurers. And I’ve got a lot to offer, I’m an inexhaustible switch hitter at this point… the problem is sussing out what people need so I can say I’m that without actually saying I’m something else first. Well, I suppose I could suss out the info, change disguises, and try again… hmm.

Well, let’s try one… I walk into the ‘Wayward Wench’ to see what I can find….