Why are you special?

I’m in Death’s office again.  Ah, right.  That Guildmaster had a BAB of 11.  Which means he’s at least 11th, which means a lot of XP. Probably pushed me over.

Death is sitting at his desk reading, and looks up when I arrive, “Back already?”  He looks at me with those eyes of pure void and considers, “Nobody came my way by your hand.  What happened?”

“I took a guild test, and the guildmaster surrendered when he figured out he was outclassed.”

Death considers, “Ah, yes, and the guildmasters are semi-retired adventurers themselves… so despite being a nonlethal competition, in beating him you would have gotten a very large amount of experience, enough to level up twice with how low you currently are.  Well, were.”

“Yeah, but my DM enforces that pesky rule about not leveling twice in one go.  So even if I got enough experience from him to do so, I’m stuck one XP short of leveling twice.”

Death chuckles, “So your boon has a minor downside.  All right.  Well, you know where the books are….”

Going over my options, I eventually settle on nabbing Nature's Whispers from the Nature oracle so I can get my Charisma to my armor class again, and also to my Combat Modifier Defense in case anyone tries to grapple me or something.  I also grab Primordial Lore (it’s from an obscure 3rd party template, the Dark Walker) to let me get past immunities… and to also let me cast Mythic spells.  The downside of that is that I have to actually know the spell to get the Mythic version - Wild Arcana doesn’t give that to me.  I also grab Dual Actions from a theoretical Degenerate Serpentir (it’s in the Monster Manual 5; normally CR 4, but the template brings it down to CR 3), as it lets me act twice each round - two standard actions, two swift actions, and two move actions with no limitations… and I can burn Mythic for another standard, although that can’t be a spell.  Still… it means I can pump out four spells per round if I need.

For the feat, I nab Sanctum Spell.  With Versatile Spellcaster and Heighten spell, this permits me to cast 3rd level spells… and with Wild Arcana, that means I can cast any spell from my list of up to 3rd level as a Swift action by spending Mythic Power… of which I have an unlimited amount thanks to prior shenanigans.  

Yes, I am a munchkin.  The rest is pretty much just numbers - more hit points on me and my eidolon, more BAB, a skill boost for Sense Motive.

I can feel the cold breath of Death on my neck as he watches over me while I work, “So… you’ll now be spamming 3rd level spells, at will, and squeezing that in four times per round.  And you’re still just third level.  Oh, and for you, there’s no such thing as immunities anymore.  That’s nice.  And of course, more armor class.  Are you trying to be indestructible?”

“That’s … pretty much the plan, yes.  It’ll still just be a caster level of five, but lobbing four Fireballs at someone, even at just a caster level of five, will take down quite a lot, especially if I maximize a bunch of the damage dice.  Although… it’s probably more efficient to use Scorching Rays and just automatically crit the attack rolls.  Four instances of double damage on a Scorching Ray works out to about one hundred twelve damage, while four fireballs at caster level five with ten of the dice maximized only works out to ninety five damage… and permits a reflex save.  Alternately, I could use a Save-or-lose effect like Suggestion four times.  I mean, Glitterdust, Stinking Cloud, and Web - especially when they ignore immunities - will hit each save and put a creature in dire straits pretty quickly.”

“You realize they’re going to figure out you’re not what you seem equally quickly.”

“I think Wally already has… however, I pretty much just told them I could handle traps - which is true - not that I was a member of any specific class… not that they seem to know about classes… so I can honestly say I haven’t lied to them… but yeah.  I messed up the charade by claiming I used a wand - he should know wands are easier to use than that, and that they always require a command word - which I didn’t speak.  I don’t plan to be lobbing fireballs just yet, so it’ll be a little bit until the other two figure it out.  Oh, as to that… any particular problems with claiming to be the champion of a fictitious deity?”

“You are free to say what you wish. Traditionally Champions are supposed to be honest about that sort of thing, but the only way you lose Champion status is if I revoke it, and that’s something I’m simply not going to do.  Well, Dad could revoke it too, but he is usually pretty hands off.”  Death pauses, “Usually.”

“Good to know he sometimes gets involved directly.  Well, I’m done, so…”

Death nods, “Be seeing you…” and the office fades away.

I stumble as I finish stepping outside the guildhall into the sun.  I wonder how long it’ll take me to get used to that transition?  I feel a slap on my back that I take care not to avoid.

“You BEAT the GUILDMASTER!”  That’s Paul’s voice, and he’s laughing, “Nobody does that.  Seriously, where have you been hiding?”

… oh.  Oops. “You mean I wasn’t supposed to?”

Carter laughs, “What, do you not know anything about the guild at all?”

That’s right on the money, “Eh, not really.  I was with my last party for a long time,” which is pretty true.  I’d been gaming with them since college.

Wally continues, “Ah, well… when someone gets old enough that they don’t want to risk their skin every day, but don’t want to get out of the business entirely, the guild sets them up as guildmasters.  Find a town, make a building really quick - and the guild mages are QUITE good at that…”

I briefly interrupt, “Yes, I noticed the place was made from Wall of Stone spells and shaped via Stone Shape.  That place could have gone up in less than an hour, depending.”

That raises Wally’s eyebrows, “So you’ve had some training in the arcane arts, then… makes sense, what with the ‘wand’.” Yes, I caught that pause, Wally, I’m sure we’ll need to chat later, but you seem to be OK with starting the conversation in private for now, and that’s good, “But yes, the guildmasters are tough folks who are not to be trifled with. And you beat him without getting scratched.  That’s some absurd ‘luck’ there…” and he quiets down a bit, “... and I’d like to chat with you for a bit later about how, exactly, you did that; you may have … glossed over some details with the guildmaster, and I’d like to hear EVERYTHING.”

I’ll need to be careful about what I tell him, then.  Also what I promise, as I have the drawbacks of an Oracle curse in my Mythic Tradition so I can have the power suit that is my Eidolon… breaking a promise will suck. But at least he’s planning on talking to me first, so that buys some time to think. "We can speak in more detail later… perhaps during my or your turn on watch?"

Paul jumps in, "You’re free to talk turkey on the magic stuff whenever - over my head - but you're not on watch, Dolly."

… right, not a diminutive, that's what I gave for my name at the gate… which we're now walking through; I hand two coppers to the gate guard, and briefly tell him why, before continuing the conversation: "Oh? Why do I rate special treatment?"

Carter laughs, "You’re not. It's a standard precaution for a new member; you don't get a watch until after you've completed a delve with us."

Wally smiles, "Trust issues; I'm sure you can understand taking precautions."

"It's reasonable enough, and gets me out of a few night watches I suppose," which is a pity, as it pretty much means I'll need to pretend to sleep longer. But I do need some information, "So… I've been on delves before," playing a game, but close enough, "But I no longer exactly trust my source of information on things like 'Why do dungeons exist?' - care to fill me in?"

Paul laughs, "Because of your prior party leader, right. Wally, you can explain better than I."

Wally muses, "Where to begin…  OK, so, you like magic, right?" I nod, "Well, all that power has to come from somewhere. A dungeon heart is the converter. They connect to the inner planes, and use the potential differences between them to produce mana fields, which everyone can then use. With me so far?"

I nod.

Wally continues, "But there's a problem: The planar energies… well, leak. The greater the demand for power on the local mana fields, the more leakage occurs. This leakage crystallizes into alchemical reagents, objects with magical potential, precious metals, gems, magic items…."

"I'm not seeing any downsides so far," but it's obvious you're getting to that.

"... and also monsters, traps, and some really interesting spacial warping that leaves tunnels and rooms where they have no right to exist," Wally continues.

"In other words, dungeons," Carter pipes up.

Wally sighs and continues, "... and monsters use mana, as do the magic items and traps that crystallize."

I chime in, "That sounds like it could easily snowball."

"Snowball?" Wally seems confused by the term. Huh, I wonder why it didn't translate well?

I explain, "Term from where I come from. If you're at the top of a mountain with a lot of snow on steep slopes, and you toss a small snowball onto the steep slope, it picks up a little snow, rolls downhill a little, picks up more snow, and so on, and pretty soon you have a giant ball of ice rolling down the mountain crushing everything in the way. If you're the one doing the snowballing, it's good, if you're getting rolled over, it's bad, but it's a term for any situation that grows itself quickly."

"An apt analogy, yes. Monsters are mobile, and will leave the dungeon eventually… or worse, stay there and grow strong soaking in more leakage, becoming stronger monsters. So dungeons need to be cleared out, and regularly. Hence adventurers. We kill the monsters, disable the traps, collect the loot, and everyone can keep using magic safely."

Paul rolls his eyes, "Everyone else, that is."

Wally chuckles, "Yep. It's a very dangerous job, so few want to do it. When nobody does… well, if it can't be maintained properly, it could cause a massive problem as stronger and stronger monsters start wandering out, so occasionally we're tasked with termination of a dungeon heart that's gotten out of control."

"So if they can be destroyed, they can be made…" I'm musing mostly to myself with that one….

… and Wally responds to it: "Yes. There's a few different rituals for it… all closely guarded secrets, because nobody wants a non-maintained dungeon in their backyard. You don't generally find out about them until the monsters start to wander, and by then you generally have a pretty nasty boss to take down, which of course will be guarding the heart itself."

Paul sighs, "Which is also why we're in a hurry.  Guess what our contract is for?"