Why are you special?

Yeah, I was a bit… distracted… and couldn’t really spend time thinking up a good yarn during the trip. Ah well.  I’ll stumble through, I guess….

“I’m not from around here, and honestly, I’ve no idea what terms I could use that would make sense to you.”

Wally raises an eyebrow, “Give me fifteen minutes and I can prepare Tongues if you want to do this in your own language.”

I shake my head, “Wouldn’t help. If I asked you what links levels, feats, skills, and class, how would you respond?”

Wally looks down at his shoes, considers a moment, and responds with, “Dancing?” as he looks back up at me.

I sigh, “That was not intended as a riddle.  You gave a better answer than I was expecting, though.  The deities are playing games, and I’m apparently one of their game pieces.  I was born on a completely different world, where the rules of reality bear … a passing resemblance, at best, to the ones here.  Then I died, and was placed in a body here.  I have a few things I can do related to how that happened, but… eugh,” I shake my head.

Wally hums briefly, “And that explains why you lied to the guildmaster about using a wand, or having a Belt of Stoneskin how, exactly?”

I laugh, “If people figure out how my abilities actually work, they’ll ask me to teach them - which I have no idea how to do - try to steal them, try to exploit them somehow, or try to take me apart to figure out how they work… oh yes, and I have it on good authority that I’m being hunted because of how I got here, so there’s at least one person who’d want to know about them to work around my defenses and kill me for good.”

Wally pauses at that one, “What, the normal path of burning the body to ash, mixing it with water, and purifying the resulting mud back to water isn’t sufficient?”

“Nope.  If I get killed in the dungeon, just hang out in the area for a while.  I’ll show up again in somewhere between a few days and a little over a week.  Potentially as low as one day, depending on what kills me.  If that’s not feasible, just grab my stuff and find a safe place nearby to hang out for a while.  I’ll see about finding you, so I can get my stuff back if for no other reason.”

“So you’re an immortal?”

“A higher end one, yes.”

“Immortality is a spectrum, now?”

“Well yes.  The guy who doesn’t die from age is a different kettle of fish from the guy who doesn’t age at all, and is different still from the guy who’ll get better after you cut his heart out, and then there’s the guy who can come back from just ashes… every flavor of immortality has different strengths, weaknesses, and workarounds.  Like… a troll will heal from any simple wound, but dies by fire or acid… well, depending on the type of troll… and can still starve to death, die of old age, drown, and so on; a proper vampire can retreat to it’s coffin when slain, and recover that way; a Lich will come back from nearly anything, unless you destroy the phylactery tying the monster’s soul to the world; a ghost will only stay dead if you put something ‘right’ by the ghost’s lights.  So a troll is more immortal than a human, a vampire more immortal than a troll, a lich is more immortal than a vampire, and a ghost is more immortal than a lich, and there’s creatures above those on the scale too.  Make sense?”

“Yes.  Speaking of… are you….”

“No, I’m not undead.  Technically.  Underneath it all, I’m still human,” Ish.  Hume, technically, but really, that’s Human with the serial numbers filed off, “... but the confusion is understandable.  I no longer need to eat, drink, breath, or sleep.  I don’t get tired, won’t bleed, won’t get sick, and can’t be poisoned.  But if Carter hits me with Cure Light Wounds, I’ll heal up just like you will.” Which is a curious quirk of wording: Monsterkin Freelancer gives me basically everything written under the undead entry… and stops just shy of actually giving me the undead type.  Cure spells hurt undead because the spell specifies it works that way for undead, not because of anything in the undead type… in the meanwhile, the undead type actually specifies that inflict spells heal them, so I heal from both… in theory, anyway.  Haven’t tried it yet.

“And the glaive thing?  Why did the guildmaster’s weapon bounce off your skin?”

Yeah, I’m going to lie about this one, “It wasn’t adamantine.  Those spikes on his armor could have been a problem, not sure what they were, they never hit me, but his main weapon was just steel.  The rest?  Well, I’m good at dodging.”

“And the ‘wand’?”

Wondered when he’d ask that one, “Yeah.  I can cast some spells, kind of like you.  Speaking of… for curiosity’s sake… what do you consider your own profession?”

Wally rolls his eyes, “I’m a wizard, of course.  Working on becoming an archmage, so I can get past the whole ‘Wally the Wizard’ thing.  But I’m a long way out from passing those tests.”

Huh, at least one of them lines up.  “Paul already mentioned he’s a crusader… what does Carter consider himself?”

Wally raises an eyebrow, “He’s a priest, isn’t it obvious?”

“Sort of… we have numerous different terms where I come from, each of which has a slightly different flavor of meaning: Priest, cleric, shaman, and more. I wanted to know which one he uses, so I'll get it right." OK, that is a half-truth. I do want to know what he calls himself, but titling him correctly is just a fragment of it. Mostly I'm curious if he realizes.

"A matter of respect, huh? That's fine. So what spells do you know?"

All of them, and then some,.. sort of, "I just cast them. I don't have them written down in a book that you can copy. I could make some scrolls, I suppose, if there's specific spells you want… that takes time and materials, though, and I'm pretty broke, so you'd need to fund me on it."

"Sure, but which ones?"

He seems way too interested… "If we're talking turkey on tactics, shouldn't everyone be here? You guys signed me on because I can do traps. And I can.  A couple of different ways; they're not hard. But if you can name a spell you want, I can tell you whether or not I can get it for you. It'll be a lot faster than listing off what I can do."  Also, I'm trusting you less by the minute.

He blinks, "But I want all the spells…"

Ah. Just vanilla greed. I can understand that. "Yeah, that's not feasible any time this year."

Wally seems confused, "It takes you that long to make a scroll?"

I grin, "No, each scroll just takes a day or so, like with anyone else."

He still hasn't caught on, "Then why…?"

So I spell it out for him, "I have access to just that many different spells."

"OK, now I know you're a liar."

I am, but not on that, "I'll show you in the dungeon, then. How far are we from that, by the way?"

Wally clearly doesn't believe me, "Right… well, we're about a mile away from it."

Um, come again? "Then why didn't we just push on the extra twenty minutes and start in on it tonight?"

"That's because Carter sells blessings… sorry, 'takes donations from the faithful, and distributes rewards to those who show their faith' … and I blew four sizeable spells getting us here."

"And you don't sell your power?" I raise my eyebrows. I mean, if there's a market, why not?

"Oh, I do, I'm just honest about it. Arcane spells don’t sell as well, though."

"Oh? Why not?"

Wally looks at me like I'm an idiot, "Because priestly spells are more useful in everyday life, while Arcane spells are more useful in the dungeon. Both are needed, though."

Maybe I am dense… "How so?"

"Well… I can fix a sprained ankle… if you don't mind the feeling of a devil looking over your shoulder… but if you're poisoned or sick and dying… I can't do much. Carter can. Also blindness, curses, and oh yes, injuries. Oh, I can sell Phantom Steeds to folks that are in a hurry to get somewhere within a few days' walk, but a light horse is less expensive, only a little slower, and you can sell it when you get there. Most the spells are that way, and any priest that's strong enough can have the priestly spell you want tomorrow, whereas if I don't have it in my book, you'll need to find a wizard that does.  With me so far little lady?"

… whatever, I need these people for cover, in some ways it's better if the lout doesn't think much of me, "Yes."

"But in the dungeon… Arcane spells are much better suited for battle. Walls to break a fight up into more manageable pieces, clouds to prevent beasts from using their ranged attacks, Invisibility to sneak past things… a priest's healing is still needed, but they’re not quite as well equipped for what we'll face in there."

"So Carter pulls ahead in town, but you pull your weight better out here. Hmm." Good to know. Of course, I get both, full time, plus Druid spells… and next level I should be getting 4th level spells, to boot. Just one more XP.

I ask Wally a few questions about what to expect in the dungeon, and he regales me with tales of his exploits, until he eventually grows tired and climbs the rope to wake Carter. I pretend I'm snoozing as the cleric climbs down, and "wake up" when he gets to a good vantage point….