Why are you special?

So where do I start?

I turn on my vibrator, and lightly touch it to my chest… starting with the right tap.  And … ooh, that's electric. How did Death describe it? "... libido pushing the limits of free will…" I think it was? It might be better if I find a way to take a cold shower…

… but this feels so good. I look the woman in the mirror in the eyes, and see longing there. I watch as she moves the vibrator from one tap to the other, dragging it across her massive melons as she does. A tingle follows in my chest, and she hums in pleasure the whole time; warmth building in my abdomen. She lifts one titanic teat to her mouth and sucks on it, and it feels electric. She slowly moves the vibrator down, drawing across her toned belly, and teases her lower lips, which are visibly dripping by now.  Ooh, it feels so nice when she makes contact. Oh, and her little nub is showing in her flower… I wonder… she shifts the vibrator there and… oooh, that feels nice.  My knees buckle as the woman in the mirror drops to the ground, and I stop paying attention to her, instead looking down at myself and sticking the vibrator in my hungry, hungry hole.  Oh, that’s the stuff.  Yes… it doesn’t take too long for me to feel the earthquake in my middle, my fluids falling all over the grassy ground in this very private place.  As I bask in the afterglow for a while, I start to wonder what the real thing would feel like.

… but I’m not going to indulge in that, yet.  Still don’t think I could deal with a guy’s face in mine.  Instead, I clean up.  I don’t know exactly what will happen to things in this space after I go, so I disintegrate everything except the mirror. It'll be a nice test to see what happens.

I also rest up; I plan to have some staves starting tomorrow, so I want the Technomancy sphere (it’s magic specific to technology, including adding or removing a small number of charges), Relic Manipulation (lets the sphere affect magic items and regular constructs), and Copious Charge (which puts the charges gained or lost up to my caster level). I plan to put Sprites in all three staves, and use the Power option with Copious Charge to keep them fully charged. Then stick them all in my Tattoo Chamber and pretend to actually cast the spells: It's not me, doing the actual casting, so my class features don't apply: There will be verbal components; spells will register as magical, be dispellable, and eventually expire. The three selected staves will let me play at being a cleric, druid, or wizard… and all visible effects will come from my left hand. I'll need to pick up the Staff of Passage when I can hold a fourth at level nine. Of course, this also means I have an arcane tattoo on my hand, to go with the one from the Create Magic Tattoo spell on my stomach. Simple makeup via the Instant Disguise spell fixes both, as well as the unique symbol on my forehead from my Eidolon suit.

For now, though… ugh. So boring doing nothing. I need eight hours of this…

After my time elapses, I update my Spheres Known talents from Well of Miracles to handle the plan, and leave.

Back in the inn room, I dismiss the Fairy Ring Retreat… and watch as the mirror appears in the spot.  Good to know.  Locate Creature three times, plus a little walking to triangulate, tells me where to find Christine, Wendy, and Paula. A few Clairvoyance spells tell me how they're doing:

Paula is on her back, sleeping off a hangover, her outrageously sized melons flopped to either side… a naked elven man buried between them. I can see some slightly viscous white liquid dripping out of her lower slot.  I guess she risked it in a drunken stupor. Christine is also sleeping off a hangover, naked in bed, the head of a mace in between her legs, the handle still buried an impressive distance into her.  Wendy is dressed, sitting at a desk, and studying a book.  Guess I know who to talk to. I dismiss the scrying sensors.

《Hi Wendy, are you up?》

《Yes, Studying my spells, still getting used to the new name. I don’t really expect a fight today, but it's better to be ready for one. Focusing on nonlethal takedowns because of possible townies getting caught in the crossfire. Leaving some slots open in case of business… what can I do for you?》

《I was mostly curious how I pick up my purchases.》

《Oh, you just take the money to the guildhall. With YOUR order, they'll be here by this afternoon. Us smaller spenders will be waiting a week or so, unless it happens to be exceptionally convenient for your delivery mage.》

《Cool, thanks… anything I can help you with, as long as we're talking?》

《I’m good, thanks, those stealth spells of yours are a considerable help already.》

They'll get better if and/or when I start handing out Personal spells, too… 《I'm happy to help. It gets better after I get some gear. Oh, and that reminds me… I cooked up some gifts last night. I can hand them out once everyone is up.》

《Oh? Alright then. Catch you later.》

《Be seeing you.》

A few Secret Pockets spells (it turns a container into a bag of holding - normally temporarily, but in my case, Permanently) and my outfit can hold enough coinage to actually pay for my purchases. I then use Fabricate to make enough bags of platinum coins - Sovereigns, apparently - to actually cover the bill. Because I want to be seen pulling the cash out of storage, rather than making it out of thin air.

I head downstairs to the common room of the public house… and apparently some folks slept here overnight. Right… I wanted a room for the privacy… this is "common" accommodations. What I had was apparently "Good" accommodations. Ugh. I could make a better inn with just a handful of spells… but then, I'm cheating: I have access to things that do not otherwise exist in this reality.

Also, I'm so glad I don't need to use chamber pots!

I head over to the guildhall, and… yep, Francis is there, in full armor, dealing with paperwork. Curiosity overcomes me, and I use Clairvoyance to look over his shoulder… apparently, they have pulp fiction here, too. He's got a steamy novel about a strange, magicless land, where this "technology" stuff is widely available, for a price, and handles all the normal stuff that sensible people use magic to do.  And he’s currently reading a love scene between two guys.

… not to my tastes. I dismiss the sensor, and greet him: "Hello Francis, has my delivery arrived?"

I get a ping on Greater Anticipate Teleportation. It has intercepted and delayed an inbound traveler, who's going to be arriving just behind Francis in eighteen seconds.

Francis looks up, "Hello… Donna, was it?... Not just yet, they usually don't show up until later in the day… and didn't you just order yesterday?"

It… might be my delivery, no reason to take up a combat stance… Life’s champion has me jumpy, though.

Francis looks at me as I tense up, and starts in with "What’s got a bee in your bonnet, missy…" but he trails off as a man in gray robes and a matching wide-brimmed hat appears behind him, escorted by two stone golems wearing backpacks. All three of them glow merrily to Greater Arcane Sight, there's about a dozen buffs on each.

Good, just a high level wizard. Not a threat.

The mage speaks, "So… I'm here for Donna…"

"That's me," I pipe up.

The mage looks me over, "Hmm. Are you aware of the penalties for trying to cheat the guild?"

No, but it doesn’t matter, "It's a good thing I'm not. I have the money right here."

I start to reach into my pockets as the apparent guild mage speaks, "Look, that kind of coinage takes up a huge amount of space, and it’s obvious you don't have a speck of magic…."

He trails off as I pull the first heavy bag out of my pocket, followed by the second, and the third, and the fourth… “Look, sometimes a trap in a dungeon is triggered by magic, so I get myself and my gear cloaked in Magic Aura spells to suppress that before we go in, and those last for days and days, all right?  And yes, we had a bigger than normal haul recently.  But you really don’t need to rub it in that I don’t do magic myself.  That’s why I get staves.  I know a few folks that’ll recharge the staves for cheap, so they’re good buys.”

The guild mage just stares for a while after I pull out bag after bag - seriously, it takes the lion’s share of two hundred of the ten pound bags of platinum coins to cover my bill - as Francis dumps each out and confirms the weight of platinum of each.  After a while, the mage tries casting the area version of Greater Dispel Magic on them.  

I respond to that, “Hey, watch it with those!  I’ve got some expensive long-term spells over here!  Feel free to waste your magic zapping the coins with as much anti-magic as you want, but keep me out of the area unless you want to pay for the spells you break!”

He tries a few more times, this time keeping me out of the area… he does put out a couple of Francis’ lights, though.  The coins, being completely non-magical, studiously ignore the mage.

After Francis is done counting out coins - and chuckling the whole time - I look at the guild mage, “So… my stuff?”

The guild mage looks at me, “You just lost me ten grand, little miss.”

You really don’t want to try and take it out of my hide, “I’m just doing honest business, which you’ve taken great pains to demonstrate for yourself.  If you’ve lost money, your own bad bets are your problem, not mine.”

The guild mage takes a deep breath, “True enough.  Fine.” He pulls a wrapped bundle out of a golem's bag - one far longer than should actually fit, but bags of holding are like that - and hands it to me, using both hands to hold it, “Your order, madam.”

I take a moment to unwrap it and examine each item in detail… I pretend to just be admiring the craftsmanship, but I’m actually using Analyze Dweomer to make sure everything is exactly as stated.  And it is; the guild mage is a bit grumpy, but he doesn’t seem to be cheating me. I stick the Ioun Stone in the Wayfinder, slip it in a non-magical pocket, and put the rest in one of my enchanted pockets for now.

I look the guild mage in the eye, “Pleasure doing business with you.  And please… don’t insult my integrity again, hmm?  It’s one thing to test the coins, it’s quite another to start with questions and statements that assume I’m out to cheat you.”

The mage responds with, “Bah!” before collecting the coins and casting Greater Teleport to get himself and his mobile statues away.

Francis laughs long and hard after the mage is gone, "OK, that was funny, but was it really a good idea to antagonize him like that?"

He can't do anything much beyond badmouthing me, "Maybe not but… too late now. And it's not like I threatened him or anything. If he becomes a problem… well, I have ways of dealing with grumpy mages." Attuned Mysticism on Planar Binding should work wonders, especially when I can do it from a dead magic plane of my own creation, although that does have a requirement… "Do you have his name, by any chance?"

"Oh, that was Arnold Fredrickson. Not my favorite mailman." Francis is quite helpful.

"Thank you." I take my leave.