Wish You Were Sober

Friday September 3rd, 2021

REMUS

"Oi! Remus!" Sirius shouted from the other side of the bathroom door. "James and I are ready to go! Are you coming or not?!"

Remus walked over to the door and opened it to reveal Sirius. He had his hair half up in a bun and wore a black V-neck under his leather jacket that displayed his tattooed chest. He wore black ripped jeans and combat boots. Silver jewelry dawned his ears and fingers. When Remus realized he was staring, he cleared his throat. "Uh, yeah. I'm coming just let me grab my phone really quick."

He walked over to his desk as Sirius leaned against the door frame, arms crossed. "So, do you exclusively wear grandpa sweaters or are the rest of your clothes still in your childhood closet?"

"What, you don't think it's fashionable?" Remus quipped as he unplugged his phone and turned back to face Sirius. "Besides, this one's my favorite." He looked down at the black sweater that had the moon phases embroidered across the front.

"Ah, a space nerd," Sirius smirked as he replied. "Come on, let's get going or we'll be more than fashionably late."

Remus took a deep breath and followed Sirius through the bathroom and into his dorm where James waited by the door in his cropped oversize t-shirt and ripped blue jeans. The three of them walked out into the hall, down the elevator, and out of the building.

Remus scolded himself for his eyes lingering too long on Sirius. Get your shit together, Lupin. He's not an option.

—-------

MARLENE

The music blared, the lights strobed, and the house was packed. Needless to say, the party was in full swing when Marlene arrived. People were dancing, drinking, and kissing their way through the night. Everyone seemed to have someone. Except Marlene – they needed a drink.

After surveying the room, Marlene made their way through the crowd attempting to reach the red-clothed refreshment table. The table was packed with different snacks and drinks including a bowl full of strong-smelling punch. Marlene decided it was probably safest to choose a can from the cooler rather than taking their chances with said punch. While pouring the drink into a cup with ice, someone else reached for a cup.

"Sorry," Marlene muttered absently, moving out of the way.

"Oh, it's no problem, darling," a sweet voice chimed. Marlene looked to see a girl in an orange body suit with dark, wide-leg trousers that hugged her hips. "It's quite crowded."

The girl had a gorgeous smile that made her nose, and eyes crinkle. Marlene smiled back. "Oh, hello. And you are?" Marlene prompted for her name.

"Mary Mcdonald," The girl answered, waiting for Marlene to reciprocate.

"I'm Marlene McKinnon," they replied in turn. "And I'm in desperate need of a friend. Did you come here with anyone?"

Mary gave a small laugh. "No, I'm by myself tonight."

"Then the stars have aligned, Mary," Marlene mockingly clinked their plastic up cup to hers. "Let's have some fun."

They both took a sip from their cups.

"Wow," Mary coughed as she pulled a face. "That is terrible."

Marlene laughed. "And that's why I didn't risk punch."

Mary snickered. "What do you say? Should we find some people to dance with?"

"Let's get this party started!" Marlene squealed with excitement and grabbed Mary by the hand to pull her into the crowd.

The dance floor was packed with people having a good time and Marlene let all their worries drip away as they danced with Mary. The two of them moved to the music gracefully, occasionally bumping hips and giggling. Tonight was just the kind of night Marlene needed. No unnecessary drama, no toxic friends, and no fucks to give.

—-------

JAMES

James had never seen so many beautiful people in one place. Everyone glowed under the lights and the influence of alcohol. The dance floor was flooded with guys dancing with their girls - guys dancing with their guys - girls dancing with their girls - and James was loving it.

He let out a gruff laugh and hit Sirius playfully on the chest. "Let's go, mate!"

Remus smiled at the two of them. Maybe if James hadn't had his eyes fixed on a gorgeous redhead, he might have noticed how his two friends quickly looked away from each other, blush creeping up their faces.

"Come on lads, let's get a drink." James led Sirius and Remus over to where the redhead and her friend were replenishing their drinks.

"Ten pounds says she rejects him," Sirius whispered into Remus' ear.

Remus chuckled and shook his head. "I'm not taking that bet. Look, she has a lesbian pride pin on her purse."

James continued to approach the girls, running a hand through his messy dark hair. "Hello there, ladies."

The two girls looked up at James. The redhead had stunning green eyes adorned with shimmery eye makeup that matched her glittery lavender dress. Her friend wore her box braids in a high ponytail. Her dress was emerald with a plunging neckline to show off her many gold necklaces.

"I'm James Potter." He flashed a charming smile. "And these are my mates Sirius Black and Remus Lupin." He pointed to them as he said their names.

The redhead smiled back. "Lily Evans."

"And I'm Dorcas Meadowes, but you can call me Cas." The other girl took a swig of her drink, not showing very much interest in James.

"Dorcas, huh?" Sirius smirked at her. "Looks like I found another person whose parents weren't sober whilst picking baby names."

Dorcas snorted into her drink. "I'll drink to that."

"So, Potter," Lily turned back to James. "Is there a reason you came over here?"

James ran a hand through his hair again. "Well, I couldn't help but notice how absolutely stunning you look tonight, so I thought I would ask you for a dance. What do you say, Evans?"

"Well, I must say I'm flattered; however, I'm a lesbian." Lily gestured to the pin Remus had seen on her bag.

Sirius and Dorcas both let out a laugh. Although, unlike Sirius, Dorcas tried to hide it behind her drink.

"Oh God! I'm so sorry!" James flustered. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. Fuck, Lily, I'm so sorry."

Lily laughed softly. "Relax, Potter. You didn't make me uncomfortable. And we can still dance if you want. I just didn't want you to think you were asking a straight girl to dance."

James' face was bright red. "Sorry, really. I of all people should not have assumed you were into guys."

Lily raised an eyebrow at him, questioningly.

"I'm pansexual," James explained.

Lily nodded in understanding. "I promise it's really alright," she said. "This isn't the first time this has happened and you've by far been the nicest about it." Lily gestured to the group. "Come on, let's all get on that dance floor."

Lily grabbed James' hand and pulled him towards the crowd and Dorcas followed after them. Remus began to go along but noticed Sirius wasn't moving.

"Sirius, are you coming?" Remus asked.

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, just a minute. You go on ahead though."

Remus looked at him confusedly, but conceded. "Alright then…"

A few hours later and James was having the time of his life. He danced carelessly to the 2010s hit radio that was surely playing. He sang along with the crowd to the One Direction song that flooded the room.

"Maybe it's the way she walked!" James shouted as he jumped and danced cheesily with Lily. "Straight into my heart and stole it!"

Lily laughed. "A Directioner are you?"

"Of course I am!" James announced incredulously. "Who isn't?"

"Oh no," Sirius interjected, his words starting to slur together. "Don't get him started on One Direction. He'll never stop."

Remus chuckled. "You have to admit, they are pretty hot."

Sirius groaned. "Not you too, Remus!" He exclaimed. He leaned into Remus as he danced. James knew Sirius had had too many drinks. He was practically hanging onto Remus as if he couldn't stand on his own.

"Oi Sirius, maybe you need to slow down on the drinks, mate," James suggested before turning back to Lily.

"I guess I never really saw the appeal. Like sure, they have great music, but everyone goes absolutely crazy over those boys." Lily shrugged.

James mockingly clutched his chest. "I don't think we can be friends anymore, Evans! Those boys were my gay awakening - maybe they were yours too."

Lily laughed. "You know what, you may be on to something there."

"One Direction was definitely my gay awakening," Dorcas laughed.

Suddenly, Sirius abruptly announced, "I'm going to get another drink."

James watched as Sirius removed himself from Remus and struggled to regain his balance as he pushed through the dancing people. Something was going on with him tonight. Sure, Sirius always loved a good drink, but this seemed excessive. James' eyes landed on Remus who was watching Sirius walk away with an odd expression that James couldn't quite place. When Remus turned back to the group, he made eye contact with James and quickly looked away, his face turning pink. Strange…

"Now this is my kind of music," Lily exclaimed pulling James from his thoughts.

James snorted. "Miley Cyrus? Really?"

"You say it with that tone, Potter, yet you know that this is Miley Cyrus," Lily smirked. "Would you care to explain how that is?"

James laughed and shook his head. The night was just getting started.

—-------

SIRIUS

Fuck those lights. Fuck this drink. Fuck Remus Lupin. And fuck how the lights and this drink make Remus look like an actual Greek god.

They'd been here a few hours and Sirius had downed way too many drinks. James had told him to slow down but James didn't know. He didn't know how the lights danced across Remus' face. He didn't know how Remus' jumper rose just enough to see his mid-drift when he raised his arms while dancing. He didn't know how absolutely beautiful Remus Lupin's laugh was. But Sirius knew. Goddamn it, he knew. And it was going to kill him. He needed a distraction, so he downed another glass. And another. He found himself spending more time by the liquor than with his friends.

Sirius stood, eyes mindlessly wandering the room. He hated how they seemed to keep landing on Remus. He filled his cup again.

Fuck me, he thought as he drank.

"Another one?" An unfamiliar voice asked from behind him. "I've seen you over here at least three times in the last hour."

"Five," Sirius muttered.

"What?" The blonde inquired, raising a perfect eyebrow.

"Five times," Sirius looked up, taking a drink.

"Wow, okay then." A smirk crept up their face. "Anyway, I'm Marlene McKinnon."

"I'm Sirius Black." He wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his jacket.

"It's nice to meet you, Sirius." They watched as he downed the rest of his drink. He went to fill his cup again, but Marlene caught his hand. "Are you sure that's a smart idea?"

Sirius shrugged and proceeded, and Marlene laughed.

"Well, Black, I have to say, I'm perplexed."

"And why is that?" Sirius smirked at them.

"A pretty guy like you surely has a date." Marlene nodded towards the table. "Yet you've been over here the whole night. Do tell, who are you here with?"

Sirius laughed. "I'm flying solo at the moment. Just here with some friends."

"Is that so." Marlene took a step closer to him, a hand reaching to brush some of Sirius' hair out of his face.

They are really gorgeous, Sirius thought. "I'm afraid so." Sirius' free hand found its way to their waist. Marlene reached for Sirius' cup and placed it down on the table.

"Then I'm sure you won't mind me doing this," they kissed him, "would you?"

"No, I wouldn't mind one bit." Sirius smiled into their next kiss, and he brought his hand up to cup Marlene's face and they deepened the kiss.

—-------

REMUS

"I'm going to get another drink," Remus said. "You want anything, James?"

James shook his head. "Nah, I'm alright." He continued to dance to the music along with Lily and Dorcas.

"Lily? Cas?" Remus asked.

They both shook their heads.

"No thanks," Dorcas said.

"You're sweet, though." Lily placed a kiss on his cheek.

Remus turned and began to make his way through the crowd. It had been a while since he'd seen Sirius, and he briefly wondered where he had wandered off to.

Unfortunately, Remus didn't have to look too far. There Sirius was. In all his glory. Snogging some beautiful blonde girl right where Remus was headed. Suddenly, he didn't want to be here anymore. Without a second thought, Remus turned to head outside but not before catching Sirius' gaze.

Remus shoved his way through the throng of people and out the sliding door to the back patio. He was thankful there was a crowd outside for him to blend in to. Remus reached into his pocket, pulled out his vape, and brought it to his mouth.

Of course, he thought as he inhaled and closed his eyes. I should have known he was straight; I always want what I can't have.

15-year-old Remus clutched the straps of his bookbag as he walked down the hall that dreadful Monday morning. Everyone was staring at him - pointing at him. Why were they all staring? What could they possibly be pointing at?

Remus turned the corner, and his locker came into view. Several students were mobbed around it and as he got closer, he could see that there were big red letters plastered across it:

FAGGOT

He stopped dead in his tracks. He'd never told anyone. How did people find out? He'd been so careful…except that he hadn't. Last Friday night at that party. He had found a quiet corner to enjoy his drink in solitude. Then he walked over. Maybe he had been flirting, maybe he had just been being nice, but Remus asked him out and he was nice about it…at least that's what Remus had thought. Stupidly he had let his guard down. Now he was standing with his friends in front of Remus' locker.

"Look who it is," he announced as Remus approached. "The little queer himself."

"What do you want, Fenrir?" Remus asked trying not to sound afraid.

Fenrir's friend laughed. "So brave for a little girl." The other boys in the circle laughed along.

Remus tried to push his way to his locker but Fenrir stopped him. "Where do you think you're going?" He shoved Remus' shoulders. "You think you could just try and get with me the other night and not face the consequences?"

Remus stumbled backward at his force. "What do you want?" He asked again, this time his voice wavered.

"Admit it," Fenrir pushed Remus again. This time Remus' back hit the wall of lockers and Fenrir didn't let go. "Tell everyone what a pathetic little fag you are. Thinking every time a boy is nice to you, he wants you."

Remus tried to remove Fenrir's grip on his shoulders.

"Yeah, go on!" One of the other boys shouted. "Say it!"

Remus looked around at all the other boys in the hall. Some were whispering, others looked amused, and a few looked possibly concerned. Fenrir pressed his hands harder on Remus' shoulders. Remus felt his eyes begin to burn. No, he thought. I will NOT let them see me cry.

"This seems a bit harsh," Remus heard someone whisper.

"This is an all-boys school, what did he expect?" Someone else snickered in response.

"Come on, Lupin," Fenrir snarled. "Isn't this what you wanted? Me pressing you against the wall? Will you need to have a wank once I'm done with you?"

Remus' temper flared. He spat in Fenrir's face. "Fuck off!"

"You're going to regret that!" Fenrir shouted. He pulled Remus away from the wall and slammed him back against the lockers; Remus' head bounced off the metal. The noise seemed to ring in Remus' ears, drowning everything else out. Then s uddenly there was a jingling of keys and Fenrir let go of Remus as a teacher appeared. Remus rubbed the back of his head. Fuck, that hurt.

"Is there a problem, Mr. Greyback?"

"Not at all, Miss." Fenrir sent Remus a warning glare.

"Mr. Lupin?"

He looked over to see several boys blocking his vandalized locker from her view. "It's nothing, Miss Anders."

"Are you sure, dear?"

Fenrir narrowed his eyes, and Remus had no choice but to mutter, "Yes, ma'am."

"Remus!" Sirius' drunken voice pulled him from his thoughts. "There you are!"

Remus turned and saw Sirius staggering towards him. Sirius walked up to Remus with so much force he nearly fell over, and Remus caught him by the shoulders. He looked at Sirius' face and saw that his pupils were very dilated.

"Fuck, Sirius. How many drinks have you had?" Remus asked as he tried to steady him. "God, I can smell it on you too."

Sirius messily wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Remus, has anyone told you that you look so pretty in the moonlight?"

Remus' breath caught in his throat. "You're drunk, Sirius."

"So?" Sirius drawled; he reached to cup Remus' cheek. "That doesn't mean you're not pretty."

Remus grabbed Sirius' wrist and lowered his hand from his face. "I'm taking you back to your dorm." Remus slung Sirius' arm over his shoulders and wrapped an arm around his waist. "Come on."

Remus guided Sirius back through the party. He wondered if he should get James but when he looked around Remus noticed he was quite occupied with a fit-looking bloke in the corner.

Remus quickly texted James saying he'd taken Sirius back to their dorm before heading out and practically dragging Sirius down the sidewalk toward their building.

Remus had never been so thankful for elevators. He imagined trying to get Sirius up a few flights of stairs while not being completely sober himself would have been a disaster. He pressed the button on the wall and waited for the doors to open. Thankfully, Sirius seemed to be all talked out for the moment. The door opened and they entered, Remus pushing the button for floor four. The soft jazz music was the only sound for the 30 second ride. When the elevator arrived, Remus lugged Sirius out and down to the very end of the hall.

"Alright," Remus muttered when they reached James and Sirius' door. "Where's your key, Sirius?"

Sirius looked at Remus with a confused expression. "Huh?"

"The key to your dorm, Sirius."

"Oh, it's uh…it's in my pocket." Sirius fumbled through his leather jacket to find his key. He tried for a moment to unlock the door himself but was unsuccessful.

"Here, let me do it." Remus took the key from Sirius and opened the door.

"Woah, you're magic," Sirius mumbled in awe.

Remus pulled Sirius into his room. "Nope, it's just a key."

Sirius stumbled past James' bed and onto his own – his legs handing over the edge. Remus sighed and walked over to adjust him so he wouldn't end up on the floor in a few hours. Remus was also kind enough to remove Sirius' shoes and place them with the other pairs.

As Remus went to leave, Sirius said something Remus would never forget. "You're gorgeous, Moony."

"Moony? What does that mean?"

"You know, like your jumper," Sirius mumbled.

Remus blushed. "Goodnight, Sirius."

"Goodnight, Moony."