Yandere Dating System

"Alright, guy, what the fuck?" Cade demanded as soon as Aiden woke up. "I'm not gone a single day and you're already dead again. Explain yourself quick, because I have shit to do."

Aiden rounded on the bastard with righteous fury. "Me? You want me to explain? How about you explain why the flying fuck Rumi suddenly decided to murder me! She had a favorability of Fifty-three! Fifty-three!" He repeated harshly. "Why the hell would she suddenly pull this kind of shit? Trying to fuck me, I understand. I already beat her ass for that. But why the hell did I get shanked?" 

Aiden had experience Rumi's affection first-hand. Even if it was in a weird, perverted way, it still counted. Killing him had come totally from out of left field.

Cade's feathers were literally ruffled. His great ebony wings moved in annoyance. "Because, you little fuck, people are complicated. It only takes a single sentence to change their entire opinion of you. You think that's not the same here?" He growled. "They don't even mean the same thing for everyone. That fifty-three is mostly romantic and physical attraction kind of feelings, same with Naoko. And that fifty-nine of Angela's is mainly friendship and lust. Of course Rumi would react violently. Even thirty is a high number when it's just romance and attraction. It's denser! Sixty? If you're not dating, she's probably stalking you. Any higher and it gets even crazier. Plus, this is part of her trait! Obviously she'd freak out once she learns what you two were going to do."

The man's entire tirade left Aiden feeling bitter as hell. 

"And so why didn't you explain this before?" He quietly seethed. 

"Because I didn't think it'd matter! This system is just some random thing Kable cooked up for shits and giggles! I never thought you'd end up fucking up so bad that you'd die three times before the year is even out." He gnashed his teeth. "This system was meant just to help you gain some power once you figured out some of its functions. It was not supposed to be like some dating simulator, alright? Kable added that."

"And who the fuck--"

"Your nephew."

"Getting real tired of hearing that."

"Getting real tired of having to check up on your undead ass." Cade countered just as sourly. "And I didn't mention any of that aspect to the system since it was never supposed to be relevant," He said with anger. " All you had to do was give Naoko a little bit of attention. What in the Nine Hells made you agree to marry her? Rumi never would've gone so crazy if you had just behaved like a normal person!"

Aiden cursed loudly. "I thought if I backed down that'd drive her over the edge, alright?"

"She is obsessed with you," Cade said bluntly. "The only way she goes over the edge is if you make her think she's losing you. Give her a damn hug and she'll be happy, you stupid motherfucker."

"Oh go to hell, this whole world is insane, I thought maybe I should be too. Is that so hard to understand? And what's this nonsense about traits I'm just hearing about?"

Cade paused. "Shit. You can't see them? Wait, what about the percentage of different feelings they have?"

"The what?"

"The percentage! I told you, they have different feelings. Rumi's is mainly romance, lust, Angela's is friendship and lust. You don't see, like, a pie chart?"

"Jesus hell, there's supposed to be a pie chart?"

Cade groaned. "Fucking Kable, he probably delayed that update intentionally." The man frowned.

"Forget that, what traits?"

"They're like...like traits. What do you expect? Rumi and Naoko's make them prone to obsessive behaviors when triggered. Have you ever had something taken away from you, making you want it even more? It's like that."

"What does Naoko's mean, then?"

"That? She's utterly broken, what else? Eighty is a hard obsession, sure.  but that 9999 is just psychopath territory. Even those who obsess over you won't do much past weird shit like collecting your hair. Or trying to rape you." He tilted his head. " Actually, I see that Rumi's value did spike to eighty when she heard you were getting married, then rose to her mother's same number a little later. She must've decided to kill you at that time." 

"But Naoko was 9999 since forever and she never got violent." Aiden pointed out.

"Rumi isn't a killer. She wasn't willing to murder. Naoko always was, and is. That's the difference. The system can't really quantify the willingness to kill someone, so it ends up a strange number. Rumi probably thought something weird, making her snap and decide to kill you. You probably just didn't notice it change at that time."

Which means Naoko had basically always been willing to kill him if he gave her the right motive? Christ.

Cade was talking again. "In fact, I'm not sure why you didn't get the notification about that first spike." He seemed perplexed. "Kable might be fucking with you. I'm going to beat his ass next time I see him."  

"So let me get this straight, you're telling me these numbers are useless?"

"They're a guide, asshole. Read between the lines and you'll be fine. Don't worry too much. When the traits and pie charts come you can see who's normal and who's prone to being fucking psycho, you'll also know whether they think of you as more of a romantic interest or friend. Then you'll be able to navigate this shit show better. Just be mindful of what you say and you should see steady rises in favorability with people. And remember that they won't even change too often. Past the initial meeting, they'll appear less. You'd have to actually interact with the person more for it to change again, good or bad. Not to mention, it's not easy. If a person already likes you past a certain point, for example, you'd have to be a real dick to make their overall opinion of you drop. That's a permanent drop, by the way, affecting how they treat you. Unless you somehow raise it again, obviously."

"But even then, some people's feelings towards me will be quicker or slower to change than others? Depending on what I do or say? And can be positive or negative, to possibly extreme degrees because of their traits?"

"Yes." The man grunted. "I know, it's convoluted as hell but that's how people are. Humans are weird, that's all I'm going to say about it because thinking too hard about this makes my head hurt." He admitted. " Well, with a face like yours most people will start off liking you. Unless you're foul to them, that shouldn't drop either. Saying something that seriously triggers some trauma, or resonates with them greatly enough, is basically the only way I see normal people making any extreme changes in feelings toward you. Barring that, you can be a bit of a dick and the number would change in small ways if they even change at all. Well, I think there was a time Rumi's affection rose because you were mean to her," The Angel admitted. "She must be a bit masochistic."

"You can make them either love or hate you with a simple phrase, then. And never know it until it happens." Aiden surmised. "Though I can  know it, thanks to this system."

"Exactly. I'll say it again: Humans are weird. Their emotions are both fragile as hell and stubborn as fuck. Don't bother trying to understand them, you'll drive your own self crazy."

Words to live by. Psychologists must be borderline depressives themselves, he'd bet

....Anyway, Aiden wanted to find this Kable and stick his foot so far up the man's ass he'll taste leather for the next month. 

What was even the point of such a piss-poor value system? A guide? Fucking hell. Granted, it's not totally useless. Being completely fair, Aiden just really does have bad luck, he supposed. Right? Not to mention, Cade thinks that bastard Kable intentionally delayed the update and was also fucking with him in other ways. Like missing that notification of Rumi's spiking "affection" which was really just an indication of her going from a pervert with a bad crush on him to an obsessed psychopath. 

Probably because he wanted something like this to happen in the first place. Aiden knew Naoko was a lost cause, but he had no idea Rumi was prone to the same shit too given the right "stimulus." She's almost molested him before, but this was a whole other can of worms. Plenty of women had done the same as Rumi before to varying degrees of success. Its not like he would hate her for it, he just didn't appreciate it. Killing him? Yeah, he's a lot saltier about that one.

Of course if this lazy cunt had taken the time to explain all this before instead of hiding behind bullshit excuses--

"Kid. Go eat a bag of cocks."

Whatever. Mind reading little bitch. 

Aiden imagined the man getting raped by the thorned pricks of angry demons and made an eye of his twitch.

"Now that's just uncalled for."

He was ignored. Anyway, fine...Aiden fucked up, too. In hindsight, deciding to be crazy was not a wise decision. He admits that. 

Maybe if he was in his right mind, he wouldn't have done that. 

He really needs to calm the fuck down. All this time he'd been drinking his sorrows away on top of working nonstop on the bakery. Plus he kept letting Naoko's clinginess irritate him, made worse by the fact he neglected to give in and spoil her so maybe she'd stop for a while. 

Know what? Fuck this. He's better than this. 

Aiden, contrary to his shit choices recently, is no dumbass. He's just a very stressed-out, possibly depressed alcoholic in a world of flying swords and one-eyed unicorns. Or whatever the fuck that ugly-ass beast was.

But no more excuses. It's time for a goddamn change. 

Know what he needs? Weed.

Ungodly amounts of weed. No, maybe some cocaine.

Cade facepalmed.

"Really that bastard's brother...." He sighed. 

And a woman. 

"Because of course you do."

Maybe several.

"No matter what you claim, you are, in fact, a dumbass. If nothing else you're stubbornly refusing to learn anything."

"What I learned is that I need to get the fuck away from these crazy bitches." Aiden responded. 

"And is that what you're going to do?"

"I rather like my head attached to my body."

Saying so, Aiden began searching online for places to rent. 

Maybe once he works long enough he can afford a place in another continent altogether. Or state. Whichever.

He'll do some research. 

"By the way, before you go--"

"Join a sect or Battle Academy if you want to learn how to cultivate properly." Cade cut him off. "I forgot to mention that before, sorry."

He fucking forgot. 

"Yes, I did. I have a war in my back yard, remember?"

"No." It really didn't matter to him.

"Prick. Anyway, the system has a store where you can buy cultivation methods but I wouldn't recommend it. You know fuck all about your meridians. You could end up exploding yourself if you tried to cultivate without someone guiding you. Wait until you learn how to circulate your energy through your body, then you can cultivate using different pathways."

"Anything else i should know before you leave."

"Well that depends. Are you fine with how things are right now? Rumi's still pretty crazy with you, and you can fix that." He said temptingly. 

Alright, he'll bite. "How?"

"Just keep on dying." A full-blown grin. "Each time you do, your last 'save point' becomes your new destination for if you die in the same day. Since there's a cooldown period after your first death, if you die again within the next 24 hours or so you won't go back to that day. You'd go back to whenever it was you last slept prior to that one." He explained.

"The heck does that mean? If I last slept two days ago, I'd wake up then instead of like ten minutes ago if you killed me right now?"

"Yeah. If you survive past the cooldown period you wouldn't be sent back two days ago and just end up here again. But yes. You could relive this day forever, I guess? If you kept dying past a certain hour each time. Neat eh?"

Aiden's headache was increasing. "So what you're saying is, I can keep dying or killing myself as soon as I wake up, and eventually find myself back to when I first came to this world?"

"Neat, huh?" He repeated. And with that, he disappeared. 

Fuck my life. I am not doing that.

He firmly rejected the idea.

I can keep Rumi happy, he thought.  How hard can it be? They're both obsessed with me.

...I'm going to have to marry both of them, aren't I?