Beers and Beards: A Cozy Dwarf Tale

Pete stood and waved at the young gnomess as she entered the cafe.

"Hey Lillyweather, over here!"

The mousey haired girl smiled brightly and made her way over, awkwardly maneuvering around a beladen barista as she did so.

"Hi Peter!"

"Pete is fine. It's great to see you." Pete offered his hand in greeting at the same moment that Lillyweather moved in to initiate a hug. An awkward shuffle of hands, arms, and feet followed until the pair decided on a companionable handclasp. Pete cleared his throat and moved to pull out her chair.

"Thank you. It’s good to see you too." Lillyweather replied. She moved to sit and bumped her foot against the table, spilling Pete’s drink. “Oh gosh! I’m so sorry. I’m not quite used to this thing yet.”

She rubbed absentmindedly at her right leg. She was wearing short brown leather shorts, and her visible thigh was a matte metal the colour of porcelain.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. I can just go get another one. Do you have a preference?”

“Two cream and two sugar please.”

Lillyweather giggled. “That’s a unique way of putting it.”

An odd expression passed over Pete’s face. “Ah, yeah. It’s the way I like my coffee too, so I came up with a name for it.”

“Double double, huh? I like it.” She smiled and Pete smiled back. There was a brief moment before Pete took a deep breath.

“Right, the coffee.” He walked over to the counter to order. Lillyweather watched him patiently for a while before pulling out a hand mirror. She closed it with a *snap* as Pete walked back to the table. He placed down the drinks alongside a pair of plates; each a tower of white sponge cake and strawberries piled high with whipped cream.

“Ooooh, strawberry cake, my favourite!” She exclaimed.

“It’s everybody’s favourite. I just wish there was some chocolate.” Pete sat down and took a drink from his cup. “Ahhhh… perfection.”

“What’s chocolate?” Lillyweather asked, as she dug into the slice of cake. She took a dainty mouth watering bite of the creamy concoction. *mmmmm*

"Something I ate once. I haven't found it locally." Pete laughed. “You’ve got a little something there.” He pointed to a glob of whipped cream on her cheek.

“Here?” She licked at the wrong spot.

“No, here.”

“Here?”

“No.”

“Where is it?”

“Right there.”

“Can you just get it?” Lillyweather pointed her chin across the table and Pete leaned across to wipe the cream off with a napkin. Lillweather looked slightly disappointed as she slid back into her chair.

There was a moment of silence as the two ate and drank. Pete broke it first.

“I was a bit surprised when I got your message about wanting to meet. What’s up?”

Lillyweather’s face turned a slightly deeper shade of pink than her makeup. “I just… wanted to thank you. I heard about what happened at the mine. Without your help… Anyways, I’m glad you were able to take some time to meet me!”

“Of course! So, how are you doing?”

A shadow passed over Lillyweather’s face. “I’m doing ok. I- I've been off work for a while. The college is paying for me to get some counseling and extended vacation time. Professor Copperpot got me a great prosthetic from the research branch at the university, it even has tactile sensation!” She knocked on the leg which made a sound like rapping on plastic.

“It looks great, by the way.” Pete smiled.

“Thanks.” Some of the cheer returned to Lillyweather’s face. “You too.”

“What?”

“Um, howhaveyoubeen?” LIllyweather said in a rush, before taking a deep drink of coffee.

“I’ve been fine. I’m mostly busy with the brewery. I did get into the top ten at the Barck Beer Brawl though!”

“Really? What happened?”

“Well you see…”

Pete waxed poetically about his adventures since leaving the mine while she listened with rapt attention. Lillyweather laughed and Pete joked until the cafe got busy. They packed up and parted, as friends.

—

“So this is the Minnova City Library, huh?” Pete put his hands on his hips and looked around. “I was imagining a lot more floating bookcases, and stacks reaching up ten storeys.” The library was normal sized, though the stacks did reach to the ceiling. A sound-dampening red carpet stretched in between the shelves, with a few nooks here and there for readers. A squat red golem with four arms and legs walked by and picked up some books on its back before trundling off.

“At least that’s magical.”

“It's naht ‘Tha’ Minnova City Library, Pete. It's ‘a’ Minnova City Library.” Richter closed the door behind them and moved up to the front desk. His deep Nigerian accent pitched to avoid carrying in the chill silence of the space. “Nice ta see ya, Uric.”

The librarian nodded companionably. His long, braided beard bounced on the desk as he did so. The nameplate in front of him read ‘Uric Mcbook.’

“Evening, Richter. Are ya studyin’ again?”

“Na, ahm here ta give tha tourist ova der a crash course.” Richter pointed at Pete, who was slowly spinning around and taking everything in.

“Ah, well, make sure he knows the rules.” The librarian nodded to Richter who caught Pete’s attention and lead him away.

“Don’t I need a library card?” Pete asked as they walked between the tall bookshelves.

“Why? Jus give dem yer ID if ya take any books. City ‘all takes care of alla dat.” Richter led them to a small collection of tables. A few gnomes and dwarves were seated around them with dour expressions and eyes that told of many sleepless nights. Richter indicated Pete should take a seat while he went and obtained something to read. He returned moments later with a leather-bound book the width of a dwarvish thigh and gently placed it on the table. The cover read City of Minnova Ordinances.

“Here ya go.”

“Dear Gods, do I need to read all of these?”

“It shouldn be dat ‘hard.” Richter frowned. “What’s yer intelligence?”

“High enough, I’ll have you know!”

“As long as it’s above twelve, ya shouldn’t ‘ave too ‘ard a time rememberin’.”

“Come to think of it…” Pete frowned. “Yer right. I haven’t forgotten much anymore. I lose track of it, but don’t forget as much.”

“Then dis should be easy.” Richter sat down beside Pete and got comfortable. “Tha Goldstones are payin’ me ta make sure yer up ta date on tha Ordinances. So let’s get started, ya?”

“Yes yes. How did you end up being the one doing this?” Pete flicked open the first page and began to read. “Huh, I didn’t even know you could do that with a pickle, I wonder…”

“Don’t try it, thas why it’s in dere.” Richter sighed. “I’m tha only one really still studyin’. I come to da library a lot, so they asked me to make sure ya were taken care of.”

“Are you at the Archis Academy too?”

Richter went quiet for a bit before he continued. “Not yet. I got some tings ta work out first.”

“Oh.” Pete didn’t push any further and the two of them sat in silence, reading for a while. Occasionally, Pete would hum or haw, and point to something for Richter to explain. Richter pulled out an old and ratty leather notebook that had ‘Ricky’ written across it in large letters and took some notes. Pete nodded at it. “That looks old. Is it from when you were younger?”

Richter paused and looked at the notebook as if seeing it for the first time. “Aye. I’ve ‘ad it fer so long I don’t even tink about it anymoar.” He smiled. “It was from me Da.”

“Oh.” Pete looked like he’d sucked on a lemon. “I heard some… stuff from Annie, but not too much.”

“She don’t like Da, but he deserves it.” Richter said in a terse voice tinged with regret. “He worked fer Mr. Goldstone over sixty years after dey took us in.”

“I heard he saved Mr. Goldstone’s life.” Pete angled his chair to talk, the book of ordinances temporarily forgotten.

Richter nodded and leaned back in his seat. He pulled at his dreadlocked orange beard as he reminisced. “Mr. Goldstone was almost hit by a runaway cart. We’d just immigrated from tha south then, and Da was lookin’ fer work when he was passin’ by and saw it. He shoved Goldstone just in time. Da broke his leg and was up fer a few weeks. Tha Goldstones took us in and gave us a home and honest work. I went to a city school, and Ma eventually went to work at tha Market.”

Pete nodded and let the large black dwarf continue.

“Tha rest were all goin’ ta Archis Academy, and I wanted ta go too.” Richter looked up at the ceiling and reached a hand to an imaginary sky. “I wanted ta learn magic.”

Pete gulped. “I can understand that.”

“Da did too, but we couldn’t afford it. We were buildin’ a new life here.” Richter sighed. “So when anotha’ brewery offered ‘im a lot more gold ta switch…”

“He didn’t!” Pete gasped and the small collection of bleary-eyed bookworms hissed. He waved back apologetically. “Sorry!”

Richter nodded sadly. “He did. I begged him no. That it spit in tha faces of tha Goldstones. But ‘e said ‘One day you’ll understand, me son.’ and went.”

“So… the Archis Academy?”

“Tha money is there. I could go tomorrow, I could pass tha entry test easy. But I just can’t. Mr. Goldstone, Ma, all the older folk seem fine with it. ‘Yer Da saved me life, and I’m glad I could get ‘im a good job.’” Richter smiled sourly. “But us younger ones feel betrayed. Like we came as thieves. Mebbe… mebbe one day I’ll take tha money, but not now.” His fist tightened on the table. “So I come here and study, hopin’ that one day Archis will notice me.”

“He will…” Pete smiled, a sick look on his face. “The Gods are always watching.”

Richter scrunched his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. “But not everybody gets Blessed. Yer stallin’ Pete, what’s da City of Minnova Ordinance Chapter 10, Section 4, Subsection 8?”

“Uhhh…”

The two of them continued for several hours, with Richter quizzing Pete and pointing out things he had missed. When it was time to leave, Pete checked out the Book of Ordinances and made his way out the entrance. He stopped as he realized Richter wasn’t following him, but was still as a statue at the door.

“What’s up?”

“Pete.. Pete… I… I….”

—

The three Gods looked up at a human male that had joined them, his arcane robes flapping as he lounged in the air over their heads. He was chewing on some peanut brittle and drinking an amber liquid from a tumbler glass that floated beside him.

“It’s a good show.” Archis commented around a mouthful of brittle. “But a twist always makes things more interesting.”

—

Pete lit a candle, and the gentle yellow light flickered over a pair of plates filled with food. Each was piled high with a fancy salad, complete with nuts and some very expensive berries. A fine drizzle of some kind of honey completed the dish and lent it a posh air.

“I… I’m starting to miss companionship.” Pete said, as he wrung his beard. “I’ve been so focused on getting into this brewery and starting a new life that I wasn’t really paying attention to romantic relationships. Yearns Yams! I was on a date with a pretty girl earlier this week, and didn’t even notice.” He sighed. “She’s a nice kid, and I know she’s technically older than me, but she just reminds me too much of… well, I don’t think we’ll ever be able to be more than friends. I’ll need to find a time and place to clearly turn her down.”

Pete took a bite from his plate and filled two tankards with beer. He pushed one across to his date.

"On top of that, I've been trying too hard to fit in. It's like I'm a freshman, trying to make new friends and acting like a fool to get in with them." Pete chuckled ruefully. "You'd think I would have learned my lesson in college."

He finished his plate, eating in companionable silence for a few minutes. The only sound in the dark room was the crunch of vegetables. Then Pete spoke again.

“And some of the things that Bar- a person recently told me have been messin’ with my head. So that’s why I asked you to join me for dinner tonight.” Pete paused and brushed a spot of sweat from his forehead. “That is to say, erm. I.. You… Caroline, my love, are you in there!?” He said the last in a rush.

*Meeeeeh* [Translated from prima donna goat] “What?”

A choked laugh came from a slightly ajar door to the renovated mess hall, and Pete stood up in a sudden motion. “Who's there!?”

Pete slammed the door open just in time to grab ahold of a fleeing Balin, Aqua and Annie having already made it outside. He achieved a chokehold and put on the pressure while Balin flailed desperately. “You enjoyin’ peepin’, bro!?”

“Pete!” Balin barely choked out. “Ya have to stop romancin’ tha goat!””

“Damn Barck, and damn you all!!!!”

—

“What on Erd did you do?” Tiara asked, reaching up to steal a slice of brittle from Archis’s plate.

Barck snickered. “Nothin’.”