Lost

Suddenly, he started interrogating me. As I glared at him, he laughed.“You get told you’re rude a lot, don’t you?”“What does that matter to you?”What the hell is this guy’s problem, starting a fight after having a meal?“What hourly rate are you looking for?”I was about to snap back with something rude, but then I caught myself. I remembered that this guy knew Kyunghwan. There’s a saying that holding back three times saves you from committing murder. I decided to hold back and responded.“Just as much as possible.”“Are you looking for a part-time job or a full-time one?”“Either is fine. As long as it pays well.”He chuckled at my response. Something about his smile sent shivers down my spine. It felt unsettling, like a slimy, creepy grin. Is that what a gay guy’s smile looks like? Jung Woojin didn’t smile like that. As I thought that, I realized how odd it was and tilted my head in confusion. Then, as if he had made up his mind, he spoke.“Then why don’t you work at my place? From 6 p.m. to 2 a.m., with one day off a week.”I couldn’t help but laugh. What is this guy saying? Telling me to work at his place? Is he out of his mind?“Salary will be 2.5 million won, including transport and meal costs.”“Forget it… What?”“If you do well for a month or two, I’ll raise it to 3 million.”“Boss!”Before he even finished talking, I grabbed his hand and shouted. It was almost instinctual. He seemed surprised at first but then burst out laughing.After that, we rode off in what was obviously an expensive car, heading somewhere.“Aren’t you going to answer your phone?”As he drove, he glanced over at me. I replied without much thought.“It’s not a call.”“Then what is it? Texts?”He widened his eyes. I nodded absentmindedly but paused. Other people don’t usually get this many texts, do they?“What… are you locked in some kind of KakaoTalk prison?”I nodded vaguely again and switched my phone to silent mode. Once it stopped vibrating, the silence became more noticeable. As I stared out the window at the passing scenery, I suddenly thought to ask.“So, what kind of place is your shop?”“You’re asking that now?”He chuckled as if something amused him. I frowned and asked again.“It’s not something illegal, right?”“Don’t worry, it’s all legitimate.”Legitimate business? Is it a bar? Or a pub? He mentioned working from 6 p.m. to 2 a.m., so it’s likely a bar.“What will I be doing there? Just serving?”Just as I asked, we pulled into an underground parking lot. As I looked around, he replied.“You’ll be in the kitchen.”“Excuse me?”I thought I misheard him, so I asked again.“Where?”“Just in the kitchen, cutting fruit, carrying heavy stuff, doing odd jobs. The guy who used to do that quit, so we need someone.”“But I can’t cook.”“Nobody can at first.”“What?”I asked, confused, but he unbuckled his seatbelt and pointed to my leg.“Your phone’s ringing.”Looking down, I saw “Jung Woojin” on the screen. I followed him out of the car and answered the call.“What?”— Sunbae, why haven’t you been checking your messages?“I’m busy. Hanging up.”— Wait a minute!Jung Woojin’s desperate voice echoed in the quiet elevator, catching the guy’s attention. He glanced at me, and I frowned.“Stop yelling.”— Why? Where are you?“Jesus, I said it’s loud, so stop yelling.”— Sunbae, where are you? Why is it so quiet?“Just tell me what you want!”As I yelled, the elevator stopped. I followed him out, still on the call.— Have you eaten?I had guessed it might be a pub or bar, and sure enough, the inside of the place seemed like a bar. It was a bit messy, likely because it wasn’t open yet, but judging by the size and the interior, it was a pretty upscale bar.“Boss, you’re here?”At that moment, a kid wearing a hoodie and jeans—he looked younger than Jung Woojin—popped out of nowhere and bowed. He glanced at me curiously, as if asking who I was.— What did you eat? Sunbae, are you listening?“Uh, hey, I’m kinda busy right now…”— Where are you?“I’ll call you back later.”— But you won’t, will you?“Jesus, stop nagging! I will! Stop sending me all those texts and KakaoTalk messages, or I’ll kill you!”I heard Jung Woojin’s voice calling me from the phone. After ending the call and shoving my phone into my pocket, I noticed both the boss and the younger guy staring at me blankly. I pulled my cap down and spoke.“Sorry, the call went a bit long…”“It wasn’t a KakaoTalk prison, but your girlfriend?” the boss squinted as he asked. For a moment, I was speechless. He must’ve heard the voice over the phone in the elevator, yet he calmly assumed it was a girlfriend. No matter how you heard it, it was a man’s voice. Then the younger guy, who had been glancing between us, spoke.“It sounded like a guy’s voice. Is he not gay?”“Probably not.”“…?”I stared at them, bewildered. Why the hell are they talking about being gay here? Seeing my shocked face, the younger guy grimaced and said to the boss with a hint of frustration.“Why would you hire a straight guy to work at a gay bar?”“So what? He’s just doing odd jobs.”“Did you tell him this is a gay bar?”“You do it. I’ve got plans tonight, so I won’t be able to come back later. You handle the opening and closing. Take care.”“Boss!”The boss patted me on the shoulder and said, “Good luck,” before hopping back into the elevator he had just arrived in, leaving the two of us alone in the large hall. The younger guy scratched the back of his neck awkwardly and looked at me, who was still in shock.“What should we do?”Do about what? I tilted my head, dumbfounded, and he sighed before speaking.“Just call me ‘hyung.’ What’s your name?”“How old are you?”I couldn’t believe this guy, who looked barely twenty, was asking me to call him “hyung” in a gay bar, no less. I scoffed as I asked, and he smiled and replied.“32.”“…”“So, I’m your hyung, right?”“…Yes.”Damn it. I responded weakly, and he continued.“As you heard, this is a gay bar. But since you’re just doing odd jobs, you’ll mostly be in the kitchen or storage, so you won’t run into many people. So, you don’t need to worry about that. But, if it still bothers you, that’s understandable.”I frowned as he spoke softly. Seeing that I was silent for a while, he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck again and said.“Why don’t you sit down and think about it slowly? Ah, do you want a drink?”“Yes.”“What do you want? Cola?”“Cider.”He brought back a bottle of cider and a cup.This 32-year-old hyung, who looked barely twenty, introduced himself as Lee Youngwoo. He told me to just call him “Youngwoo hyung,” and I resisted the urge to ask if he was gay. It was my first time meeting a gay person in real life. But then again, am I not also gay? No, wait. I’m not the gay one, it’s Jung Woojin who’s gay. It’s because of that guy that I almost ended up being mistaken for one. This is so confusing. I banged my head on the couch as I tugged at my hair, and Youngwoo hyung, who had been sweeping the floor, came over.“You okay?”I sat up straight again as he looked at me with concern.“Uh, yeah.”“Hmm, why don’t you go home and think it over? No one’s forcing you, so if you feel like you can’t do it, you can always contact the boss.”It seemed like he thought I was uncomfortable, which made me feel a bit guilty. I shook my head.“No, it’s fine.”I asked with a serious expression.“But if I’m only working in the kitchen and storage, I really won’t run into anyone, right?”“Yeah, you won’t. The paths for customers and staff are separate.”“And all I have to do is cut fruit, carry sacks, clean, that sort of thing?”“Sometimes, you might have to help with washing dishes if it gets busy.”The salary was 2.5 million won, and in a month or two, it could go up to 3 million. I jumped up from the sofa and said.“Please take care of me from now on.”“Did you decide to work here?”“Yes.”“Wow!”Youngwoo hyung raised his arms in celebration, welcoming me. Then he pointed to my phone on the table and asked.“Your boyfriend’s calling.”Damn it, this guy, Jung Woojin.“Hey, you idiot! Didn’t I tell you not to call me?”— Sunbae, you said you’d call me back, but you didn’t.“Give me a break! Has it been one hour? Two hours?”— Where are you?“I’m outside your house, you jerk! Hang up!”— Sunbae, wait!I was about to end the call when I heard him sounding tearful on the other end.— Did you eat?“Why?”— I didn’t.“Then go eat. I’m hanging up.”— Sunbae!“What now?”— Did you think about me today?“This little… Do you want to die?”— So, you didn’t?“I did! I’ll send you a text right after I hang up, so just hang up!”As Jung Woojin called out “Sunbae!” again, I mercilessly ended the call.＊ ＊ ＊I was planning on starting work today to learn the ropes, but for some reason, Youngwoo hyung told me to just start tomorrow and put me on the elevator. Just as I left the bar, a call came in.“What.”I weakly answered, and Jung Woojin asked with concern.— Why does your voice sound like that? Are you sick?I didn’t even have the energy to get mad anymore. Calling him names didn’t work either. With a sigh, I weakly responded.“I’m not sick.”— Then why do you sound like that?“Mind your own business. Why’d you call?”There was silence on the other end. Puzzled, I pulled the phone away from my ear and checked the screen. The call hadn’t ended.“Jung Woojin.”— I told you to call me Woojin.“Why aren’t you saying anything?”— Please call me Woojin.I was so thrown off by his random request that I couldn’t help but ask.“Did you keep calling just to say that? I had 40 missed calls from you.”I had plugged in my phone to charge, but it wasn’t charging properly, likely because Jung Woojin had been calling nonstop. Jung Woojin asked again.— Where are you?“Jung Woojin, you’re—”— Woojin.“Listen to me, you idiot.”— Then call me Woojin.“Should I hang up?”At that, Jung Woojin, likely worried I might hang up, quickly replied.— Go ahead, I’m listening.“Stop only asking me questions. Answer mine for once.”— What question?“See? Damn, you weren’t even listening.”— Ask me something else besides why I called.I was at a loss for words. Come to think of it, the only thing I’d asked him was why he was calling. As I stayed silent, Jung Woojin called me again. I was about to say something absentmindedly as I kept walking when I suddenly stopped. I looked up and saw a long row of trees lining the street, a wide 8-lane road, and cars speeding by. All the shops were either bars or motels, with just a couple of convenience stores. Where’s a bus stop? Or a subway? Since I had come here by the boss’s car, I had no idea where I was.— Sunbae, are you listening?“Huh? Yeah, I’m here.”I answered Jung Woojin absentmindedly as I continued searching for a bus stop, but there wasn’t one in sight. Not even a single bus passed by.— Have you eaten? Where are you right now? When are you going home?Jung Woojin, with unending persistence, kept asking the same questions. I thought I might have to take a taxi, but when I stood by the road, there were no taxis either. How the hell was I supposed to get home?— Sunbae.“What?”— Where are you?I hesitated for a moment. Should I tell him to come pick me up or not?— Sunbae.“Why do you keep calling me?”— Have you eaten?“No.”— Me neither.“And?”When I answered curtly, Jung Woojin went silent for a moment and then sighed.— …Just thought I’d mention it.Silence fell again. All I could hear were the cars zooming past. Standing there like an idiot, staring at the road, Jung Woojin spoke again.— Aren’t you hungry?“I am.”Another long pause. After some thought, Jung Woojin cautiously asked.— Do you want to have dinner together?It wasn’t a big deal, but he asked so nervously, like a prisoner awaiting a death sentence. As about ten cars passed by, I finally responded.“If you come pick me up.”Before I even finished speaking, there was a loud crash over the phone, like something had fallen over and broken.— I’m on my way right now! I’m coming!This idiot… He doesn’t even know where I am. I couldn’t help but laugh.Once Jung Woojin told me he was in his car, I leaned against a road sign and tried to explain my location.“Just follow the main road from downtown…”— The main road? Which one?“Uh, the one to the left?”— Huh?“You know, on the left side…”— There’s no road on the left though?His clueless voice made me sigh. I couldn’t even get mad because I had no idea where I was either. I barely remembered how I even got here. Should’ve paid more attention on the way. While I was figuring out what to do, Jung Woojin spoke again.— Just turn on your GPS. I’ll find you.I hesitated to say yes. When I stayed silent, it was like he could read my mind.— As soon as I find you, you can turn it off. And if you don’t turn it on again, I won’t know where you are.“Who said anything?”— I just thought you seemed worried.When I grumbled, I heard Jung Woojin laugh. Realizing I was being overly cautious, I turned on the GPS, trying to act nonchalant.Exactly 15 minutes later, a familiar car pulled up in front of me. When I saw him about to get out, I raised my hand, and he stopped, simply reaching over to open the front passenger door for me.“Why did you come all the way here?”With a visibly brightened expression, Jung Woojin asked, but I just quietly closed the door. After carefully fastening my seatbelt, he gently pulled away.“Did you come all this way looking for a part-time job?”“Just… yeah.”“Did you find one?”I hadn’t realized earlier, but now, sitting in the car with him, I was worried. Should I tell him I got a job at a gay bar? Damn, what should I do? If I tell him, he’ll definitely tell me not to work there. Worse, he might even show up at the bar and make a scene.“Sunbae?”“What do you want to eat?”“Whatever you want, Sunbae. Did you find a job?”We stopped at a red light. As he looked at the road ahead, he turned his head to glance at me. Resting my elbow on the window, I propped my chin on my hand and turned to stare out at the passing scenery. I could feel him watching me curiously, sensing something was off.“Did you get the part-time job?”“Hey.”“Yes?”“Why are you so interested in me? Just mind your own business.”As I suddenly snapped, Jung Woojin fell silent and stared at me. I looked at him like usual, but the sudden change in my tone made him tense up. My shoulders twitched instinctively when I noticed how his eyes narrowed at the sight of my crumbling expression. Even though the light had turned green, Jung Woojin didn’t move the car, just kept looking at me and asked again.“You got a job, right?”The cars behind us started honking loudly.“What are you doing? Go.”“Are you working at a bar again? As a server?”“Just drive already, they keep honking behind us.”“What kind of job did you get?”“For God’s sake! The cars behind—!”Finally, one of the cars behind us swerved into the other lane and passed us, rolling down their window to hurl a stream of curses as they went by. Jung Woojin didn’t even blink. I had a feeling if I didn’t answer, he’d sit there like a statue.“I’m working at a bar, okay? A bar!”“What kind of bar? Where is it? Was there a bar near where you were earlier? What do you do at the bar? Make cocktails? Do you chat with customers too?”“Just drive! I’ll tell you everything while we eat!”At my near-screaming outburst, Jung Woojin finally started driving again. His expression was stiff, a mix of anxiety, frustration, and sadness swirling together in a mess. I turned fully away, staring out the window, swearing under my breath. Damn, if I tell him it’s a gay bar, is he going to lock me up again? While I was lost in those thoughts, Jung Woojin, who had been quiet for a while, spoke up.“Sunbae.”“We’ll talk while we eat.”“No, what do you want to eat?”“Whatever’s fine. Oh, there’s a Korean set meal place over there. Let’s go there.”Without a word, Jung Woojin turned the car towards the restaurant. My mind was a mess. Should I lie? Or should I just be honest and tell him I’m working at a gay bar for 250 a month?We got out of the car and went inside, ordering two set meals. Until the food came, Jung Woojin didn’t say much, only asking things like, “Are you uncomfortable?”, “Are you hot?”, “Are you cold?” But as soon as all the food was served and the door closed, he asked,“Where’s the bar you work at?”His voice was casual, as if he were asking where I worked out of simple curiosity. There didn’t seem to be any hidden intent, just a genuine question. For a moment, something felt off, but when I saw his face, it all made sense. Of course. That expression made it clear he was barely holding himself back from grabbing me by the collar and demanding to know where I worked. When I didn’t answer, Jung Woojin asked again.“Was it near where you were earlier?”I absentmindedly poked at my food with my chopsticks, as if counting each grain of rice, then realized something. I had already eaten. A lot. I had two full bowls of rice at a seolleongtang restaurant earlier. How could I forget that? I glanced up and saw that Jung Woojin was still watching me, waiting for an answer. I said briefly,“Let’s just eat first.”“Why won’t you tell me?”“Because you might come looking for me.”“I won’t go.”“Yeah, right.”My sarcastic tone made Jung Woojin frown. I waved my hand toward him, urging him to eat.“Hurry up and eat.”“…”“You’re not eating?”When I spoke sharply, Jung Woojin reluctantly picked up his utensils. Watching him, I asked harshly,“You didn’t lie about skipping your meal just to meet me, did you?”“No.”“Then why are you eating so sluggishly?”He looked at me like I should’ve already known the reason. I pretended not to notice and said,“Come on, eat. There’s soybean paste stew and fish. Lots of stuff to eat.”“Why aren’t you eating, Sunbae? You said you were hungry.”When I didn’t respond, Jung Woojin tilted his head in confusion. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him I’d already eaten earlier. He might ask why I said I hadn’t eaten, and I didn’t have a good answer for that. I didn’t even know why myself, but I just didn’t want to explain.“Sunbae?”“Just eat. We’ll talk after.”“Are we going somewhere else after this?”Seeing his pleading face, I quickly nodded.“Yeah, so hurry up and finish eating.”At my words, a little color returned to his face. Though he still looked miserable, he seemed slightly better than before.I quietly watched as he ate. Before, I was always too busy eating myself to notice, but now that I was just watching, I realized how differently he ate compared to others. Maybe it was because he was a model, or maybe he was just naturally like this, but he seemed unreal. Like something out of a movie or a drama, like a young king eating from a royal banquet. His movements were precise, not too fast or slow, his chopsticks and spoon perfectly placed after each bite. As I absentmindedly observed this, our eyes met.“Where do you work?”Of course, he took advantage of that moment to ask again. I almost answered reflexively but caught myself just in time.“I told you, I work at a bar.”“What kind of bar?”“A bar is a bar. What else would it be?”“…”“What?”His anxious gaze lingered on me before he lowered his head and resumed eating. Watching him carefully pick out the fish bones, I couldn’t help but think it was ridiculous. How could anyone be that good at separating the bones from the flesh so perfectly? I always got frustrated, ended up grabbing it with my hands, or just ate the bones too and choked on them.“How many people work there?”“I don’t know.”“What are your hours?”“I don’t know, man. I haven’t even started my first shift yet.”“What’s the boss’s name?”“What?”The other questions were fine, but asking for the boss’s name was a bit odd. I gave Jung Woojin a puzzled look and asked,“And what would you do with the boss’s name? If I tell you, will you know him or something?”“What’s the name of the bar?”“I’m not telling you.”“Why not? Do you think I’ll show up and cause a scene?”For the first time since we met today, Jung Woojin sounded like a normal person. I gave him a look that said, What’s gotten into you?“Yeah, that sounds exactly like something you’d do.”“…”“If you don’t cause a scene, you’ll probably drag in some underage kid to drink with you. Maybe sit a cop next to you and get the bar fined and shut down.”“…”I started laughing, but my voice trailed off as I saw the look on his face. I straightened up, looking serious, and asked,“You bastard, you were actually planning that, weren’t you?”“…”“Wow, you really are a piece of work.”I was dumbfounded. I cursed under my breath, slamming my chopsticks down on the table. Jung Woojin seemed to have lost his appetite too and set his spoon down.“Just tell me where it is.”“Absolutely not.”“…”Jung Woojin went quiet again, looking like he was about to cry. But it wasn’t going to work on me. I scoffed and looked away.“So, bumping into you by accident would be fine then, right?”“What?”“I could just happen to stop by a bar and run into you while you’re working. That could happen, right?”“What?”Jung Woojin spoke confidently, his brazen attitude leaving me speechless. I shook my head and replied firmly,“That’s not happening. Don’t go to the bar.”“Why? It’s my choice whether I go or not.”“I don’t care. Just don’t go until I quit.”“I stop by bars for a drink after work all the time.”I couldn’t help but laugh at that.“Drinks, my ass. You’re the guy who rushes straight home after work.”There was a time when he lost his memory, and I actually wondered if he had no friends or if he was being bullied at work. Thinking back on it, I tilted my head. Rushing home? Something about that sounded off. Shouldn’t it be rushing in rather than rushing home? While I was caught up in my confusion, Jung Woojin suddenly leaned in closer without warning.