Moonlit Waters

“Bait it,” I say, my fingers tense on the keyboard.

Alex hums in reply. “You got Q?”

“Yessir.” I press the button and point the tornado sideways. My character, Janna – basically a Sylph – is standing in a bush, hidden from enemy vision. They have no way of knowing I’m there.
As far as they know, Alex is the only one on the lane, a huge wave pushing slowly in his direction. They’ll try to dive him, to kill him under his own turret. The enemy jungler is bound to be close.

So far, Alex and I absolutely demolished our lane opponents. Alex has five kills and zero deaths at minute eight. There’s a huge bounty on his head.

The last of our own minions die and the enemy support teleports forward, throwing a hook right at Alex. But I anticipated exactly this. The moment I see the beginning animation, I release the tornado, knocking him up into the air. Alex dodges the hook forward and begins attacking the support.

“Care for Kha’Zix,” I warn him.

“Yup.”

The enemy AD carry dashes in our direction as well, but I use my exhaust spell on her, rendering her pretty much useless.

“These poor idiots,” Alex laughs, finishing off the support and setting his sights on the ADC.

At that moment, there’s a flicker of purple right behind Alex’s character and a bug-like creature with long talons appears.

Instantly, I blink towards Alex and press the R key, pushing the assassin backwards and into our turret, even as his first ability divides Alex’s HP.

“Kill the beetle!” I shout as my ultimate ability heals Alex.

I place another tornado and release it immediately, interrupting the assassin’s jump forward, aimed to bring him back into Alex’s face.

A triumphant shout escapes my lips. Alex only has to deliver the finishing blow, the turret’s laser beam did the rest for us.

He laughs. “Your Janna is fucking cracked!”

“Just you wait till I actually know what I’m doing.”

It’s my first time playing the champion. She’s one of the more difficult champions on the support roster, an enchanter at that. I usually only play tanks. But today I was in the mood for some enchanting support action.

I know I’m still far from actually figuring out how the champion works. So far I’ve mostly just gotten lucky. Our opponents do a shit job of dodging my tornados and I’ve got Alex by my side, an absolute unit of an ADC.

The enemy team surrenders the game not much later, at minute fifteen. By then, Alex has twelve kills and still hasn’t died.

It’s the first game we’ve played today. I spent the morning and a good bit of noon with Pearl in the kitchen, mixing all sorts of crazy – non-alcoholic – cocktails. Twenty minutes ago, Alex texted me, asking whether I wanted to play some League of Legends, and I accepted the invitation gladly. It’s been some time since we played properly.

I might no longer be Timothy, but I still enjoy gaming.

As the main client loads, I turn my head to look out of the window, towards the lake.

The weather is perfect. Hot with a light breeze and occasional clouds. It might rain again tomorrow, we’re not under threat of another draught. But today, the weather is great. I should probably go out to the lake later, when it’s no longer so crowded.

There’s the muffled sound of somebody talking to Alex. He gives a short reply, then he’s back.

“Selena?”

“Alex?”

“Do you wanna come over for dinner today? Mum would love to have you over again.”

So that was his Mum talking to him, huh?

“Does she know about my… change?” I still haven’t quite gotten comfortable with the prospect of everybody seeing the person I really am and judging me for it.

“Yes,” he replies evenly.

My stomach turns. “You told her?”

“Of course I did. She’s my mother, Lena.” He sounds a little worried now.

“And what did she say?”

“She said that she wants you over. She was so glad for you when I told her you’re happy now.” He laughs a little. “What did you expect?”

I shrug, then realise that he can’t see the movement. “Dunno. But don’t go around telling everyone, okay?”

“Of course not. It’s your story to tell. I only told Mum and Dad and that only yesterday evening. They know we’re together and they can keep a secret, don’t worry.”

I know they can. I love Alex’s parents, I always have. Alex and I grew up as brothers, almost, so they were something of a second set of parents to me. And maybe they still are?

“By the way,” Alex says now. “Afterwards we could go to the party at the old barn.”

The old barn is the same place the last party took place. The party where I kissed Isa and we decided to be a couple.

It’s difficult to believe it’s only been a week since then. So much has happened.

“I’d rather not. I don’t think telling forty drunk youths all at once is a good idea.”

I know for a fact that not everybody’s going to be as supportive as my parents and Alex. Simply going by the way some of the boys from my year treat girls is enough to figure out that they won’t take kindly to a trans girl showing up out of the blue. But I can’t live a life of secrecy, they’ll find out sooner or later. And lying will only make it worse once they finally do find out, right?

“Okay,” he says simply. “It’s your call.” Momentary silence follows. “On that note, what are you going to do when school starts?”

That’s a whole new problem I decidedly avoided thinking about for the last two days. I don’t have an ID, I technically don’t exist. I’m not enrolled in school.

“I’ll have to talk to the principal. I’ll have to get a new ID as well. And then…”

“I mean, what will you tell the other students,” he interrupts me.

I shrug again. “I guess I’ll have to be honest, right? They’ll figure it out anyway.”

“And how do you feel about that?”

“Scared? But it’s the right thing to do and I kinda hope that I can just go on being invisible, sorta.” I spent most of my life being invisible. I used to be very good at it. But I don’t know if I am anymore. I changed.

“Please don’t do that,” he says and I perk up.

“Why?”

“Because you’re great! And I’m sure once people figure that out, they’ll be nice to you. You might even make some friends, right? And well, if they’re not, I’ll be there, okay? There’s few people in our year I can’t beat in a fair one on one.”

“I’m sure there won’t be the need for that.” I’d rather leave school than have him risk his health in a brawl. “But thanks.”

-

Alex opens the door for me only seconds after I pressed the doorbell. I come inside and untie the laces of the shoes Isa left me.

Once again, I’m wearing shorts, but today I decided on a normal T-shirt instead of a crop top. I want to make a good first impression after all. I considered wearing normal shorts that reach at least down to the middle of my thighs, but I like the feeling of the wind against my pare legs too much. How could I ever go without wearing these?

When I get back to my feet Alex is there, waiting for me and I put my arms around his neck, giving him a casual kiss on the lips. It’s nothing big, just a small, intimate show of love. Already, I’ve let go again and turned to walk into the living area.

Both of Alex’s Mum is in the kitchen, his father is standing outside on the porch, firing up the grill. When she sees me standing next to the couch, his mother hurries to wipe her hands on a cloth and come over.

“Look at you!” she coos and I’m not quite sure, but I think there’s pride in her eyes.

“You’re gorgeous!”

She stops before me and by the way she looks at me, I get the impression that she’s fighting the urge to touch my hair. She doesn’t, though, and instead puts her left to my cheek.

“You know, I never imagined the two of you turning out to be a couple, but now that it’s happened, I don’t think anything could make me happier,” she says and her eyes glitter a little more than normal. She blinks and smiles at me like she doesn’t want to ever look away. Alex has his smile from his mother. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

“Thanks,” I mumble. I feel my cheeks grow hot but I do nothing to hide the blush.

“Mum!” Alex complains from behind her. “You’re making her blush!” He’s wearing a grin on his lips, I know he’s just trolling.

His Mum does too. “Shush, you,” she says, turning her head just slightly. “We’re having a girl-talk!”
Turning back to me, she says with a grin, “You’ll have to get used to this. There’s some things boys just won’t understand.” Then she turns serious. “If you ever need anything. Anything, come to me. I know this won’t be just easy happiness and bliss. There will always be a safe place for you here, okay?”

I nod, finally feeling a little uncomfortable. I know she’s right, but talking about it with somebody other than Alex only makes the possible danger I’m in feel all the more real.

Finally, Alex’s Mum lets go of me. “I’d offer to give you the whole sex-talk thing, but the way I know your mother, she’ll kill me if I rob her of that chance.”

I giggle. She really would.

There’s the sound of a door opening to my left and I catch a whiff of smoke.

“The grill’s hot, got everything ready?”

It’s Alex’s father, standing just past the door that leads out to the backyard. When our eyes make contact, he gives me his trademark dad-grin and a little wave.

“Hey, kiddo.”

He always used to call me that, when I came over. I’m not sure he’ll ever stop, but I’m also not sure whether I ever want him to stop.

“Hi,” I say back with a smile. Alex’s parents are polar opposites that way. His mother warm-hearted and fussy, his father laid back and cool.

“Selena? Alex? Mind giving me a hand?” Alex’s Mum calls from the kitchen and we make our way over.

The kitchen counter is overflowing with platters and bowls. Five different salads, cut vegetables and finger food, all sorts of meat I can’t even name properly.

The three of us have to walk several times before having carried everything outside where Alex’s Dad carefully arranges the different foods on the wooden table.

Soon enough, we sit in the sturdy garden chairs with thick and comfortable cushions in our backs and a glass of cooled, home-made lemonade in our hands.

Alex’s Dad puts first slices of meat onto the grill and I take a sip of the lemonade.

Like it always does, the taste transports me back to long passed times, when we used to meet here with both our families to celebrate birthdays or just to eat well, sit and talk until the sun went down.

Something touches my hand and I turn with a little start, but smile when I find Alex’s hand there on my armrest. Not looking up to see his expression, I put my hand in his and interlink our fingers like some lovey-dovey couple in the sort of romantic movie I used to roll my eyes over when I was younger. It doesn’t feel all that eye-roll-worthy anymore, to be honest. I’m sure my younger self would understand.