Moonlit Waters

The doorbell rings early in the morning. So early that I'm still asleep, despite having gone to bed early the day before.

I know Mum will open the door and I don't really have to get up, but as I turn around and pull the thin blanket up to my chin, I get curious.

Who would ring at our door at this time? It must be nine in the morning. It might be Alex. He might've come over to take me out on a picnic to the waterfall.

The thought makes my heart beat faster with joy and I put back the covers. I'm no longer tired.

But it isn't Alex who knocks at my door minutes later. It's Mum and her face isn't kind, she doesn't even wish me a good morning.

"There's a woman downstairs," she says with worry in her eyes. "She says she's with the government and would like to talk to you."

The government? What? But... why? What would they want with me of all people?

I didn't do anything wrong, there's nothing special about-

Oh. Right. But still, I'm not dangerous, am I?

I haven't showered yet. My hair is a mess. But I doubt it's a good idea to make the woman downstairs wait.

Unceremoniously, I put on a fresh T-shirt and normal skinny jeans. Mum watches me, that worried crease in her brow still there.

I try to appear confident and give her a small smile. They haven't sent special forces so it can't be that bad, right?

I head downstairs without brushing my teeth. I'm the first on the stairs, Mum's a little behind.

My heart is racing. I feel sick. I try to smile again, but it won't work this time. I'm scared. Genuinely scared.

The woman sitting at our kitchen table looks... professional. I'm sure, if she were standing, she'd be taller than me. Her dark hair is tied back in a tight bun without even the smallest of strays left behind. She's wearing a black suit without a tie and her features are sharp and delicate. She's young. There's no way she's older than thirty.

She gives me a friendly smile when I enter her field of view and gets up to meet me halfway.

"My name is Reyna Morris," she says evenly, extending her right hand. "Honoured to meet you."

My brain's still stuck at when she got up when I entered. Nobody ever does these things for me.
I shake her hand reflexively, but I doubt it's a very good handshake.

"Hi," I manage to press out.

There's a flash of sympathy in her eyes and she steps back.

"I would like to have a little chat with you, if that's okay with you?"

Her eyes are firmly trained on mine. I get the strong feeling that there's nothing I can hide under her gaze, so I break eye contact and nod.

"Yeah, sure." My voice still sounds a little weak, but the stupor is broken.

I nod again, trying to make myself believe my words, then pull back the chair that's usually Mum's and sit down with my back to the door. Reyna takes the seat opposite from me.

"Can I get you anything?" Mum asks from behind me.

I flinch at the unexpected sound of her voice, but Reyna flashes me a reassuring smile.

"Selena, what do you usually have for breakfast?" she asks then.

Her eyes are a warm shade of brown. I'd probably instinctively like her, if it weren't for her being here as a part of the government.

Such a strange question.

I shrug uncomfortably. "Cereals?"

"Have you had anything to eat today?"

She must know I've just gotten up. Why does she ask, then?

There's a hint of pleasant tenderness to her voice. She has a lovely accent that sounds like she turned the classical cockney into something elegant.

I shake my head, trying hard to decipher her expression. "No?" But there's nothing.

When she hears my reply, she turns her attention towards Mum and says, "Would it be too much trouble if you made her a bowl of cereal? And if you had something small, like an apple maybe? And a glass of water?"

I turn and see Mum nod and head over to the counter.

"I'm sorry to intrude like this," she adds. "I promise you're in no trouble, I'm just here to ask a few questions, okay?"

"But why?" I finally manage to press out. "Why does the government care about me?" My throat is tight.

There's a moment of hesitation from Reyna. A moment in which she seems to choose her words carefully.

"Did you watch the news, lately, Selena?" she asks then, leaning forward.

I shake my head. I had enough other things going on.

"Well, the short version of it all is that you're not the only one who's been changed by what appears to be the comet. Now, to be honest, we still haven't quite figured out what about what responsible for such drastic change in a very select part of the population. But as the government, it is our responsibility to take care of our people's well-being. I'm here to assess the situation, if you will."

Yes, I've heard that I'm not the only one to have been changed. Isa told me about it. But why would the government care about that? I'm still alive, aren't I? I'm in good health. My psyche's better than ever before.

Oh, right. They don't know that.

"I'm fine," I tell her. "I like my new body."

Funny how impossible saying those words had seemed only days ago. But it's the truth.

Reyna nods. "I'm glad to hear that. Just out of curiosity, have you always considered yourself trans?"

She says it in a way that makes it seem like the most normal question ever. Well, maybe it should be.

"I only figured it out recently," I say shyly. I don't want to tell her that actually I only figured out I was trans once the comet had already changed me several times. It might make her think there's something wrong with me.

Mum hands her a small plate with cut apple pieces on it. Reyna nods at her, takes the first piece and casually bites off it.

"Was that, by any chance, after you experienced first changes caused by the comet?"

I somewhat expected the question, but actually hearing it makes my stomach jump with fear. To hide it, I push my chin forward defiantly and sit up straighter before replying, "And if?"

Of course, her eyes immediately catch onto the change in my composure and she laughs a little. "Then nothing. Really, there's nothing I like hearing more right now, it makes everything so much easier for both you and me."

I feel my chest deflate and I can't help but feel stupid. "So you're not going to try to take my body away from me?"

"Of course not, Selena. Even if we wanted to, we're not allowed to do anything against your will, okay? Of course, if you should ever change your mind about your body, however unlikely that may seem, you're free to come and talk to me, okay?"

She takes another bite and chews while her eyes stay focused on me. When I don't say anything, she goes on.

"I'll be staying around a little longer. Help you with, well, transitioning into your new life, if you will. "

-

Reyna leaves maybe half an hour later. Before, she tells me about all the formalities that come with taking on a new identity. She'll help me get registered under a new name and takes a picture for my new ID. She's also going to brief the teachers at school on who I am and how to act around me. Mostly, they're not supposed to do anything differently. I'm going to be a normal student, after all.

Later that day, Mum drives me to an appointment with a Gynaecologist in the same town that also has the shopping mall. Reyna got me the appointment, saying I should get myself checked out, just in case.

I try very hard not to think of all the things that could happen there. But, like all the times I tried that before, I come to realise just how bad I am at this.

By the time we arrive at the gynaecologist's practice, I'm agitated, sweaty, playing with my fingers in my lap and throwing nervous glances around.

But none of the people we pass on our way into the building react to me in any special way. Some give me a court nod, but that's it.

Mum stops me before the door to the practice.

"Something wrong, Sweetie?" she asks in a worried tone.

For a moment, I want to tell her about my fears, but I end up only shaking my head.

"Never been to the gynaecologist before." It feels weird how that's actually the least of my worries.

She nods. "I was too, the first time. You get used to it, and anyway, Mrs Colton is really nice."

Right. I'll have to come here regularly. And Mum has been coming here regularly for years.

She leads me into the practice, we give the woman at the desk my insurance card, the old one, but she just nods.

"Right, Miss Selena Crow?"

She must've been informed about the situation upfront.

I nod and she points me to the waiting room. "Please take a seat there, Mrs Colton will be with you in a minute."

The examination isn't exactly pleasant, but it's not that bad either. The middle-aged woman is really nice, as Mum said, and she makes sure to explain every step to me upfront so I know what's going on. In the meantime, she also tells me about all the things I didn't even know were different from my old body. I did have sex-ed in school, but I'd never really paid attention. Why, after all, if I wasn't ever going to magically turn into a woman?

The irony.

Anyway, Mrs Colton tells me in the end that she could find literally nothing about my body that's out of order. Of course, the blood sample they extracted, hasn't been examined yet, but from what she can see about my body, apart from maybe the hairlessness from the chin down, I'm perfectly normal. I even have a working uterus, so, in theory, I'm able to carry a baby and I should also have periods. The thought strangely lightens my mood and by the time Mum accompanies me back to the car, I'm smiling again.

I'm sure that in the end, it's going to be alright.