Refusing My God’s Advances

The revelation of divine matchmaking schemes hit me like a truck. Here I was, barely wrapping my head around being half-god, and now there was a whole new celestial soap opera script with my name on it. Eldros and Gachica's chuckles only added to the surrealness of the situation.

"Believe it or not, Leon, the divine realms take relationships quite seriously," Eldros explained, trying to suppress another chuckle. "Your unique status, combined with your talents, makes you... highly desirable."

Gachica nodded in agreement, her gaze implying this was no laughing matter. "And it's not just about romance, dear. Alignments through marriage or partnerships can influence realms, wars, and peace treaties. You're now a key player in a game you've been away from for far too long."

I groaned, feeling the weight of the cosmos piling up on my shoulders. "So, what you're telling me is, apart from dodging divine fanatics and dealing with, you know, the problems of my world, I'll also have to fend off gods and goddesses playing 'The Bachelor: Celestial Edition' with me as the prize?"

"That's one way to put it," Eldros replied with a twinkle in his eye. "But remember, your choices will have far-reaching consequences. It's not all bad, though. You might actually enjoy some of the attention, and who knows, you might find alliances in the most unexpected places."

Gachica's smile was warm but carried a note of caution. "Just be careful, Leon. Not all that glitters in the divine realms is gold. Some might seek your favor for their own agendas, not caring about the repercussions."

I slumped forward, feeling more defeated than I had after that minotaur cut my leg off. Hell, that seemed like a good time compared to this nonsense! Maybe I was some valiant do-gooder in my last life, but look what it had got me! 

"I had to live as a boring human for 22 years, just to get sucked into everyone's problems again! Just let me get rid of Garland, and I will keep to myself! I am not looking to mess around with everyone else's problems, I just want to live, laugh, and love with the girls that I have!" I complained, even though I knew it was useless. Sometimes it just felt good to whine about things. 

As I vented, Eldros placed a comforting hand on my shoulder, his face a mixture of sympathy and amusement. "Leon, my son, your journey is indeed fraught with the absurd. But remember, the path of a hero, or in your case, a demi-god-polygyny-reluctant-celestial-bachelor, is never a straight line. It's more like a labyrinth designed by a god with an overly complex sense of humor."

Gachica leaned closer, her voice earnest. "We understand your frustration, but you were never one to back down from a challenge, even in your past life. This, all of this, is simply another chapter in your epic saga. And who knows? Maybe there's a way to blend your desire for a peaceful life with your newfound divine responsibilities."

I raised an eyebrow, skeptical. "So, what? Turn my life into some sort of divine sitcom where I juggle godly duties, fend off amorous deities, and somehow maintain a healthy relationship with my mortal-and-not-so-mortal girlfriends? Sounds like a script rejected for being too outlandish."

Eldros chuckled. "Why not? You've already proven yourself adept at managing the impossible. Plus, think of the entertainment value. The divine realms haven't seen anything quite like you in eons. You're a breath of fresh air in an otherwise stale pantheon."

"And let's not forget the potential for alliances," Gachica added, ever the diplomat. "Each relationship, be it friendly or more, is a bridge to a new realm, a new power, and new possibilities. Navigate these waters wisely, and you could end up reshaping the divine landscape in your image."

I slumped back on the bench, mulling over their words. "Fine, but if I'm doing this, I'm playing by my rules. No godly matchmaking unless it's to forge an alliance that benefits my worlds. And I'm definitely not signing up for 'The Bachelor: Celestial Edition.' I draw the line at wearing a tuxedo and handing out magical roses."

Eldros and Gachica exchanged a look, a mix of pride and resignation in their eyes. "Agreed," Eldros said. "But be prepared for the unexpected. The divine realms thrive on intrigue and drama."

"Just remember, Leon," Gachica said with a gentle smile, "no matter how bizarre or demanding the situation, you're not alone. You have allies, both divine and mortal. And you have us, your parents, who've waited eons to support you, in whatever form that takes."

"Thank you," I said, and actually meant it. After hearing how my life was becoming more complicated, their words softened the impact. "I really don't want any part of all of this, but I have to get my world under control..." I said, but then let my words trail off as a thought hit me. "Was it always my world?"

"Horus? Yes, but nothing but ruins are left from that time. When you vanished, so did all knowledge of magic and technology from Horus. They were pushed back to privative beings, but they have grown rather fast over the last ten thousand years since you've been gone," Gachica explained, and I sighed.

"I was really hoping that you would have said it wasn't, ugh. Now I am going to feel obligated and stuff to help people. Ugh, why do you people do this to me? Couldn't you have just lied to me or something," I groaned while scrubbing my face with my hands.

Eldros laughed, the sound echoing with a warmth that seemed to fill the space around us. "Leon, you were always one to shoulder responsibilities, even when they weighed heavily upon you. It's part of what makes you, well, you. And besides, could we truly lie to our own son?"

Gachica gave me a sympathetic look, her gaze softening. "We understand it's a lot to take in, and honestly, we wish things could be simpler for you. But remember, you're not just any ordinary being. You're someone who's lived among the stars and the dirt, with the power to influence both realms."