Solo For Two

Sasha nodded.[I can’t sleep. I’d like to get the sleeping pills I used to take.][Sleeping pills? The ones prescribed in Paris?][Yes.][Those weren’t just sleeping pills…]Julian frowned as he spoke.[They had a high content of narcotics. I had the prescription stopped because it’s not good to take them continuously.]Hearing the word “narcotics” made Sasha a bit afraid, but he truly felt he needed that medication. It seemed like it could stop his trembling and help him sleep well.Julian then exchanged a few words in their native language with Karel. After Julian relayed Sasha’s condition, Karel quickly approached, took Sasha’s hand, and tried to look into his face. And, believing it was his fault Sasha couldn’t sleep, Sasha’s soft cheek and repeatedly apologized.Watching this, Julian sighed and resignedly said,[I might have some left. I’ll bring it to you.]Julian went to his room and returned with a familiar-looking medication for Sasha. The transparent liquid was in a glass vial.[You know the dosage, right? Take a little and get some rest. You look terrible.]After Julian left, Karel took the vial from Sasha’s hand. As usual, he measured a small amount into a teacup and gave it to Sasha. The tasteless liquid went down his throat, and Karel wiped the remaining drop from Sasha’s lips with his thumb.Trying to shake off the lingering sensation of Sasha’s soft lips on his fingers, Karel gently laid Sasha back in bed. He pulled the blanket up to Sasha’s neck, and Sasha curled up like a fetus.When Sasha was fully under the influence of the medication and deeply asleep, Karel sighed heavily and stared at the ceiling. The thought that he had rested peacefully with Sasha the previous night was a complete illusion. Hearing that Sasha had actually had a restless night made Karel feel guilty.Karel wanted Sasha to be comfortable by his side. But…The realization that he couldn’t give Sasha what he wanted, and that his methods only caused Sasha pain, shook Karel deeply.In the room, only the peaceful sound of Sasha’s breathing, finally calm under the influence of the narcotics, filled the space.＊ ＊ ＊“The weather is nice and sunny. How about having a tea time together while looking at the coastline?”During lunch, Rambouillet suggested a tea time for everyone at the villa.Julian smiled unwaveringly and praised it as a good idea, but Karel did not respond. It was obvious who this suggestion was aimed at, apart from the three already having lunch together.Julian, pretending not to be aware, chatted about different types of desserts that go well with tea. Rambouillet lightly responded to his comments while observing Karel closely.Rambouillet decided to stop attributing meaning to Karel’s every word or slight smile. The man before her was deep and thoughtful, unlike most young aristocrats. He seemed to either manipulate women’s hearts several steps ahead or remain completely indifferent. Despite his impeccable demeanor, his disinterest in gaining favor was always troubling.However, his seemingly impenetrable demeanor completely crumbled in front of one person: Sasha Sedrin.Rambouillet noticed the suspicious behavior when Karel hurriedly followed the trembling Sasha out after their encounter. Despite Sasha’s shocking and pitiful state as he cried out like a madman, Karel embraced and comforted him with a helpless look. When Sasha fainted, Karel looked as if his heart had been torn out.She had once wondered what this man would look like if he loved someone passionately.And in an unexpected moment, Rambouillet saw a clumsy boyish side of Karel she never thought she would witness—an aspect of late-blooming first love.‘Are you two friends?’‘…Yes.’Karel did not confess honestly. Neither about how they met nor about his feelings for Sasha.So, she wanted to confirm it directly—whether that affection was mutual.And if his affection was pouring out with nowhere to go, she wanted to believe there was still hope for her.Servants prepared for tea time outdoors, setting up a canopy instead of staying indoors. When Rambouillet was led to her seat, Karel, Julian, and even Sasha were already there.“Have you arrived? The weather is nice today, and the horizon of the sea is clearly visible.”Julian’s words caused Sasha to finally lift his deeply bowed head. Rambouillet was the first to speak to him, who was looking down dejectedly.[Sasha, I heard you’re not feeling well.][I just had a good nap, so I’m fine now. Thank you for your concern.]Sasha answered with a slight startle at the greeting directed specifically at him among the three. Rambouillet observed Karel intently, noticing that he couldn’t take his eyes off Sasha’s small movement. She also realized that the distance between them was close enough that they could easily hold hands or touch each other’s backs. It seemed that Karel’s feelings had already deepened, as she had suspected.[How did they meet?]Sasha had lived his entire life in his homeland, and it was Karel and Julian’s first visit to Russia at that time, so they wouldn’t have had any prior connection. This meant that Karel had fallen for Sasha in a very short time. In any case, Rambouillet thought it wasn’t surprising for people—including Karel—to fall for Sasha easily. She herself had been captivated by him on stage. His beautiful face and slender, elegant body easily won people’s favor.Such attention might have helped his success as a dancer, but his noticeable appearance often led to his skills being undervalued. There were quite a few people in the ballet company who resented his rapid promotions. It was unclear where the rumors started. The first was that he offered his body to higher-ups or the director, and the subsequent promotion announcement turned the rumor into an established fact. There were also stories that he, who sent all his wages to his mother in the countryside, would rely on classmates for expensive practice clothes or shoes whenever he was short on money. Jokes that a pair of shoes could buy a taste of him were rampant in the ballet company.Upon hearing these unsettling rumors, Rambouillet erased any affection she had briefly felt for him. Being born a noble, she couldn’t comprehend that vulgar world. Every time she visited backstage with her husband for encouragement, Rambouillet would notice Sasha and recall those rumors. And her husband would particularly gaze at Sasha standing there with his flushed cheeks still warm from the stage’s heat.Though she didn’t marry for love, she didn’t want to become a mere ornament in her household. However, her husband’s notorious homosexuality, which had been intense even before their marriage, grew worse, and he eventually began bringing his lovers into their home right before her eyes. If it had been secret affairs she was unaware of, she might have dismissed it as a distasteful hobby. But her husband tried to install Sasha in their mansion under the guise of patronage, which drove Rambouillet to near nervous breakdown, unable to sleep for a while.The person she once loathed stood before her now. But what good would it do to hate him? Rambouillet knew very well that the problem lay in her loveless marriage with her husband. When she occasionally encountered Sasha in the corridor, he would look completely deflated with guilt, acting like dust that wanted to disappear before her. Eventually, he even ran away from the mansion.There was a bit of pity for the life he had been led into, manipulated by her husband. But she couldn’t bring herself to like the man who starkly reminded her of her miserable life.[Sasha, you should return to the stage.][I currently have no place where I can perform.]Rambouillet saw a man who had fallen rapidly. Once on the verge of becoming the youngest principal dancer in the Imperial Ballet, he now sat forlornly like a bird with clipped wings, far from the stage he desperately longed for.[You could succeed in Paris.]At her probing words, Sasha slowly lifted his head. His usually gentle hazel eyes appeared sharp, with only small irises left under the intense sunlight.[Paris, you say?]It seemed his lingering passion hadn’t completely died.[Madam, he has actually visited the opera house several times already. Isn’t that right, Sasha? But they didn’t even give him a chance to audition.][You need a recommendation letter to get an audition.]Rambouillet sipped her tea casually, but she could see from her lowered gaze that Sasha was intently focused. At the same time, Karel sensed something and placed a hand over Sasha’s knee in a comforting manner. But Sasha was staring intently at Rambouillet.[Is there a condition for writing a recommendation letter?]Julian asked, and Rambouillet replied.[Opera house patrons can provide them.][Sasha, it seems I need to become a patron of the opera house for your sake.]Julian made a joking remark and translated the recent topic to Karel. A mechanical smile appeared on Karel’s face, but Rambouillet noticed that he was not at all in the mood to smile. Karel could not be pleased with the current situation, where conversations were being conducted in Russian, deliberately excluding him. And as expected, Sasha was nervously clasping his hands, as if he still had lingering feelings.Rambouillet was convinced.[Karel, unfortunately, it seems you are in unrequited love.]If that were the case, there was still an opportunity for her. Rambouillet quietly drank the rest of her tea.＊ ＊ ＊Meeting alone was easy. As they left, Rambouillet signaled to Sasha, which he understood. Sasha separated from Karel more easily than expected and followed Rambouillet.[Madam.]The place they went to was a storage room in the villa where small supplies were kept, a perfectly secluded space. After closing the door, Sasha’s fingertips were trembling slightly. Rambouillet knew well that he had a fear of the nobility, especially after her husband had killed his mother and burned down his hometown house. His trembling fingertips were even torn in places. It seemed he had bitten his nails and hurt himself out of extreme anxiety after meeting her again.Rambouillet decided to use that fear.[You must be wondering why I am here.][Yes…. May I ask?][Nikolai knows that you are in the South of France. I came here after hearing that rumor to confirm it.]Sasha’s bloodshot eyes widened in shock. He tried to cover his mouth to stifle a leaking groan, but it was futile.[How, how does the Grand Duke know? How does he know I am here?][…….][Madam, are you going to take me to the Grand Duke?][No. Think logically. Why would I take you, whom Nikolai tried to make his lover?][Then….]Sasha looked confused by Rambouillet’s words.[I came secretly, without bringing anyone along. My husband thinks I am at my family’s house.][Then… then Madam, is it true that the Grand Duke sent people after me?][I don’t know about that. Why do you think so?][Because… Karel said he deliberately looked for me. I was in a hard-to-find place in Paris… but he found me. He even had my photograph…. Couldn’t it have been provided by the Grand Duke?]Sasha was seriously misunderstanding something. His slightly parted lips were trembling. Fear was likely narrowing his vision, and Rambouillet did not deny it.[It could be.][Why did Karel send people to find me in Paris? But I don’t understand. If that’s the case, why didn’t he take me straight to Petersburg, or maybe he’s just providing information….]Poor Sasha.Rambouillet sensed that Sasha desperately wanted to believe in Karel. Whether it was the same kind of affection that Karel had was uncertain.But it was better if Karel’s affection went towards someone who could truly reciprocate.[If you want, run away tomorrow night.][What?]Sasha asked, surprised.[I’ll cover for you. Hide for a few years until Nikolai completely forgets you, and I’ll help you get back to work as a dancer in Paris. The recommendation letter I write will be the most reliable thing in Paris.]Sasha’s eyes wavered at the sudden stroke of luck.Rambouillet took off one of her rings. The ring, adorned with a sizable diamond, was not overly ornate, so it would fetch a good price if sold. When she handed it to Sasha, his eyes wavered in confusion.[Take it. You don’t need to return it. It won’t be hard for you to contact me. My residence is officially known. But you understand that when you reach out to me, you must hide your identity, right? Even from Karel and Julian.][Why are you doing this for me…?]Sasha bowed his head. Rambouillet knew that the more grateful he felt, the more advantageous it would be for her. Furthermore, he still harbored guilt. The guilt of destroying a family and erasing the existence of a beloved wife. Rambouillet didn’t offer any clumsy consolation about how that family was already broken and she had never been loved. However, she did think that Sasha wasn’t as evil as the rumors suggested. A person capable of feeling guilt couldn’t have behaved as the rumors claimed.[Think about it. No one knows Nikolai better than I do. If he looks for you or forgets you… in any case, I would be the first to know if you’re in danger.][…….][I will help you as much as I can. To keep you away from Nikolai.]Rambouillet faintly realized the truth of her final words.‘I want to keep you away from Karel.’But substituting Nikolai made the persuasion smoother. Rambouillet reflected on the strange fate that connected her and Sasha.Sasha, staring at the ring in his hand, quietly nodded.[I understand.]She left the storage room first, walking down the long corridor and glancing back several times. However, Sasha stayed inside, not emerging for a while.＊ ＊ ＊“Madam Rambouillet is leaving tomorrow.”At Karel’s words, Sasha looked up from his book and stared at Karel intently. Under the dim lighting, Sasha lay at an angle, keeping his gaze fixed on Karel for a while. Thinking Sasha didn’t understand, Karel slowly repeated himself.“Madam Rambouillet, she is leaving tomorrow.”“I know.”Sasha answered, still propping his chin and staring at Karel. Embarrassed by Sasha’s gaze, Karel cleared his throat and looked away.“I’m sorry I haven’t been able to give you much attention because of the guests. Once she leaves, you’ll be more comfortable.”“…….”“Oh, Julian suggested we go to Marrakech once business is settled. We’ll be crossing the Mediterranean. You haven’t been on a ship before, have you?”While Karel babbled on, Sasha stood up. Standing up, his shadow cast long over Karel, blocking the light.Sasha walked up to Karel, so close that Karel felt a mix of tension, curiosity, and slight excitement. Sasha knelt in front of Karel, his long eyelashes reflecting the light and shining white.“Karel.”“Yes, Sasha.”Karel tried to guess Sasha’s intentions. Sasha closed his eyes slightly and kissed Karel’s thick knuckles, a clear attempt at seduction. Karel wondered if he was hallucinating from confusion.“What’s wrong? It’s late, you should sleep now. If you don’t sleep….”Karel, struggling, pulled his hand away and caressed Sasha’s cheek. He couldn’t help but feel pleased. But…Sasha burrowed between Karel’s knees, hugging his waist. Karel’s thigh tensed where Sasha rested his cheek. Pretending to ignore Sasha’s obvious intentions, Karel stood him up.“Why…?”When Sasha asked why he was being rejected, Karel silently led him to the bed. Sasha, who had been following obediently, sat up again when Karel tried to give him a sleeping pill.“I won’t take it.”“Then will you just sleep?”Karel set the cup of medicine aside and laid Sasha down. But Sasha’s clear eyes showed no sign of sleep. Karel smiled and kissed Sasha’s round forehead.Earlier, Karel had apologized to Sasha for using force and promised not to do it again. He also opened the previously locked door and the latch-broken window. Julian’s advice that locking him up would only backfire had been partly accepted.iven Sasha’s overt intentions, it’s impossible for Karel not to feel tempted. However, Karel was uneasy with Sasha approaching him physically as if to express gratitude. Why wouldn’t he want Sasha? But he disliked the idea of a relationship where they exchanged what they wanted as if paying a price.Every time Sasha’s behavior reminded Karel of their first encounter, the memory faintly resurfaced. Back then, Sasha had tried to undress first, as if repaying Karel for dinner, a warm bath, and a bed. Moreover, the second time he found Sasha was in a brothel. Karel still kept the location of their reunion a secret from Julian, not wanting to give ammunition to someone who already doubted Sasha’s character.Whenever Sasha appeared accustomed to using his body, Karel struggled to deny it.‘What I want isn’t just your body…’“Karel.”Sasha’s call made Karel instinctively look down at him with deep affection. Just hearing his name and knowing Sasha sought him out made him happy. If he could be a bit more selfish, he hoped Sasha would continue to rely on him instead of others.“Stay with me, sleep here.”Sasha said in his clumsy pronunciation, offering the spot next to him. Karel gladly unbuttoned his shirt and lay down beside him. Sasha turned to face Karel and placed his hand on Karel’s firm chest. Though a small gesture, it felt endearing.Karel tilted his head to the side and looked at Sasha, who had lowered his eyes. Sasha must have felt Karel’s heart pounding madly beneath his thick skin, as if he were holding it in his hands.Reluctantly, Karel admitted that Julian’s advice was correct. While Karel didn’t agree with Julian’s idea that Sasha should be sent away, he understood the importance of demonstrating trust through actions. When Karel didn’t immediately resort to force, Sasha would relax. Opening the locked doors made Sasha stay in the room quietly.What Sasha feared was being forced into actions against his will. Instead of repeatedly assuring him verbally that he wouldn’t be sent to Petersburg, simply opening the door built more trust. Consequently, Sasha calmed down to his old self within a day and a half.Holding Sasha’s hand on his chest, Karel spoke to him softly.“It’s okay if you don’t trust me completely yet. But you should know, I’m entirely on your side.”“…….”“I will give you anything you want.”Except telling him to leave.Karel swallowed those final words, sensing an inexplicable anxiety. He feared that if he uttered them, Sasha would remember only those words.＊ ＊ ＊Sasha whispered love into his ear with his awkward pronunciation. Stroking his soft and fine hair made Sasha laugh happily. Sasha, completely leaning on Karel and breathing evenly, had eyes full of affection for Karel. At that moment, Karel realized.It’s a dream.During that time, Sasha had shed his fear and wariness toward Karel, embracing him without any calculation.With a bittersweet heart, Karel relished Sasha’s affection in the dream.‘I like you too.’Then Sasha pressed his lips against Karel’s. As soon as their dry, smooth lips touched, Karel felt a tender sensation. He thought his imagination was poor, as even his dreams were simple and modest.When he licked Sasha’s lower lip, Sasha responded by parting his lips and engaging actively with his tongue. Breathing in Sasha’s sweet breath, Karel sucked on his wet tongue. Their saliva tasted like nectar.Karel was pulled from the dream by the vivid sensation.“Hah… Hah…”“Sasha?”Sasha was looking down at him, straddling his chest. The surreal position made Karel call his name in a hoarse voice. Sasha responded by pressing their lips together again.“Sasha, why all of a sudden…?”When Karel gently pushed him away, Sasha didn’t give up, sliding his hand under Karel’s shirt and caressing his neck. As Sasha’s actions seemed to show genuine desire, Karel’s breath became rough.‘Was it not just a transaction?’Sasha might truly want him. If so, rejecting him would be rude, considering how hard it must have been for Sasha to express his feelings. If he had struggled so much to show his heart and was then rejected, how heartbroken must he have been?