Solo For Two

Karel was always adept at receiving and cutting off favors. Now his instinct was screaming that it was time to cut off. But he wanted to confirm as much as the boy in the photo was him, and if he had been here.

“It seems you’ve been escorted. May I escort you next time?”

“Are you talking about the ball? But I always go with my husband…”

“No, if you would kindly invite me to a ballet performance, I would be grateful.”

As Karel met Rambouillet with a calm gaze and made the request, Rambouillet blushed and nodded.

Until Rambouillet disappeared, Karel stood in the corridor as a courtesy, mechanically bowing as she seemed to regretfully look back at him. And when she was no longer visible, he hastily opened the door and entered the room.

Karel took out the photo from his pocket. And blinking, he adjusted his sight several times.

The face in the photo was unfamiliar yet familiar.

Examining the features of the boy, Karel nudged himself to think rationally. This boy and Sasha certainly looked alike, but it could be merely because they shared the same racial features. The commonality was only the moist deep eyes and the neatly combed black hair.

But if this boy was really Sasha, if Sasha had been here…

The tense smile revealed in the photo and the blurry smile he had shown himself seemed alike.

Julian had simply said to forget it. Finding someone who had passed through this vast continent was impossible.

“But I found him.”

If not fate, what other word could describe this? Karel closed his eyes and kissed the boy in the photo.

***

A snowstorm raged on the way to the theater.

Sitting inside the carriage, the two men and women, Lady Rambouillet and Karel Clements, stared out of the window in silence for a long time. For different reasons.

Rambouillet, trembling at being alone in a confined space with a man she liked, waited for Karel to say something, anything. Dressed as a gentleman, he seemed like a stranger, making her heart beat faster.

However, Karel seemed to be deeply engrossed in his own thoughts, whether he knew Rambouillet’s feelings or not. Rambouillet found it especially difficult to engage in conversation when Karel remained silent. He wasn’t particularly kind, but he wasn’t a cold-hearted man either, which made it even more perplexing.

Whether he was completely unaware of his occasional aloofness or chose to ignore it, Rambouillet’s heart grew increasingly anxious.

At the same time, Sasha was all that occupied Karel’s mind. He hadn’t been able to sleep last night, thinking that he might find a clue about him tonight.

It’s funny. Not realizing these feelings when he was close. And they hadn’t even exchanged a word… He felt strangely captivated by something.

“Surprisingly, there aren’t many with black hair in Russia.”

Rambouillet was startled by Karel’s casual remark, trembling even to her shoulders. After a moment of embarrassment, she fell silent, but Karel still kept his gaze out of the window.

“Slavic people tend to have blonde hair. I’m different because I’m a foreigner.”

“Sometimes you do see people with black hair though.”

“It’s not just Slavs here. I’ve heard there are many ethnic minorities. I’m not sure about the details… like Tartars…”

“I see.”

Karel’s last words sounded like the end of the conversation. Startled, Rambouillet blurted out a thought that had just occurred to her, thinking they shouldn’t end the conversation abruptly.

“Your hair color…”

At that moment, Karel, who had been looking out the window the whole time, turned his gaze to the Countess.

“It’s sandy.”

“It’s a dense golden color.”

Their words came out simultaneously. Karel chuckled lightly, but Rambouillet’s heart raced nervously as if she had just paid him a compliment on his hair akin to praise.

Under the brilliant sun, Karel’s hair shone like gold, but in water or in dark places, it took on a dull hue. In fact, in Western Europe, it was an all too common color. Karel added casually,

“Praise for hair color… Julian receives more of that than I do.”

“Young Ludwig, isn’t it? I think it’s closer to platinum than gold.”

“That’s true.”

“In reality, melted gold is even darker. Like your hair. When I was young, I wanted hair as golden as honey.”

“You’re beautiful enough as you are. I wish my hair was as dark as yours, like a lady’s.”

“Why?”

“Just… sometimes it feels too conspicuous. I prefer to blend in a bit more.”

Rambouillet reluctantly agreed with Karel’s faintly assertive remark. Indeed, Karel stood out excessively. His calm demeanor, which belied his young age, evoked something reminiscent of an ancient oak. His sturdy physique, polite mannerisms, and voice all contributed to this.

But his rich golden hair reflecting light and olive-colored eyes alone added sweetness to his charm.

Rambouillet found herself imagining how passionate this young man might be if he ever fell in love.

“Even if your hair color was ordinary, you would still stand out…”

“Is it because of my height?”

Even as Rambouillet threw in a hint of flirtation, Karel responded nonchalantly. Rambouillet felt perplexed. Was it because Karel truly had no interest in romance, showing no signs of it whatsoever, or was he preemptively blocking everything out because he knew everything?

They discussed various hair colors and shades. The insight Karel gained from their conversation was that black-haired individuals in the empire were likely of Tartar or Gypsy descent, or conversely, they might have originated from Central Asia.

Karel thought Sasha would be lovely regardless of which side he belonged to.

The front of the theater was bustling.

Carriages carrying nobles arrived one after another, and beautifully adorned ladies and gentlemen proudly displayed their expensive furs as they entered the theater.

Karel, too, helped Rambouillet descend from the carriage and ascended the theater steps.

However, there was one unexpected thing for Karel: people’s attention was drawn to him, the one escorting the Countess.

Is it my manners? Do I stand out? Karel entered the lobby silently, feeling troubled, and soon realized that the surrounding gazes were not welcoming.

The murmuring crowd didn’t bother to conceal their whispers, some even glanced over with smirks. Amidst the loud chatter in the lobby, there were even those who openly mocked Rambouillet before confidently greeting her. Standing behind her like a shadow, Karel watched as she bravely faced all those stares.

But even she, unfamiliar with such cold reception, couldn’t hide the trembling in her voice.

“So, taking me out was an adventure for the lady too.”

Karel quickly read the atmosphere. It seemed that the frosty relationship between the haughty Duchess and Rambouillet was already common knowledge. Yet Rambouillet chose the company of a strange young man rather than her husband.

It raised suspicions of infidelity.

Deciding it might be best not to give Rambouillet any more opportunities after this outing, Karel organized his thoughts.

Shortly after, as the performance began, the two of them sat in the most expensive box seats, watching the show. The movements of the male dancers, whom Karel had never seen before, were somewhat unfamiliar but not unpleasant. They seemed powerful yet flexible and graceful.

Karel’s speculation that if Sasha were truly a dancer, seeing his freshly bathed, naked body would confirm his ability to perform physical tasks was somewhat accurate. Just as a person’s life is revealed through their body, Sasha too had a body finely honed through years of training.

“It looks good, but the content…”

It felt a bit too intense for Karel, who was unfamiliar with dance. Especially when the choreography became suggestive, indirectly expressing passion through semi-nudity, Karel felt his body heat up involuntarily at moments. It was due to his natural inclination to imagine Sasha as the lead performer.

After the performance ended, amidst the applause filling the theater, Karel mechanically clapped along, secretly exhaling a sigh.

The distance between the seats and the dancers was vast, and most of the dancers wore heavy makeup, obscuring their features. Thus, despite Karel’s confidence that he would recognize Sasha immediately upon seeing him, he felt perplexed.

It felt unsatisfying to leave with no progress.

“How was the performance?”

“Um… it was quite an experience.”

“If you ever want to come again…”

“I’m curious, do the dancers on stage change every day?”

“That’s often the case, as far as I know.”

“I see.”

As the conversation lapsed, Rambouillet, biting her lip, seemed anxious and spoke up again.

“Would you like to go backstage? It’s quite a special experience.”

Karel looked down at Rambouillet calmly. She also seemed reluctant to go home just like this, for reasons different from his own. However, since there was no reason to refuse, Karel nodded silently and rose from his seat.

The theater, sponsored by the duchess, eagerly accepted the countess’s request. Not only did they summon the director, but they also gathered all the members. Even the dancers who didn’t perform were brought out to stand, but Sasha didn’t appear in Karel’s quick scan of the group.

“Are there any dancers named Sasha?”

For a moment, Rambouillet’s face twisted with a slight shock upon hearing the name “Sasha.” However, Karel, who was closely observing the dancers, didn’t notice Rambouillet’s reaction.

“Oh, ‘Sasha’ is a very common name. Ah! Until recently, there was one more guy with that name, but after becoming the lead dancer, he seemed thrilled and then suddenly disappeared. There are so many like him! They act as if it’s their lifelong dream, but as soon as they feel the strain of actual training, they give up quickly. That guy was just another one whose patience ran out.”

“What are you saying?”

Karel asked Rambouillet. Rambouillet, wiping away her surprise, exchanged a few words with the director in short Russian.

“There’s no one named ‘Sasha’ here and the director is angry… He says many of them give up quickly and quit.”

“I see.”

Karel concealed his disappointment and crossed his arms. He hadn’t doubted that he would be able to meet Sasha today. Enveloped in a sense of despair, he didn’t realize that Rambouillet was concealing something and selectively relaying information.

Anyway, today’s outing turned out to be fruitless. Karel left the dressing room, leaving behind not Sasha, but others named Sasha.

On the way back, the two remained silent.

Karel felt guilty for not only bringing Rambouillet along without revealing his intention to find Sasha, but also for fostering strange expectations in her. But it was precisely because of this guilt that he remained even more aloof. He thought it was courteous not to give her false hope.

In the dark night, the sound of snowballs fiercely hitting the window and the desolate sound of the wind made the atmosphere even colder.

It was when the carriage entered the estate.

“Please, madam, alight first. I apologize for not being able to escort you. I will get off at the opposite corridor.”

The intention was not to show themselves together as if to advertise to people. Rambouillet reluctantly agreed, but hesitated until the end.

When Rambouillet didn’t immediately get off the carriage, Karel bluntly asked, “Do you have something else to say?”

Finally turning her gaze to Karel, Rambouillet struggled to speak. She knew Karel wasn’t a cold person. Rather, he was extremely calm, kind, almost like a perfect gentleman.

However, despite this, Karel had the power to listen only when he wanted to and to cut off when he didn’t.

Hesitant Rambouillet spoke up, “I never imagined you’d be looking for someone in the royal ballet company.”

“… It’s someone I know personally. Just in case.”

“Lies. There’s no way Sasha has any connection with you. He’s lived here all his life.”

Rambouillet blurted out with a hysterical voice, then unexpectedly fell silent. It was because she witnessed Karel’s expression momentarily turning cold.

Though Karel still maintained his composure, something in the atmosphere had changed.

As the tense Rambouillet didn’t continue speaking, Karel asked in a lower voice.

“You seem to know who I’m looking for.”

“…I apologize.”

With that, Rambouillet hastily straightened her dress and got off the carriage. Just before getting off, she looked back at Karel in the carriage, who was wearing a frighteningly stern expression.

Rambouillet quickly disappeared into the building. Seeing the dress tails disappearing behind the closing door, Karel let out a hollow laugh.

The woman had thrown an irresistible bait.

***

“How was the evening outing?”

As soon as he opened the door, Karel frowned. Julian was sprawled out on the couch as if it were his own, laughing heartily.

“It’s not like that.”

“No way. It’s been a while since you’ve dressed up properly. You look really good. Is it the dress Mrs. Rambouillet gave you? She’s really sincere. I’m naturally cheering for your love life, but… be careful not to get into a serious relationship. The Duke won’t tolerate scandals happening in his house.”

The slight snowflakes encountered on the way back had melted into moisture. Karel lazily wiped his coat with a dry towel and tossed it to Julian.

“It’s not that kind of relationship. And I have no intention of developing it.”

Wringing the towel dry on his face, Julian frowned.

“You speak as if everything will go your way. Karel, you can’t control women’s hearts.”

“If they knew I’m not a nobleman, they would leave on their own.”

“You’re saying naive things again!”

Julian sat up abruptly on the couch.

“Have you ever read romance novels that women read? You haven’t, have you? If you did, your thoughts would change. There are so many stories where a man without money or power, but with masculine charm, wins over a ‘real’ man.”

Karel looked genuinely bewildered by Julian’s words. His expression was so amusing that Julian chuckled.

In the midst of this, Karel suddenly pulled Julian up.

“Let’s go check on something.”

“What? Hey, wait….”

Dragging Julian, who was resisting even putting on his coat, Karel headed back out the door. Julian grumbled as he followed Karel’s footsteps.

“Where are we going?”

“……”

“It’s not far, is it? It’s freezing out here.”

Still, Karel remained silent for a while.

As they reached the end of the corridor, a strange building appeared between the pine trees on the other side. Before Julian could ask if they were actually going outside in this cold, Karel walked ahead without hesitation.

“Karel!”

“……”

Karel stopped in the snow and stared at Julian. There was no sense of aggression from Karel, no indication that he was about to strike Julian. Instead, Julian felt a faint urgency and sighed as he followed Karel across the garden.

“I mentioned that there’s someone I want to find.”

“Who? Oh….”

Julian briefly recalled the name he had pushed aside in his memory.

‘Alexandre Cédrin.’

His brow furrowed involuntarily. Still thinking about that man. From Julian’s perspective, it was an unworthy subject to dwell on, but for Karel, it seemed different.

“Talking about that guy again?”

“……”

With no response from Karel, they entered the building.

The night had grown late, and it seemed most people in the building were already asleep. Occasionally, murmurs could be heard from some rooms. Karel stood in front of a door without explanation. As if considering entering the room, Karel stood there, then gestured towards Julian.

“What’s up?”

“Translate this for me. What does it say?”

“Hmm, sounds like a person’s name, Alex… Alexandre Cédrin.”

As Julian read out the name, a shiver ran down his spine.

‘Well, that’s an easy question to answer. What’s your name?’

‘Cédrin, Alexandre Cédrin.’

It was the name of that guy.

Finally, Julian understood why Karel had brought him here. With no one speaking for a moment, the room fell silent.

“Look, the names are the same.”

In Karel’s strangely dreamy voice, Julian responded with annoyance.

“Karel, it’s just a coincidence.”

“But….”

“It’s a common name in Russia.”

“What if it’s him?”

“…….”

“If it’s true, then Sasha isn’t just some guy.”

This kid is blaming me. Julian thought bitterly.

“He was homeless, hiding. There must have been some story.”

“Well, wait…. How can you be sure it’s not just a coincidence?”

Karel didn’t answer. The only other evidence, a photo, was still in Karel’s possession, but it was from such a young age that even Karel couldn’t be sure. However, “I’ll find him and confirm it.” Karel had already concluded. So there was no reason for him to answer Julian’s question or convince him.

“Julian, I don’t want to inconvenience you. If you want to leave, you can go first. I’ll stay here and look for Sasha.”

“For goodness sake….”

Julian muttered irritably and turned away first. Karel silently followed, thinking that even if Julian got angry at his stubbornness, there was nothing he could do about his determination to search.

On the way back, neither of them said a word.

Karel wasn’t one to stubbornly insist on things, but once he made a decision, he always followed through. What surprised Julian, despite knowing Karel’s personality, was that Karel had never been stubborn solely for his own desires. Karel had always been mature beyond his years, sacrificial, and willing to step back from his desires.

So when Karel said he wouldn’t go to college, or when he insisted on helping his father at the abattoir, Julian believed Karel’s reasons without a doubt. He didn’t want to squander any more of the Ludwig family’s wealth or cause any more trouble.

‘That was really unfortunate.’

But it turns out it was all to hide and live off society’s honor! And now, he was staying here to find a man whose identity he didn’t even know.

Julian let out a shallow sigh. He kept encountering Karel’s sincerity on this journey. It was unexpected.

“What if you can’t find him?”

To Julian’s question, Karel replied without a hint of hesitation on his face.

“That won’t happen.”

“Isn’t it too easy to be so sure?”

“It won’t happen until I give up.”

Karel’s unwavering faith sent shivers down Julian’s spine. Was this the same Karel who had been a devotee of rationalism?

But even so, Julian couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something unusual about his connection with Sasha. He had thought it was just a passing acquaintance on the journey, but to find clues about him in the house of a randomly invited noblewoman… It was too strange to simply dismiss as a cruel twist of fate.

Julian stared intently at Karel, who seemed to be playing along with the whims of fate.

There were no outward changes, but the transformation must be happening internally.

Feeling Julian’s intense gaze, Karel asked, “Why, is it surprising that I’m like this?”

“No… I don’t know what to say. Surprising! It’s actually fitting. I’m…”