Chapter 27
After blurting it out, I felt extremely embarrassed inside. No matter how weird the topic was, it felt even more awkward after saying it out loud. Especially when Jung Yiyeon stared at me, furrowing one eyebrow. It was cringe-worthy to the point where my face felt hot.“Am I blocking Secretary Lee’s job?”I expressed affirmation by not answering.“It’s not because of the secretary’s incompetence that you couldn’t get the job, is it? I don’t understand why you’re coming to me to argue.”Overcoming embarrassment was anger. Well, incompetence? Is there such a jerk? Something surged within me. It was a tremendous insult for Jung Yiyeon, a malicious employer, to disparage my abilities.“I was the only one who endured under CEO Jung Yiyeon. It was also what the interviewers considered the most significant achievement.”“So did you work for a year? As far as I remember, you quit after just 8 months. And for quite inappropriate reasons.”Ah, such a jerk. I cursed inwardly as I gritted my teeth. Inappropriate reasons? It felt like my blood was draining from my body in disbelief. Let’s not flatter too much; I straightforwardly brought up the matter.“While we’re on the subject, didn’t you mention it from the beginning? That if I quit because of the relationship demanded by the CEO, you would help me find another job.”“Now? Why are you saying this to me now? Seo Jaeoh is also a pretty decent son of a well-off family. Can’t he help you with your job search?”Did this guy take some kind of nerve medicine? Why is he suddenly bringing up Jaeoh’s story here?I even thought for a moment if this was jealousy. But only for a moment. I chuckled. Why? Because the shepherd boy Jung Yiyeon lied again, saying the wolf had appeared.Pretending to be jealous, pretending to like me. All of that was his lies, even if there was no intention to deceive me, they were meaningless actions that made me misunderstand. He had never truly been jealous or liked me.Moreover, even if now he were to say he was jealous or liked me, what meaning would it have if those were the truth?“So are you saying you won’t keep your promise from back then? Wasn’t CEO Jung Yiyeon supposed to keep his word?”I asked with a sarcastic tone, suppressing my disdain as much as possible.My attitude, which didn’t reveal much emotion, made Jung Yiyeon’s gaze subtle. I couldn’t discern the meaning behind his gaze.There were times when I tried to understand the meaning of that gaze. I used to be anxious to know his thoughts. However, now I didn’t want to know. At this point, I only made an effort to clear the uncomfortable memories from my mind.Jung Yiyeon, who had been silently staring at me, finally spoke.“I distinctly remember you saying ‘It’s not necessary’ when you quit as my secretary.”“….”No… I lost words at the unexpected statement. Did I… did I say that? Really?Suddenly, the memories of that day came rushing back. Memories that were so embarrassing and painful that I had consciously tried to forget them. Yes, on that day, I was so sad and miserable. Amidst the shame and disgrace, he seemed to want me so desperately, and it was painful because it didn’t happen the way he wanted.So, I had said it back then.“Well then, I’ll just quit. No need to find another job.”… I remembered rejecting his suggestion for a job change as impulsively as a confession.Damn it… shit… I should have remembered earlier! If I had remembered earlier, there wouldn’t have been this disgrace and shame!A sense of shame surged within me. It was unbearable. No, damn it, is he really not going to help with my real job search? And is it really true that Jung Yiyeon has not been hindering my reemployment all this time, despite the warnings?At that moment, I was in complete panic. I couldn’t utter a word in front of Jung Yiyeon’s piercing gaze. I just wanted to disappear from that place.I should leave. When I decided to leave the place, feeling too humiliated, Jung Yiyeon suddenly called me.“Lee Nan.”“…Yes.”As he suddenly called my name, I waited for his next words, thinking about leaving after hearing them. Eventually, Jung Yiyeon’s lips parted.“You’re right. I’m involved. You’re not going anywhere.”Jung Yiyeon’s shameless words once again left me speechless. Even when I had firmly rejected his advances, I was taken aback, but now, admitting that I had done that was just awkward.“…What…?”My voice, asking in bewilderment, trembled.“Things were unsettled, weren’t they? I keep remembering the door closing on my face.”It was the story of the day I returned from a trip. The day I, who always listened to his stories and waited for his words, for the first time spoke only what I had to say and closed the door in front of him.Let’s say it was damaging to his pride. But does that justify blocking someone else’s employment?“So, are you seeking revenge now?”“Revenge, huh. Well, I did think about using a different method since I came late.”“Are you telling me you hoped I would come here?”“If you closed the door like that, it doesn’t seem likely that you would open it just because I’m clinging. And besides, it’s been a long time since you changed your number, right? So, you have no choice but to come to me.”Wow. This guy is really shameless. Considering what he has done to me before, shouldn’t he refrain from contacting me? It’s common decency to apologize when remembering how he treated me like a tool for sex.I thought there was nowhere further for my pride to fall, but Jung Yiyeon was personally showing me that the bottom wasn’t reached yet. It was a situation where even the arrogance was wearing thin.If it weren’t for the job, I would never have seen Jung Yiyeon again, so his strategy could be considered a complete failure. In the end, I came to meet him just as he had planned. It was a game played in Jung Yiyeon’s hands. Thanks to him, I felt utterly humiliated.“What do you want to say?”By now, I had no reason to leave politely. Until now, I had been treating him with respect, speaking politely and treating him like a boss, but now, it was too much. I was seething with anger.Jung Yiyeon leaned back in his chair, crossed his arms, and clenched his fist. There was no hesitation in his gaze towards me. I couldn’t read his expressionless face.Without hesitation, Jung Yiyeon spoke.“Ten times.”“Ten times…?”Why was a number suddenly being mentioned? I was perplexed.“Let’s have sex ten times. When I want it.”“Are you crazy?”I was stunned to the point where words, akin to curses, escaped my mouth without going through my brain. It was absurd. What was he suggesting? I even doubted my ears, wondering if I had misheard.However, his shameless and confident expression confirmed that my hearing was perfectly fine.“Have I ever refused when you contacted me? If anything, the ten times I demanded weren’t that much compared to back then, right?”“Why didn’t you just ignore me? You responded to me as you pleased, so I will also ignore you as I please. There’s no reason for me to act the same way in the same situation.”“I’m good at sex.”“There are plenty of people who are good at it.”Certainly, Jung Yiyeon skillfully led me to climax. Even when I took the lead, I felt pleasure to the point of agony.But was it really just a matter of technique? I don’t think so. Beneath it all was my affection for Jung Yiyeon. I liked him so much that even if Jung Yiyeon had been impotent, I would have been happy.At that time, intoxicated by my emotions for him, each touch felt like setting fire to every cell in my body. I couldn’t clear my mind from the thrilling current running through my entire being. Because I liked him. Because I loved him.Therefore, having sex with him again wouldn’t be as enjoyable as before. Of course, I could still feel physiological pleasure without emotions. However, the overwhelming happiness that once filled my chest would undoubtedly be absent.Now, just looking at his face irritated me. How could I have sex with him? There was no corner to find even a little enjoyment.I questioned why I was engaging in this foolish conversation. So, I didn’t hesitate to speak the thoughts that came to my mind.“I’ve told you several times, but you’re terrible at oral.”“If you just let me in, it’ll be fine.”…Damn it. Facing such shameless talk, I once again found myself at a loss for words. I couldn’t count how many times I had lost my words during this conversation.The realization of this being my preference followed. Of course, it was initially his appearance that captivated me at first sight. His charisma while working here, a gentle yet indifferent personality, and the naturally exuded relaxed atmosphere gradually drew me in. What I found most endearing, however, was the childlike aspect hidden beneath the cold, perfectionist exterior.But eventually, the shell is bound to be peeled off.Now, I doubted that I could feel that excitement again. His shameless behavior didn’t seem cute anymore. I simply chuckled belatedly at the thought that I must have gone crazy to have liked this shameless and despicable side.“That’s enough. It’s an unreasonable proposal. Of course, I refuse. Goodbye—”–-I was planning to say goodbye. I didn’t want to see him anymore. I planned to leave without looking back.However, Jung Yiyeon interrupted me, saying, “Are you going to live as a perpetual unemployed person? Or become a pillar husband? Oh, sir. There was someone quite extraordinary. But you know what? I don’t particularly want to get involved, but with one call to the prosecution, I could handle your situation too.”For a moment, I stared blankly at Jung Yiyeon. What was he talking about? Could this be blackmail?“Do you have any corner left to believe in? Seo Jaeoh? That friend needs to fill at least a year in my hotel to stay in Korea. But isn’t he quite busy lately? Being a concierge is inherently dirty and tough work. No proper quitting time either.”At that statement, I sighed. It wasn’t anger but rather a sense of absurdity. It was too unbelievable. I was so perplexed that I couldn’t think straight.“Are you threatening me now? And did you influence Jaeoh’s busy schedule too?”“I haven’t started threatening yet. I just mentioned that lately, I feel like making Seo Jaeoh work to death.”This was absurd. Like a child who had lost their toy. Jung Yiyeon was precisely that. Showing off, uttering nonsense, and stubbornly sticking to his own whims.In the past, I found his behavior utterly cute. Now, there was no excitement. I was just a bit surprised. The man who was usually so cold in emotional management, particularly with Min Seowon, was now surprisingly showing his emotions to me. Of course, it irritated me as well.“Oh, is it because of your pride? Do you dare to think that I’m angry or something?”“Do you want to vent your anger?”“Venting, yeah. Let me ask you something. How did you handle me, Lee Nan?”I remained silent for a moment. How did I handle Jung Yiyeon? I don’t know. It just happened suddenly. Tired of being dragged along by Jung Yiyeon’s constant jerk behavior, my feelings became numb, and at some point, I just turned away.“I tried doing nothing, worked like crazy as if possessed. I even tried drinking, but it didn’t help. Ironically, I even bought a book about breakups. But nothing helped. Meeting other people didn’t even spark the desire.”It was an unbelievable statement. Did Jung Yiyeon do the things I did when I suffered because of him—of course, I never read a breakup book, as I didn’t even know such a thing existed? Did he do all that too? Was it because Jung Yiyeon liked me that much?“It’s all your fault, Lee Nan. You tempted me so much that I couldn’t regain my senses.”“Hah.”“Yeah, I took some time. I admit that. But eventually, I got over it. After igniting this fire in my heart, are you going to pretend not to know anything?”“Nonsense. I can’t stand listening to more of this.”“Venting? No, it’s not that. If it were, I would have kicked Seo Jaeoh out of my sight. But I’m holding back. So, let’s come to an agreement here. Otherwise, I might really go to extremes.”Jung Yiyeon remained consistently himself.The past me, who found his shameless attitude cute, was a complete idiot. I was now fed up with a man who could only express himself in such a way, even when begged.An insufferable arrogant man. A selfish being who believed there was no one in the world but himself.The reason for being cold to Min Seowon was simply that he didn’t want Min Seowon. In my case, it was the same. My feelings of love for him were disregarded, and he was only faithful to my desire for sex. Even now, claiming to like me was nothing but deception. Despite declaring that it was over, he was pushing only the emotion that he liked me.If he truly harbored feelings of liking me, could he dare to say such things?A fiery anger surged within me against Jung Yiyeon’s shamelessness.However, I didn’t want to yell at him. I didn’t want to curse at him.Of course, the desire to pour out my anger wasn’t absent, but even if it was rage, I didn’t want to show any fluctuation in my emotions to Jung Yiyeon. So, gritting my teeth, I forcibly held onto the reins of my emotions.“No, I don’t want to.”My short, subdued voice was incredibly cold.“Is that your final decision? Should I see how I can handle it to relieve my conscience?”“Is there anything that will change by knowing? I’m not such a good person to sacrifice myself just because Jaeoh helped a lot and we were close.”“….”“And shouldn’t sex be done with joyful feelings? Whether it’s doing something drastic like threatening or doing something fatal, it’s not fun at all. How can sex be enjoyable in such situations?”“…Just letting me do that much would satisfy me. If you do it ten times, I’ll settle within that.”Now that a person was throwing a fit to this extent, I found myself strangely indifferent, almost devoid of anger. It was simply absurd.“Lee Nan, you’re smart. Think carefully and tell me.”“There’s no need to think twice about it.”Enraged, my tone was just flat.The threat of sending Jaeoh back home and forcing him to leave for overseas studies had absolutely no effect on me. Jaeoh wouldn’t want to be my weakness. If he knew that I was being threatened by Jung Yiyeon because of him, Jaeoh would rather cleanly quit the company and be taken away by his parents.Even if that were not the case, I had no reason to sacrifice myself for him. I felt grateful and sorry, but that didn’t mean I would give up my life for him. I was not originally such a conscientious person.Jung Yiyeon, who had been silently looking at me for a moment, opened his mouth without any change in expression.“If you leave like this, I won’t hold back anymore. Seo Jaeoh, your family, job, house, people around you… I won’t leave anything. Impressive, huh? I could mess with your brother, so what if I did? I’ll clear everything. I’ll leave you alone and tie you to my side.”I… for a moment, couldn’t follow what Jung Yiyeon was saying. I hadn’t expected to hear such things, so my mind froze. Shocking words continued, seemingly impossible for a sensible person to utter.“Now, this is indeed a threat. I’m threatening you. I want to keep you by my side no matter what, even if we both become miserable. That’s better than now.”I had never imagined a day when the languid, pleasant tone I always found soothing would sound so dark with an expression that was no different from usual. The statement of clearing everything around me and isolating me sent shivers down my spine. The idea of keeping me by his side sounded like he would break my arms and legs to do so. The madness that emanated from him without filtering was staggering.I wondered if Jung Yiyeon had this side to him. A new aspect I was unaware of felt unfamiliar and utterly strange.“…Before it comes to that, let’s compromise little by little. Ten times. After that, I’ll leave cleanly. Or it might be faster than that.”He’s out of his mind. That was the only thought that came to my mind. I didn’t want to deal with him anymore. There was even a desire to tell him to do whatever he wanted. Probably because I knew how rational and logical Jung Yiyeon could be. He wasn’t someone to commit such irrational acts.“No, you bastard.”In the end, obscenities mixed into my response, but my answer remained consistent. There was no room for compromise. Why would I have sex with Jung Yiyeon when everything was already over? There were countless other potential partners in the world.After delivering a firm response, I turned away. I wanted to leave this room and escape his gaze. His gaze, which felt like it could swallow me whole from head to toe, was too heavy.Why were my fingertips and toes so cold? Perhaps I was somewhat intimidated by Jung Yiyeon.Was he really bluffing? Could I truly say that I knew Jung Yiyeon well? It’s not like I didn’t have the ability to do bad things. Considering Jung Yiyeon’s family background, there was no guarantee that the shadowy world wouldn’t reach him.Although I firmly said no, with each step I took to leave, anxiety settled in.“Think carefully before you leave.”His low, laid-back voice caught my ankles.“Don’t test me.”It sounded almost leisurely, but there was undoubtedly enough force in his voice to stop my steps in an instant.A chilly sensation ran down my spine, and it felt like my head was standing on end even without looking. I could sense Jung Yiyeon’s gaze fixed on the back of my head. The air inside the room was suffocating, conveying everything to me.This statement now was by no means a simple threat.“…”I held the doorknob, but I couldn’t bring myself to open the door and leave. While there was tension in the hand gripping the doorknob, I couldn’t force it open. My steps also refused to move.I couldn’t leave. At the same time, I didn’t want to turn back. I just stood there frozen.After a brief silence, Jung Yiyeon’s voice echoed.“It would be great if you could change your mind even midway through… But even if you don’t, I’ll fill it ten times, and then I’ll settle everything. If it doesn’t settle… I won’t act recklessly or childishly like this anymore. I don’t want to become more pathetic.”Already sickeningly pathetic. Annoyingly and disgustingly so. What’s going on, Jung Yiyeon? What the hell do you want me to do?It was simply unbelievable. I felt like all other options I might have had were taken away, leaving only one. I only now realized that I had walked into a trap by entering this room.A cool breeze blew down my neck. Closing my eyes tightly, I clenched my teeth.Then, slowly turning around, I looked at him.The moment our eyes met, it felt like the ground beneath me was collapsing. I hated this powerless situation. I couldn’t stand it. Facing a face that I found attractive even in my preferences made me feel irritated. Damn it, what do you want me to do?I was simply dumbfounded. The only option left for me was one where I felt like all choices had been forcibly eliminated. I only now noticed that I had fallen into a trap by entering this room.I had no desire to deal with him anymore. There was even a desire to tell him to do whatever he wanted. Probably because I knew how rational and logical Jung Yiyeon could be. He wasn’t someone to commit such irrational acts.However, his statement that he would fill it ten times and then settle everything was troubling. It was already so sickeningly pathetic. I was fed up with it.“Boss, if my feelings change as you’ve settled yours, will I go through the same foolish play as before?”Jung Yiyeon finally smiled subtly. His eyes sparkled as if something had lit up. But fundamentally, his expression was close to mocking me.“Lee Nan, is there even a possibility of that happening?”Only then did I realize that I had made a mistake in my words.“No, it was a foolish thing to say.”“I almost got my hopes up, didn’t I? So, what’s there to worry about now? It seems like there’s no reason for it not to work.”In the absurd emptiness, I let out a silent laughter inside. I had calmed down to the point where I couldn’t be angry anymore. It was overwhelmingly frustrating, and my chest felt like it was going to burst, but eventually, there was only one thing I could choose at this point.